


Entangled | Zayn Malik

by samelovestyles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Fanfiction, Gore, Romance, Suspense, Thriller, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:18:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 75,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samelovestyles/pseuds/samelovestyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His eyes were deep and dark and captivating. His silence said much more than any words he could’ve spoken. Why was Kaya so drawn to Zayn? Why did she feel like she needed to know more about him and his life? It was a nagging feeling that she had. <i>Speak to him</i>, it told her. <i>Get to know him more. Unravel him.</i> So she did. But little did Kaya know, the twisted life of Zayn Malik was something she would soon regret being entangled in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story includes strong language and sensitive issues some readers may find distressing.

"Why are you running sweetheart? I only want to talk to you." A voice from behind speaks to me. The voice has a familiarity that I can't put my finger on.

It's eerie and quiet and disgruntled and it echoes through the dark and empty street that I'm running through. My footsteps colliding harshly with the gravel is the only other sound that can be heard. Where is everybody? Can't anybody hear me?

My legs are pumping harder than I even thought possible but it still isn't fast enough. My lungs are gagging for air and sweat is stinging my warm face. No matter how fast I run or how many corners and turns I take, this _thing_ is always right behind me. Almost as if it's moving at a superhuman speed.

Heaving and panting, suddenly my legs halt and I'm frozen on the spot. I attempt to scream but nothing happens. I try to move but my body seems to have stopped responding.

_No, please, I can't stop now! It'_ _ll_ _catch me if I stop now!_

Rough, cold hands touch my shoulders – a shiver shoots through my whole body. The hands hook around my neck, long sharp nails dig into my skin.

_No! Let go of me!_

The hands squeeze tighter, and tighter, and tighter until the nails pierce my skin and blood begins to drip down my neck. I can't feel the pain, I'm numb. But as I slowly cast my eyes down, I can see that my whole body is now covered in blood – my blood. It's ice cold and this I can feel. My blood is blanketing me and I'm shivering now. My teeth are rattling as I shiver and I can hear it loudly inside my head, as though it's echoing through my skull. I'm struggling to catch a breath as the skin still noticeable through the blood begins to turn blue. The voice from earlier lets out a long and slow laugh and I know it's right beside me. I panic as I feel the breath of this _thing_ against my right ear.

"All you had to do was talk to me, sweetheart." It laughs, mockingly, before tightening its hands somehow more than it already has.

A spine-tingling crack magnifies in my ears and I wish I could go back to feeling numb. My head limps to one side and this must be what it would feel like if a grenade exploded in your skull.

-

I jolt awake, heart pounding and clothes clinging to my sweat-soaked skin. It was just a dream. I breathe a long and shaky sigh of relief. This is the third time in the past two weeks that I've had the same dream, with the same spine-chilling voice, running through that same dark and derelict street.

I roll on to my side and let out a groan as I look at the clock on my bedside table to see it's nearly 7am, just a few minutes before my alarm is supposed to go off. I despise when that happens.

I consider closing my eyes again for a few more minutes but the clamminess and stickiness of my sweat-soaked clothes and skin makes me reconsider. I pick up my phone and turn off my alarm before dragging myself out of bed and straight to the bathroom for a shower. As I turn on the shower and watch the steam fill the bathroom, I turn the heat down. I'm in dire need of a cold shower but I know if I take one I'll regret it as soon as the icy water hits my skin. So I opt for a warm one, easy peasy.

I peel my clothes off and throw them in the hamper before stepping into the shower. I instantly feel relaxed as the water batters my skin, like lukewarm hands giving me a gentle massage. I lather my pomegranate shower gel all over my body and then rinse it off. I then pick up my pomegranate shampoo and conditioner and quickly wash my hair.

You see, I have a thing about pomegranate smelling things. Shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, candles – you name it. It smells divine. I'd probably drink this shampoo if it wouldn't kill me purely because it smells so good. Okay so maybe it wouldn't kill me but it'd probably make me ill and, y'know, it's just not worth it.

So why not just buy an _actual_ pomegranate and eat that? I hear you ask. Good question. I've never actually tasted pomegranate in my life. They look funny. Like, why are the seeds in it so huge? Do you eat the seeds? Do you pick the seeds out and just eat the remaining fruit? Too many questions. I don't know much about pomegranate politics. Pomegranate juice might be a shout though.

_Note to self: buy pomegranate juice._

One last rinse under the water and I climb out of the shower and wrap a soft towel around my body. I wrap a smaller towel around my hair and brush my teeth. 

Just as I'm about to walk out the bathroom door I stub my toe on the laundry hamper and my god that is a perfect insight into what my life is like.

"Shit!" I shout, laughing a bit too loudly and maniacally because if I don't I know for a fact I'll burst into tears.

_Happy fucking Monday, Kaya Greyson. Way to go._

I limp my way back into my bedroom and feel extremely thankful that nobody is around to witness the monstrosity that is Monday-morning-Kaya. I rush about trying to do my makeup, dry and straighten my hair and get dressed, all with a throbbing toe. I manage to get myself looking at least a little bit presentable and I grab my car keys and head out the door.

I'm a receptionist at Crystal Hills High School and at the ripe age of twenty I'm the youngest employee there. I graduated from the school two years ago with not the foggiest clue of what I wanted to do with my life. It's bullshit how we're expected to have it all figured out by the time we graduate. I still don't have a clue what I want to do, but there was a vacancy available at the school and I thought, why not? I applied for the job and, to my surprise I was offered a full time position.

Mr Jacob Hedshaw - the head teacher - told me that he'd always thought I was an exceptional student, and that this would be a great opportunity for me to start out and then progress my career. This may not be exactly what I want to do with my life, but for now it pays good money and it does me just fine.

As I drive through the busy town of Crystal Hills, there's happy, smiling faces everywhere. I know it's due to the weather, the sun is shining down and it's a total scorcher. Whereas yesterday, it was absolutely bucketing down and everybody's face was miserable. It's funny the way the weather can affect peoples moods. 

I arrive at the school and park my car. I grab my jacket and bag from the back seat before walking through the car park past the masses of tired looking teenagers. 

"Morning Miss Greyson." One of the sixth years say.

"Morning Leigh." I smile.

Even though I've worked here for nearly two years it's still a bit weird to me to hear the students call me "Miss" when I'm only a few years older than some of them.

I enter the school and walk through the crowded corridors and into the staff room. All the staff have a locker in there to keep their belongings in. I greet the staff that are sitting down enjoying a coffee before their hectic days begins, and I make my way to the lockers at the back of the room.

I stop in my tracks as I notice someone holding the padlock of my locker, attempting to put in the combination. He's tall with dark hair. I can't see his face as his back is to me. _Who the?_

"Excuse me?" I say as I approach him.

He ignores me. I take a step closer until I'm standing right beside him. He looks to have a few days stubble on his face and I can't help but notice his striking, chiselled jawline. I clear my throat and this time he turns to face me. I don't recognise him. I'm taken aback by his intense stare, his eyes are a dark shade of hazel and I genuinely feel like his gaze is burning right into my soul.

"Uh, this is my locker." I gesture between the padlock in his hand and the locker beside us.

He doesn't say a word as he continues to stare at me, making me slightly uncomfortable. He startles me by releasing the padlock, causing it to smack loudly off of the locker. He directs his gaze to me once more before walking away. I just stare at the padlock in my somewhat shocked state. When I look around the room to see where he went, he's nowhere to be seen.

I snap out of my confused daze and put the combination into the padlock, before putting my bag inside the locker and heading to the main office.

As I walk again through the crowded corridors, my thoughts are tainted by this man I just encountered and I wonder - who is he and where did he come from?


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, dear." Madge is her usual cheery self as I enter the main office and she gives me a sweet smile.

"Morning Madge." I smile back.

Madge sits at the desk across from me. She just turned fifty not too long ago. We decorated her desk with balloons and banners and confetti, and you could tell she was absolutely mortified when we all sang happy birthday to her and students passing the office stopped and joined in. But deep down we knew she loved it really. She has ashy blonde hair down to her shoulders and a dazzling white smile and she always has a cracking tan. Wouldn't mind looking like that when I'm fifty.

She immediately took me under her wing when I started here and I've always been extremely thankful for that. She'd worked here since I was a student and she'd always treat me like a friend and speak to me like an adult, unlike the majority of the other teachers. It's funny how when I was a student here, most of the teachers would treat me like a child and they wouldn't give me the time of day. Now they all suck up to me with their pretentious, nicey-nice attitudes. Artificial fucks.

"How are you this morning?" She asks.

"Not too bad. Stubbed my toe this morning though, could've done without that."

"Well, it is Monday. Monday blues are after you." She says.

"Well they can fuck right off." I frown and Madge laughs.

I wonder if she knows anything about the guy I seen this morning. He obviously works here, or else he wouldn't have been in the staff room. Unless he just walked in brazen-as-you-like and thought y'know what? I'm just gonna try and get into this locker and see what goodies are in there. But I doubt that. Actually scratch that, the security in here would probably let him walk right in without asking for ID. I say security, but what I really mean is Joe the security guard who sits on his arse all day eating crisps and only gets up to go pee or buy more crisps. I mean, the guys got a heart of gold and all but he's just really shit at his job.

"Hey Madge, do we have any new starts today?" I ask.

"Let me check." She puts her glasses on and opens the black leather diary in front of her.

"Let me see, let me see," her finger slowly drags down the page, looking for today's date. "Ah, here we go."

"We've got two new students and a new staff addition." She tells me.

"The staff addition, male?" I ask.

"Yep, names Zayn Malik," she nods. "New janitor. Have you met him?"

"Uh, possibly. There was a guy trying to get into my locker this morning. I told him that it was my locker then he just kind of looked at me then walked away."

"Without a word?" She asks.

"Without a word." I nod.

"That's a bit weird."

"Right?" I agree, just as the bell sounds, signalling the start of the school day.

—

The rest of the day passes quite quickly as it's now just after 5PM and all the students have well gone for the night.

"Right you, tear yourself away from that computer. It's home time." Madge pats the back of my chair as she stands up and puts her jacket on.

"I'm going to go to the staff room and get my stuff, want me to get yours?" She asks.

"Nah it's fine, thanks Madge. I just need to finish up here before I leave."

"Alrighty, I'll see you tomorrow then." She calls as she walks out of the office.

"See you tomorrow." I call back.

I finish off the email I was writing and click send, and then shut down my computer. I glance around the office as I stand up and realise that everyone has gone for the night, I hadn't even noticed, must've been to engrossed in my email. I turn the radio off and I stretch my arms and legs and accidentally make an extremely weird noise that I'm thankful no one is around to hear. I put my jacket on and start to zip it up but then something flickers at the corner of my eye and my heart drops.

Suddenly I'm conscious of the fact that I can't hear a thing except my shallow breaths. In my head it sounds much louder than it is, even though nobody in the same room as me would hear it.

_Unless they're standing right behind you._

Oh, hey, thanks for that subconscious-Kaya, you snarky little shit. That's exactly the image I need when I'm scared shitless.

I slowly turn my head around with withheld breath and I look through the glass pane at reception. Then it flickers again and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Jesus, it's only a faulty light in the corridor.

I let out a quiet, nervous laugh and my heart rate slowly begins to turn to normal. Although, honestly, I'm still a bit creeped out. Sure it's only a faulty light, but the corridor is completely empty. Looks like that scene straight outta Silent Hill. Let's just hope Pyramid Head or the Armless Man don't make an appearance. And there's another image I definitely did not need.

I need to get out of here before I end up giving myself a coronary. I exit the main office and quietly close the door behind me. I stop and look around and I feel extremely uneasy as I don't see anyone. Where is everyone? There's usually still some teachers around when I leave but there's absolutely no one here. I peer into the classrooms as I walk towards the staff room but they're all either in complete darkness or vacant.

As I'm walking I find myself completely on edge, as if someone is following me. I can see that there's nobody around but I still feel iffy and I don't know what it is but I can't shake the feeling that someone is behind me. Whose idea was it to make the staff room so far away from the office? I start to walk a little faster and that's when I hear it. Slow, light footsteps behind me followed by the sound of something being dragged along the corridor floor. I stop dead in my tracks and turn around but there's nobody in sight and the sound stops. My heart's racing again now and as soon as I pick up the pace, the sound returns.

"Where are you going, sweetheart? I only want to talk." The chilling voice from my nightmare slices through the silence of the empty corridor.

This isn't fucking happening.

I break into a run and I don't dare look back. I'm hallucinating. There's nobody here. It's just me. Alone. In these god damn empty corridors.

"I'm faster than you are, dear." The voice laughs. The laugh turns into an evil sounding cackle and it's getting louder and louder. I can physically feel the words swirling around in my head, knocking at my skull for entrance into my brain.

"No!" I shout. "Stop it!" I shake my head to try and get rid of the voice.

The staff room is at the end of this corridor so I run faster than I ever have before, until finally I'm in the staff room with the door closed behind me. My hands are still on the door handle shaking uncontrollably. I lean forward and rest my forehead on the cool glass of the door with my back facing the room. I stay there for a few moments to catch my breath. I let out a long puff of air and as I turn around my heart drops right back down to the pit of my stomach, where it was only a few minutes ago. The janitor. He's sitting on the couch in his grey boiler suit, just staring at me.

"I didn't realise anyone was in here." I say. Silence. He doesn't really seem to acknowledge what I just said as he turns his attention back to the mug he's drinking from. Maybe he's shy?

I walk right by him and towards the back of the room to retrieve my bag from my locker and I throw it over my shoulder.

"You're new here, right?" I ask him as I walk back over. I silently plead with him not to ignore me again.

He nods. Hallelujah. At least it's something.

"I'm Kaya, I work at reception." I smile politely.

Just as I think he's about to ignore me, he sits his mug down on the table and stands up.

"I'm Zayn. The new janitor." He says and I'm a bit surprised by his confident demeanour. I expected him to have a quiet voice for some reason, but it's the complete opposite. It's deep and bold and now that I think about it, it was probably a bit stupid of me to think his voice would be anything other than what it is. It somehow seems to suit his dark hair and dark eyes.

"Nice to meet you." I say.

"Likewise." He says, his eyes meeting mine. His eyes are intriguing to me, captivating almost. I don't want to look away.

"Anyway, I was just heading home." I start to walk towards the door, "I'll see you around."

My wild imagination from earlier springs to life again and I hesitate as I reach for the door handle. Then I remember Zayn is standing behind me so I try my best to regain composure.

"I'm going this way too." He tells me, reaching for the door handle and holding it opened for me.

Thank god. I really didn't want to walk through these corridors again alone. I'm afraid of what my mind will do if left to its own devices.

"Thanks." I say as I walk out the door. He doesn't reply, and I guess we're back to the silence.

We walk through the corridors, not speaking a word. He's walking slightly in front of me and I find my eyes being drawn to a particular mark on the back of his neck. It looks like a scar. It's a few inches long, in a diagonal line.

We're now in the corridor with the faulty light and I'm thankful that the exit of the school is in view.

"I have some work to do before I leave." Zayn says, gesturing to the janitors cupboard. "I'll see you." He continues, opening the cupboard and stepping inside.

"Alright, bye." I smile politely.

I carry on walking down the corridor and out into the hot air outside. I walk to my car and unlock it and as I get in and sit down I breathe a sigh of relief. I put my hands on the steering wheel and rest my head lightly on it.

What a day this has been. It's bad enough I've been having nightmares at home but to have one during the day? While at work? This is the last thing I need. A minute or two passes of me just resting my head on the steering wheel, collecting my thoughts. I take a deep breath and lift my head, ready to start the car when my eyes fall on a figure exiting the school. Zayn. Didn't he just say he still had work to do?

I watch him as he gets in a sleek, black Jaguar and drives away. Nice car. Would a job as a school janitor fund a car like that? Actually, he only started today. So what did he do before?

I'm really intrigued by his persona, his lack of words and most of all his eyes. His captivating, dark eyes. I've got far too many questions about this guy that I just met and I don't even know why. One thing about me though, what Kaya Greyson wants to know, Kaya Greyson will find out. That's for sure.

—

Authors Note:

_FYI, Zayn is a janitor in this story because he needs to be. Please spare me the comments_ _(especially the rude ones)_ _telling me he should be an art or english teacher and whatnot. Plus, picture Zayn in a grey boiler suit rolled down with the arms wrapped around his waist, wearing a tight white t-shirt with his muscles on show, Oh, you don't like that? Fine. Your loss._

_-S x_


	3. Chapter 3

Last night was dreadful. You know that feeling where you're physically exhausted but your mind just won't shut off? It's like you're lying there, unable to move because you're so _damn_ exhausted. But your mind, your mind seems to be moving just fine. Faster than usual actually, like it's running a marathon. Almost feels like your head isn't even attached to your body.

I had another nightmare. Only this time I wasn't being chased in a dark street. It was the school corridors like yesterday. I ran and ran and ran but the _thing_ was right behind me as always. Then of course my legs gave in and everything around me turned black. It was like the sky was raining thick, black paint all around me. It didn't touch me, but it surrounded me until all I could see was darkness. Usually when the darkness takes over I wake up, but not this time. This time the darkness parted like the red sea in front of me and a house came into view.

Not just any ordinary house, it was a mansion. The black paint transitioned into a dark sky and the air felt bitter. There was a frightening stillness in the air, but somehow I felt calm. I was no longer being chased and it was just me, alone, standing in front of this mansion.

It was dark and derelict and looked to be about four stories high, with a few broken windows in certain places. The top floor of the mansion had metal bars covering the windows. Which made me wonder, was this a prison? A mental asylum? Some kind of school? Whatever it was, it gave me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I could feel my calm exterior starting to crack the more I looked at the sight in front of me. Then I heard that all too familiar sound - something being dragged along the ground. I didn't know where it came from. It was quiet enough for me to know it wasn't right beside me, but loud enough to know that it wasn't too far away.

I don't know what came over me, but I didn't want to run anymore. I wanted to locate the sound and face it head on. Someone once told me;

_"If you put a face on your fears then you can fight it, then you can beat it."_

So that's what I tried to do. But as soon as I attempted to move, the mansion in front of me crumbled down to nothing with a thunderous sound. Rubble and dust began to fill the air around me, entering my body and coursing through my blood. I choked and started coughing, I couldn't breathe.

This is it, I thought, this is what's going to kill me. My body felt heavy and everything around me turned blurry as my legs gave way and I fell backwards onto the hard concrete. My head bounced harshly off of the ground with a sickening crack. Pain engulfed my whole entire being, every single part of me ached. Then everything went black and I jolted awake, coughing and spluttering, sweating and crying.

Again, the nightmare had woken me up this morning a few minutes before my alarm was due to go off. I went for a shower and thoroughly checked my head for any signs of injury. I was sure I'd put my hand on my head and be met with my blood but I found nothing. There were no wounds, no pain, nothing. But It felt _so_ damn real. I quickly got dressed and made my way to work, stopping on the way for a well needed coffee boost.

—

The rest of the morning passes quite quickly as it's now third period when Mr Hedshaw walks into the main office looking a little panicked and flustered.

"Ladies I need your attention please, we have a bit of a situation." His black-grey brows furrow as he speaks.

The office falls silent as everyone turns to face him, signalling him to continue.

"Now I don't want to alarm anyone but Ms Carden has alerted me that Darryl Breylin hasn't returned from a bathroom break," He glances down at his watch. "He was let out of class half an hour ago and hasn't come back." He says, wiping a drop of sweat from his head with the sleeve of his suit jacket.

Worry suddenly spreads through me. Darryl Breylin is a polite fifth year student with straight A grades. He's never once been in an ounce of trouble. He's never late and never absent. There's no chance he'd cut class.

"Now we know this is highly unusual for Darryl so we have some staff searching the premises for the time being. If he isn't located we'll need to alert his parents and the authorities."

"Please keep your eyes peeled in the event that he turns up here, or you happen to see him walk by." He instructs and we all nod.

He thanks us before leaving the office. We all share the same worried expression as we sit in silence, before Madge finally speaks up.

"This isn't like Darryl." She shakes her head and we all nod in agreement.

Another woman in the office - Delia - soon speaks up.

"Do you think this is like las-" She whispers, but is cut off by Madge.

"Delia, we can't think like that." She snaps. Everyone seems to be lost for words, but I know we're all thinking the same thing. Delia nods in understanding before turning back to face her computer, the rest of us soon follow suit.

Twenty minutes passes in complete silence, except for a few phone calls. We've all just been patiently waiting for Mr Hedshaw to return with some news.

Another half hour passes and finally Mr Hedshaw returns. We all dart our eyes to the entrance of the office. The look on his face is evident that it isn't good news.

"No sign of him." He sighs loudly, shaking his head.

"I need to alert the Child Protection Unit. Madge will you call his parents and tell them to come to the school immediately." He instructs Madge and she nods before picking up the phone.

"Kaya, will you call the police please." He asks me.

"Of course." I reply, and pick up the phone in front of me and begin dialling.

_"999, what's your emergency?"_

_"Hi there, I need the police please. I'm calling from Crystal Hills High School regarding a missing student."_

_"Could you tell me what happened please?"_

_"One of our students was given a bathroom break and never returned to class. It's highly unusual for him to just disappear and the premises have been searched and he's nowhere to be found."_

_"And how long has he been missing for?"_

_"About an hour and_ _twenty_ _minutes now."_

_"Okay. A car will be there as soon as possible."_

_"Thank you."_ I say before hanging up.

"They're on their way." I tell Mr Hedshaw, who nods and walks into the back room of the office.

I turn to face Madge and she lets out an exasperated sigh.

"They were frantic," She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Understandably." She continues.

"This is awful." I say.

"Hopefully nothing will become of this and he'll turn up soon."

"I sure hope so." I say quietly.

We all sit in silence, waiting, unable to get any work done. Mr Hedshaw comes back into the office just as I glance out of the window and see Mr & Mrs Breylin rushing towards the entrance of the school.

"They're here." I alert everyone.

Mr Hedshaw nods and makes his way to the door to let them in. He ushers them through the main office and into the back room, leaving the door slightly opened behind him. None of them make any eye contact with anyone in the room as they walk by us. Mrs Breylin's eyes are red and puffy, Mr Breylin looks devastated. I can't help but feel a cocktail of sympathy and worry and a dash of deja-vu in the pit of my stomach.

The bell has rang signalling lunch and the corridors and dining hall are now filled with students. A few minutes later the police arrive and I let them into the building and show them to the back room. I try to ignore the stares from all the wondering students as we walk by. The last thing we need is everyone panicking. It was inevitable that news of Darryl's disappearance would soon spread quickly - things spread like wildfire in this school.

I slide the glass pane at reception closed and take a seat at my desk. None of the other girls in the office have left for lunch. I don't think any of us really feel like eating.

"I'll go to the dinner hall and get some sandwiches for us." Madge stands up and leaves the office before any of us can even reply. Typical Madge with her motherly tendencies. Even if you aren't hungry she won't take no for an answer. _You need to eat something,_ she would scold.

My thoughts are interrupted by raised voices from the back room. We all fall silent as we listen to what's being said.

"No! You need to find him!" Mrs Breylin wails. "My boy won't end up like young Jacob." She cries, her voice lowering. "He won't. He can't." She sobs, and I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach.

Jacob Brixton was an eighteen year old boy who attended the school. He was a popular, well loved student with excellent grades, a lot like Darryl. It was last year, about a week before the summer holidays. We'd had a 'cake and candy' sale to raise money for the sixth years annual trip to Paris. The students had made various different cakes and sweets and brought them into school. They set up stalls for them to be sold at and parents were invited along to attend. Jacob was in charge of the cake stall and he'd started to run low, so he'd went to the school kitchen to retrieve some more.

He wasn't seen since.

News of Jacob's disappearance spread quickly that day and the school was put on lockdown as the premises were searched for him. After an hour of searching, he still wasn't found. The police arrived and a missing persons investigation was opened shortly after. CCTV cameras were thoroughly checked and not a trace of him was to be found. It was like he vanished into thin air. Months and months passed with no such luck. To this day he has never been found. His family still remain hopeful nine months later but unfortunately, the police, not so much.

All we can do now is just hope and pray that Darryl's story doesn't follow in the footsteps of Jacob's.


	4. Chapter 4

It's home time now. No one in the office really spoke much after Mr & Mrs Breylin and the Police left. Mr Hedshaw informed us that the Police were opening a high risk missing person investigation - the same thing that happened with Jacob.

I leave the office and start walking through the corridors, thankfully there are other people around. Surely I wouldn't start hallucinating in front of a crowd?

I catch sight of Zayn standing outside the janitors cupboard. His head is resting against the door and his eyes are closed. His jaw is clenched and his brows are furrowed. What's he thinking about? Should I speak to him? I'm going to be walking by him in a minute or so, but I could easily walk by without him noticing me. Although, somehow I don't want to go unnoticed.

I try to walk a little heavier to make my boots sound louder on the tiled ground, hoping to make him open his eyes but as I approach him, his eyes remain shut.

"Zayn?" No reply. Maybe he's asleep? Surely he wouldn't fall asleep standing up, leaning against a door? In the middle of the corridor?

"Zayn?" I say again as I put my hand on his shoulder and lightly shake him. I'm startled by the way his body jolts as his eyes snap open. His eyes are feral as he looks at me. That deep, intense stare is still there but he looks scared, maybe a little panicked? _Well you did just frighten the shit out of him Kaya._ His body slumps against the door when he realises it's me.

"Shit, sorry I didn't mean to startle you." I tell him, and back away slightly.

"I-It's okay." He stutters, whispering.

"Are _you_ okay?" I ask. He's like the polar opposite of the Zayn I spoke to yesterday.

"Yes. I'm fine." He straightens his back and clears his throat, his confident demeanour returning.

"Are you sure?" I can't help but ask, his body may give off the impression he's fine but his eyes certainly don't.

"I'm fine." He says again, looking down at the ground. Something is definitely off about him.

"Are you leaving just now? I could walk out with you?" I ask, and he lifts his head up to look at me again.

"Uh yeah, okay." He answers, his voice quiet again.

He closes and locks the janitors cupboard and we start walking through the corridors.

"Did you fall asleep back there?" I ask with a slight smile, hoping to lift the mood a little.

"Yeah I guess so," he manages a weak smile. "Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Same here." I say with a non-humorous laugh as I recall the hours of tossing and turning before being awoken by a nightmare.

"Not good." He says.

"Tell me about it." I agree.

We approach the exit of the building and Zayn pushes the door open and holds it for me.

"Thank you." I smile as I walk by him, the smell of his aftershave filling my nostrils. He smells good. He doesn't reply, just looks me in the eye and bows his head slightly.

We walk through the car park and I spot his car at the far end. I want to ask him about it but quite frankly that's just nosy as fuck and actually extremely weird. _Oh by the way I saw you get into an expensive car yesterday and I was just wondering how can you afford that when you work as a school janitor?_

"I'll see you tomorrow then." I look up at him.

"See you tomorrow then." He says, his eyes meeting mine. I feel like his eyes are drawing me in, trying to capture me. Like there's a little magnet inside them with a face, waving its arms about saying _come here Kaya, you know you want to._

I realise we've been looking at each other for well over ten seconds and I literally have to tear my eyes away from him before it gets creepy. Even creepier than magnets with a face and arms. I smile at him and turn around and walk towards my car.

Once I'm in the car he walks by and waves at me through the windscreen. I give him a quick wave back before putting on my seatbelt. I turn the radio on and Vance Joy fills the silence of the car. I smile and lean my head back against the car seat, closing my eyes. This song makes me happy.

_"There's this movie that I think you'll like, this guy decides to quit his job and heads to New York City..."_

As I drive out of the car park and along the street, I notice Zayn is only a few cars in front of me. He seems to be driving in the same direction as I am. I wonder where he lives? I wonder a lot of things about this guy now that I think about it. He just has one of those faces, you know?

You ever meet someone and you just want to sit down and talk to them? Like really talk the shit out of them. They just seem so damn interesting and you would probably just sit and listen to them talk about what they had for breakfast. Okay, it also kinda helps that he's attractive. Well actually that's an understatement. He's mesmerising and smouldering and mysterious all rolled into one. Not to mention his jaw line could probably slice me in half. Not that I want sliced in half or anything. And now it's weird.

I turn my attention back to the road and thank my lucky stars that I didn't cause a pile up while thinking about Zayn. I look ahead at his car and see that his left indicator is on. Oh, that's not the way I go. Oh well, guess I won't be finding out where he lives. As I glance out of the car window I realise I've subconsciously taken the same turn as Zayn and am now following his car.

_All aboard the crazy train this is your conductor, Stalker Kaya speaking. Today we'll be going on the 'where is Zayn Malik going?' tour, fasten your seat-belts ladies & gents because shit's about to get weird!_

I've been driving behind him for about ten minutes now, a safe distance behind. I feel like I need a hot shower to wash the stalker tendencies off of me. I know I'm being incredibly creepy and stalker-ish but the curiosity is literally burning away at me. _Curiosity killed the cat Kaya._

We're driving towards the edge of town, somewhere I don't recognise and I slightly panic as he takes another turn which looks to be leading up a back road, away from the hustle and bustle of Crystal Hills. The sun is setting and the darkness of the night is beginning to appear now.

 _"Just turn back and go home, this is a bad idea."_ The little white angel on my right shoulder says.

 _"You know you want to keep going Kaya, you've come this far already."_ The little red devil on my left shoulder stands there with a smug look on its face. My rational brain fails to do its job as my emotional brain takes over and presses down on the accelerator.

The road is long and winding, surrounded by miles of trees and nothing else. As I glance at my rear view mirror I see there are no cars behind me. Thankfully there are four cars in front of me, including Zayn's. I'm positive that he can't see my car from where he is, although I can see his perfectly. After driving on the long road for what seems like an hour he takes a right turn, but the cars in front of me keep going straight ahead. Shit. I check again in my rear view mirror to make sure there are still no cars behind me. I slow my car right down and I wait for a moment before I make the turn. We've turned into a deserted street. There are no houses around, only bushes at either side of the pavement. I drive forward a few yards before stopping the car immediately.

I look towards the end of the street and see Zayn's car, stopped in front of massive steel gates. He gets out of the car and holds some sort of key up against a panel at the side. The gates open slowly with a screeching sound and he gets back in the car before driving through them. My eyes follow his car until he stops and finally my eyes land on the house in front of me. I hadn't even noticed it until now. House is an understatement actually. It's a mansion. A fancy car and a fancy mansion, who the hell is this guy?

I take in the sight of the mansion in front of me, my eyes lingering slowly over it. All four stories of it. Until they hit the top floor and my heart falls into the pit of my stomach. _Steel bars over the windows._

My blood runs cold as it dawns on me that this is the mansion from my nightmare.


	5. Chapter 5

I can't seem to make any sense of my thoughts as I stare at the scene in front of me. My brain feels like it's slipped on a pair of running shoes and decided to go for a jog around my head. I don't even know what to say. I don't even know what to think. I'm confused. No, I'm beyond baffled. Why am I having nightmares about this mansion? More specifically, why _Zayn's_ mansion?

I somewhat snap back to reality and remember that my car is stopped in the middle of the road, so I pull over and turn the engine off. There still aren't any cars around and the sky seems to be getting darker by the minute. A chill runs up my spine as the view in front of me starts to resemble my nightmare more and more. I look up again at the steel bars over the windows on the top floor. There's complete darkness - as if the windows are covered from the inside, blocking out any light.

My curiosity is at an all time peak right now. I feel like barging through the front doors of this damn place and screaming _why am I dreaming about you?!_

Add talking to mansions to the already long list of reasons why I'm probably bordering on insane.

The sound of a car engine startles me out of my thoughts and I can feel my heart begin to race. I turn around to see a car driving slowly by me, up the dark and empty street. The man in the car turns his head to look at me as he passes, and I feel uncomfortable as he stares at me with a furious look on his face. He looks about fifty. He has brown, greasy-looking, slicked back hair with traces of grey in it.

I'm confused as to why he's looking at me like I'm a dog who just pissed all over his new carpet. Then it dawns on me that he must've caught me staring at the mansion - _his_ mansion I presume - and I'm probably coming off as some creepy stalker right now. Which I guess I kind of am.

Is he Zayn's dad? He stops in front of the steel gates and gets out of the car. He turns his head in my direction and that's when it hits me just what on earth I'm doing. I've just followed some guy I don't even know to his home - a mansion that I've been having nightmares about for some reason unbeknownst to me - and now I've just been caught doing so by who I presume to be the owner of this place. I feel like a child who's just been caught doing something they shouldn't have been and any minute now I'll be told off and sent to my room.

The man eventually turns away from me and presses the key against the panel to open the gates, and he gets back into his car and drives through.

I need to get out of here. _It's about damn time Kaya._

I turn the engine on and back out of the street. It's eerie how empty the surroundings of this place are. There's not a single car around and it's surrounded by miles and miles of woodland. I almost feel like a tumbleweed will make an appearance any minute. _Or an axe murderer._

As I drive up the dark, long and winding road I want to slap myself in the face for following Zayn in the first place. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach reminds me that I would have been better off not knowing about this place. _Too late now Kaya_ _. What did I say? C_ _uriosity kills the cat._

—

** Zayn's POV **

" _And the shot goes through my head and back_." I sit with my headphones on, back against the headboard of my bed. I hum along to the music, imagining in my head the different ways that I can sing this song. I've been working on putting my own spin on this cover for a few weeks now.

" _Gun shot, I can't take it back."_

Music is a release for me. When I came home from work today my whole body felt like it was in knots. A roasting hot shower seems to have relieved most of the tension and listening and feeling the music is working wonders for me.

I hear a door slam over the music and my body tenses again, all relaxation I felt before completely disappearing.

I turn the music off and quickly close my laptop and take my headphones off. I get up from my bed and lock my bedroom door, before sitting back down on the edge of my bed.

I hear his loud footsteps pound down the long hall towards my room, he's rushing. This won't end well.

_Keep walking, keep walking, walk by the door. Don't come in here._

My heart is in my mouth as he finally reaches my room and bangs harshly on the door. _Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep he'll go away._

"Zayn! You open this fucking door right now or so help me god I'll break it down!" He booms.

I take a deep breath before slowly walking over and unlocking the door. The consequences would be much worse if I didn't.

As soon as I open the door and his face is in view, I see how furious he looks. His face is an ugly shade of red and there are trickles of sweat rolling down his forehead. He looks at me with daggers in his eyes and my breath hitches as he lurches forward and wraps his hands around my neck.

"Who is she?!" He shouts. "Who the fuck is she Zayn?!" He slams me hard against the wall and pain shoots up my back as I collide with it.

I try to speak but the lack of air supply to my lungs is making it hard. He loosens his grip on my neck and I manage to let out a stifled breath.

"W-who?" I stammer.

"Don't play games with me you son of a bitch!" He grabs my collar and slams me against the wall again. "I told you not to bring anybody here!" He screams at me.

"I didn't, I-I didn't bring anyone here. I promise!" I didn't bring anyone here. I know not to do that.

He pulls me forward by the collar and throws me across the room and I hit the ground. Pain shoots through my head as it bounces harshly off the wooden floor and everything starts to go hazy.

"You ever pull a stunt like that again, it'll be the last thing you do." He spits, before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

I know I should get up and follow him and beat the shit out of him. I know I should be well rid of this goddamned house, but I have no choice. At least not for the time being.


	6. Chapter 6

There's a chill in the air today and I can feel it lingering at the nape of my neck, making the hairs there stand up. I curse to myself for only wearing a cardigan today as I enter the school doors. When I looked out of the window at the weather this morning before I left, the sun was shining and it looked warm. _Looks can be deceiving Kaya._ The sun has shifted and the sky is now a dull shade of grey.

I'm earlier than usual today. I still have about half an hour before the bell rings and students start swarming the place.

As I walk through the corridors to the main office, I shudder as I realise I'm alone again. The corridors are empty. _Deep breaths Kaya, deep breaths._ I pick up the pace a little but I soon slow down again when I hear a voice. I can't make out what they're saying - the voice is quiet - almost like a whisper. I come to the realisation that it's Zayn's voice and it's coming from the janitors cupboard.

I walk lightly towards the cupboard, as to not be heard. The door is opened but not fully. I have two options. I can walk right by and maybe peek in and see who he's speaking to. Or, I can knock the door as I walk by and _see_ who he's speaking to.

I go for option one.

I slowly walk by the cupboard, making close to little sound. I mentally pat myself on the back for not wearing my boots today. As I pass the door I glance back to see who he's talking to, but I don't see anyone there.

His back is facing me and there's nobody in the cupboard with him and from what I can see he isn't on the phone. So who is he talking to? Himself?

I turn towards the door and start to walk over. "Zayn?" I ask, not too loudly as I don't want to startle him.

He slowly turns around and his eyes meet mine. They look different. They're bright and alert, but it almost looks as though there's nobody behind them.

"Oh hey, how are you?" He asks, something seeming off about him. Like he's not himself.

"Yeah, I'm okay thanks. Uh, were you just talking to someone?" I ask and he nods.

"Just Darryl." He says.

Surely he doesn't mean...

"Darryl?" I ask.

"Darryl Breylin. He's a fifth year student here." He tells me and my stomach drops.

"B-But you couldn't have? Darryl's missing? He's not here?" I manage to choke out. He couldn't have been speaking to him. Darryl's not here. _Nobody_ is here.

He frowns and shakes his head. He looks confused, his eyes going frantic. "No, no you're wrong." He tells me, still shaking his head. "I was just speaking to him." He says adamantly.

I know for a fact that Darryl still hasn't been found, and I know that there's nobody else in the cupboard. I need to be careful with what I say here. I take a deep breath.

"Where did he go?" I ask softly, cautiously.

"He left."

"Do you know where he went?"

He shakes his head.

"I have to get back to work now." He tells me, turning around and reaching for some cleaning supplies.

"Oh, okay." I say quietly before backing away, and heading to the main office.

I'm so confused. Is he high? Is he on some sort of medication?

I arrive at the main office and see no one has arrived yet. I take this opportunity to walk through to the back room and close the door behind me. I look ahead at the filing cabinets in front of me filled with students details. My eyes drift to the far left corner, where the staff details are located. Should I? If I were to be caught looking at these files I would be in deep shit.

 _"You'll only be a second, you aren't doing anyone any harm."_ The little red devil appears on my shoulder again.

 _"Don't be so stupid Kaya! This is confidential information, this is illegal!"_ The white angel on my other shoulder scolds.

 _"Nobody's going to find out."_ My subconscious informs the little angel as I walk towards the filing cabinet.

"I, J, K, L." I whisper to myself as I flick through the files. M, here we are.

Maine, Jessica

Makinson, Leila

Makkie, Brad

Malachi, Jason

Malina, Naomi

Malinksi, Emily

No Malik. Where is he?

I flick through them again but he's definitely not here. That's weird. Even if he hasn't been here long he should still have a file. The first thing Mr Hedshaw _always_ does on the first day of a new start is make a file.

I hear voices coming from the main office and I quickly but quietly close and lock the filing cabinets.

As I walk back into the office I spot Madge and Delia.

"Morning dear." Madge smiles at the same time as Delia says "Morning Kaya."

"Morning ladies." I smile back, before sitting down at my desk.

I choose not to tell Madge about what happened with Zayn this morning. My only choice now is to get to know him more. Or I could never speak to him again and forget he ever existed. But that's far from what I want to do. Ever since I first saw him he intrigued me and honestly, he's not someone I could easily forget.

The morning passes quickly and I dismiss myself from the office at lunchtime, telling the other girls I planned to go for a walk to clear my head. I actually plan on finding Zayn to see if he wants to have lunch with me. I have a feeling he'll decline but it's worth a try, right?

I walk down to the janitors cupboard but there's no sign of him, so I head towards the staff room. I spot him in the far corner of the staff room, sitting alone. My heart sinks as I look at him, he looks so lonely just sitting there, just looking down at his hands.

I take a deep breath before walking towards him and taking a seat across from him.

"Hi." I say as cheerfully as I can.

He looks up and smiles. "Hey, what's up?" He says. Completely different from when I saw him this morning.

"Just wondering if you had plans for lunch?" I ask, silently gearing myself up for a rejection.

"Nope. No plans. Why?" He asks, looking into my eyes.

"Do you fancy going to that new café down the street?" I say and he looks a bit shocked by my proposal. "I heard their panini's are the shit." I add in my most persuasive voice and he let's out a chuckle.

"Well if they're the shit then I suppose I can't turn that down." He smiles, shrugging his shoulders.

"Good." I smile back and stand up.

"Good." He says, following suit.

We take the back way out of the school so I don't get noticed by any of the office girls. The last thing I need is their interrogation. _Ooh what's going on there then? Since when are you two close? Is this a date?_ That's only some of what they'd hit me with.

As we walk outside the sun is back out and I feel the heat instantly engulf my body. _Fucking hell Mother Nature_ _,_ _make up your mind._ I take my cardigan off and stuff it in my bag as we walk up the street towards the café.

I turn to look at Zayn and am reminded that he's wearing a heavy, grey boiler suit.

"Aren't you sweltering in that?" I laugh.

"That's an understatement." He laughs back, before unbuttoning the top half of the boiler suit, revealing a plain white t-shirt. He rolls the boiler suit down to his waist and ties the arms around it. I can't help but notice his toned body. His arms are muscular and I can clearly see abs through his t-shirt.

I quickly look away so he doesn't catch me staring at him.

We arrive at the café and he opens the door for me and I step through - I guess chivalry isn't dead after all. I'm greeted by the strong smell of freshly ground coffee as we walk past tables of people. The place is quite crowded but I spot a free seat up the back next to the window.

"Window seat, up the back." I nod towards the seat and Zayn nods back before we make our way over to it.

"It's nice in here." He says as we sit down.

"It's different isn't it? I haven't seen anywhere like this around here before."

The decor is bright and summery. It's a kind of diner-style café, but not the usual 50's look you'd expect. It's modernised, with sleek white tables and pastel lilac seats and booths. The floor is marble white and the walls are white with numerous bright paintings all around. There's a lilac coloured jukebox in the corner playing some Bruce Springsteen. I've never seen a jukebox like that before. Wouldn't mind having one of those at my place.

"Yep. Looks the part." Zayn replies. "But," he points a finger in the air, "Are their panini's the shit or was someone lying to you?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Well we'll have to wait and see, won't we?" I raise my eyebrows back at him.

"I guess we will." He smiles.

We both pick up our menus to have a look. So I'm definitely having a panini. What to have on it though? Tuna melt? I do love a good tuna melt panini. But then there's cheese & bacon. This is a hard one. Can't I just have all the fillings in it? Might taste like shit but I'm willing to take that risk.

After pondering on this decision a bit too long, I eventually decide to have a tuna melt panini and a coke.

When I look up, Zayn is staring at me with a smirk on his face. His smile is infectious and I can't stop the smile spreading on my own face.

"What?" I laugh.

"Are you quite done?" He says with a playful tone. I haven't seen this side to him before. Given I've only been around him a handful of times that's probably why.

"Excuse me, choosing panini flavours is something I take _very_ seriously." I cross my arms and give him a fake scowl.

"Oh well I do apologise. Carry on Madam." He says in a posh accent, waving his hand at me to continue.

"Thank you Sir," I respond in an equally posh accent, "but I think I'm done thinking." I say, and we both start laughing at the sheer random accents that just took over this conversation.

"So what'll it be, Greyson?" He asks after we stop laughing and there's something about the way he says my name that causes a slight flutter in my stomach.

"I think it's gonna have to be a tuna melt, and a coke." I eventually say.

"Great minds think alike." He winks - _he fucking winks -_ before standing up and going to order.

I watch him as he walks towards the counter. His back muscles flex as he walks and the short sleeves of his t-shirt tighten around his biceps. There's something about him that I can't put my finger on. He has a cool and confident aura most of the time but then there's something underneath that's just...different, unusual maybe.

A few minutes later he returns with two cokes in hand and he sits one down in front of me.

"Thank you." I smile, before taking the straw in my mouth and swallowing a massive gulp.

"Welcome." He says as he sits back down and also takes a drink.

I feel like I need to know more about what happened this morning but I don't want to overstep my boundaries. Maybe if I try and be casual about it.

"So, you said you were talking to Darryl earlier?" I ask and his brows furrow.

"Who?" He asks, looking confused.

"Darryl Breylin? You were talking to him earlier?"

"I've no idea who that is. I haven't spoken to anyone except you today." He tells me, and I suddenly feel like I don't want to push this conversation anymore.

"Oh, sorry I must've been thinking of someone else." I lie.

"It's okay." He smiles.

I clear my throat and take another drink.

"So I have a proposition for you." Zayn says.

"I'm intrigued." I nod, signalling him to continue.

"If this is the best panini I've ever had, then I'll pay."

"And if it's not?"

"Then you need to cook me one yourself."

"And who pays?" I ask.

"I'll still pay." He says and I let out a laugh.

"My panini's are top notch." I say proudly, not blowing my own trumpet or anything. But they are.

"Then I hope these panini's suck." He smiles.

"We got a deal?" He asks.

"Yes, we do." I extend my hand out and we shake on it and I ignore that flutter in my stomach as his hand touches mine.

As if on cue, the waitress arrives with a smile and sets our food down in front of us. I must say this looks delicious. The cheese is just oozing out of it the panini, and I want nothing more than to just pick the plate up and lick it all up. But I decide against that because "I'm a lady, and ladies don't do that. That is not proper etiquette." Or some shit like that.

"Here goes." Zayn says as we pick up our panini's and take the first bite.

I take a bite and immediately taste the hot cheese on my tongue. Not bad, not bad at all. It's no Kaya Greyson panini but it might be a close second. Maybe.

While we eat we talk about our favourite music. I'm actually surprised to know that we enjoy a lot of the same music, so at least now we have something to talk about.

Imagine Dragons, The 1975, The Cure, Concrete Knives, Black Light Dinner Party, Secret Company, MGMT, Kodaline, The Smiths, Vance  Joy, The Killers, Tom Odell, The Fray. The list goes on and on.

There's just something about finding someone who has the same music taste as you do. I don't really know what it is but it makes me happy. Like I've found my musical soulmate. If that's even a thing.

When we finish Zayn goes up to the counter to pay and I wait for him to return. As he walks back to the table he gives me a small nod, and I stand up and we walk out the door into the hot air.

"So what's the verdict?" I ask.

"I must say it was good, _but_ , not the best I've had."

"Ah well then it looks like I owe you a panini." I say.

"Looks like you do." He smiles, and we make our way back to school.


	7. Chapter 7

"So are you busy tomorrow?" I ask Zayn while we walk back to school.

He looks up and bites his lip, as if to recall if he has plans. "I'm free." He eventually says.

"Then how about I make you that panini?" I say.

"Sounds like a plan." He smiles.

We arrive at the school just a few minutes before the bell is due to ring to signal lunch is over. We walk up the corridors and stop outside the janitors cupboard.

"So I'll text you my address then?" I say, starting to walk away.

"Sounds good." He says and I nod before turning away from him.

"Oh, wait!" He calls. "You don't have my number." My subconscious mentally facepalms as he says the words. _Smooth Kaya, real smooth._

"Well that's helpful." I say, walking back towards him.

"Here." He says, holding his phone out to me. "Put your number in."

I take the phone from his grasp and as I do, our fingers brush together. I immediately look up at him as our fingers touch, to find he's already looking at me.

I snap out of it and type my number in and hand the phone back to him. He gives the number a quick ring - just to give me his number - before placing it back in his pocket.

"There we go." I say. "That should make things easier."

"Well now that you have my number, it _should_ make the whole texting process easier." He says, humour laced in his voice.

"Shut up." I lightly swat his arm and he does this adorable smile, with his tongue resting behind his teeth.

"Tomorrow then." I say.

"Tomorrow then." He says with a smile and a nod.

—

Thank god it's Saturday today. It's been one hell of a week. I've had the Monday blues from Monday all the way through to Friday.

I went to the supermarket last night after work to buy the stuff for the panini I'm making for Zayn. I felt like a housewife holding a dinner party, fretting about what to cook for her guests. Then I forced myself to take a chill pill because I'm making him a panini not a fucking three course michelin star meal.

I didn't see Zayn when I left work - he must've left before me because he wasn't in the janitors cupboard or the staff room.

I still have two hours before he comes over for lunch. I told him to come over around noon to give me a decent amount of time to get ready and get the food sorted.

I take a quick shower and brush my teeth before heading back into my bedroom and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. I dry my hair and shove it up in a bun so that it doesn't get in the way while I'm cooking.

I rub my pomegranate moisturiser all over my body before just lying back on top of my bed. When I come out of the shower I usually just lay about in my towel for like an hour before I actually attempt to get ready, basking in my pomegranate-smelling glory. I don't know why I do it. It's relaxing I guess. Or just pure laziness. I haven't decided which one yet.

I glance at the clock and realise I've only got about half an hour before Zayn arrives. I manage to drag myself up off the bed and I take a seat in front of the mirror to put some makeup on.

I rifle through my underwear drawer and my subconscious gives me a thumbs up when I realise I've picked out a matching bra and pants. I usually mix and match but on the rare occasions I actually wear a set, I feel more confident somehow.

I decide to put on a pair of black skinnies and my tour t-shirt from The 1975 gig. I got it when I saw them live last year and I absolutely love wearing it. I slip on my black ankle boots before standing in front of the mirror to assess my outfit. Black, black and more black. Just the way I like it.

I check the clock again to see that Zayn should be arriving any minute. I walk through to the kitchen and switch the radio on and take out the ingredients I need from the fridge.

I'm excited and also completely nervous to see Zayn. He's so different from anyone I've ever met. He's a closed book. A closed book that I want to open up and read every part of. I'm just so intrigued by him and I feel like there's so much to know. Hopefully today can maybe be the start of cracking the Zayn Malik code.

—

One hour and forty minutes.

He's an hour and forty minutes late and I'm pissed. I've been sitting here like an idiot, just waiting around for him to arrive and he doesn't even have the common courtesy to send me a text?

I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts till I land on Zayn, and press call.

Six rings in and he finally picks up, but doesn't speak.

"Zayn?"

"K-Kaya?" His voice is quiet and he sounds...pained?

"Zayn? Are you okay?"

"No." He says, his voice cracking.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"I deserved it." He says.

"Deserved what?"

"To be hurt." He whispers and I freeze, my heart dropping down to the pit of my stomach.

"Where are you just now?"

"At home."

"I'm on my way Zayn." I grab my car keys and rush out of the front door.

"I can't move Kaya, it hurts."

"Just stay put. Tell me what hurts?"

"Everything." He says quietly and the line goes dead.

"Zayn? Zayn?!" I take the phone away from my ear and look at the screen to see if he's still there but the call has ended.

What the? Who hurt him? What the hell is going on?

I have far too many questions but I put them to the back of my mind as I quickly get into my car and hope to god that I can remember the way to Zayn's house.


	8. Chapter 8

Why is it that when you're in a rush to get somewhere you get stopped at every damn traffic light? Like someone up above just _knows_ that there's somewhere you need to be, so they laugh to themselves as they strike some kind of unlucky curse on you. Just because they can.

My mind is in overdrive right now. Who hurt him? Did someone break in? How hurt is he? He sounded as though he was in some kind of trance on the phone and I just sincerely hope he's okay.

The lights finally change to green and I speed through them, close to going over the speed limit. I reach the back road and I swallow down my uneasy feelings as I drive along it. I stop at the turn in and Zayn's mansion comes into view. _That_ mansion. I park the car at the end of the street and sprint towards the metal gates. How the hell am I supposed to get in here? I glance at the panel next to it and see a small silver button so I press it and wait for a response.

"C'mon." I mumble to myself.

"Someone answer please." I start to shift on my feet, my impatience and worry growing.

"Fuck!" I shout a bit too loudly when there's no answer.

I take a step back and assess the gates in front of me. There's absolutely no way I'd be able to climb over them. Climbing was never my strong suit, and I'm petrified of heights.

I glance around to see if there's another way I can get in and that's when I see it. There's a little lane at the side of the mansion, so I walk through it and hope that I can find another entrance. There's a fence on the surrounding so I trail my hands across the panels as I walk, pushing lightly as I go to see if any of them are loose.

Jackpot. I find a loose panel and I push it with my foot so that it opens up and I'm able to squeeze through it.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the back garden as there's a massive piece of land around me and  a large shed at the back. I can't see a back door so I walk round the side until I'm at the front entrance. I knock on the door and wait for a response.

Why am I knocking the door? Obviously no one is here. Someone would've found Zayn if they were, right? Or if someone broke in, I doubt they're going to answer the door and greet me. I take a deep breath to control my nerves as I attempt to open one of the massive black doors. I cringe as it squeaks loudly and I can feel my face start to flush with embarrassment.

I slowly walk through the door and take in the scene around me. A grand staircase presents itself in the middle of the room, leading to the second floor. The ceilings are high with enchanting artwork etched into it. The floors are marble and beautiful paintings line the walls all around me. The scene around me is a total contradiction to the outside of the house.

I want to keep my mouth shut and look for Zayn silently - the last thing I want to do is bump into anyone. But on the other hand I feel completely uneasy about being here. Like you know that feeling where you're doing something you know you shouldn't be? So if someone does happen to be in here, then I'd rather not get caught snooping around like when that man caught me outside the mansion.

"Hello?" I say, somewhat loudly. I inwardly cringe again at the sound of my voice cutting through the silence.

"Zayn?" I speak a bit louder, but am only answered by silence.

"Shit." I mumble, quietly this time.

I'm in a mansion. A mansion with four floors. How on earth am I supposed to find him?

I look around me, noticing different doors and hallways and wondering where I should go first, and then it hits me. I'll phone him. Hopefully his phone isn't on silent.

I take my phone out of my pocket and press call, holding the phone away from my ear in the hope of hearing his ringtone. Music begins to play softly to the right of me, up one of the hallways. I quickly rush through the hallway, following the sound. The hallway is long and seems to be never ending. The floor is mahogany wood and there's a long, red rug in the middle of the floor with a gold fringe trim, leading the way up the hall. The walls are dark red with expensive looking paintings scattered on the walls. With every few steps I take, a small chandelier hangs above me with its crystals shining and glimmering in the light.

I get closer and closer to the sound and I realise that it's coming from the last room at the end of the hall. I wipe the thin layer of sweat from my hands on my jeans and I reach for the door handle and open the door.

And there he is.

Sitting on the hard, wooden floor, eyes closed, slowly rocking back and forth on his knees with his arms clutching his ribs.

 


	9. Chapter 9

The room is nearly silent, the only sound heard is the ever so slight scuffle of his jeans scratching against the laminate flooring he's sitting on. Although the noise is quiet, it seems to scream out against the silence of the room.

"Zayn?" I say quietly, cautious that I may startle him if I speak any louder. His eyes snap open.

"Kaya?" He blinks a few times as though he's trying to clear his vision, to make sure I'm really there. There's a roughness in his voice that sounds like it pains him to speak.

I walk over and slowly kneel down beside him and put my hand on his shoulder. He flinches, which causes a knot to tighten in my stomach.

"What happened to you?" I ask softly.

"I-I just fell down the stairs." He says, and I know he's lying.

"Do you remember speaking to me?" I ask.

A frown covers his face and he closes his eyes and shakes his head, not saying a word.

"I called you." I remind him.

"I'm sorry." he whispers, "I'm sorry I don't remember."

"Don't worry about it." I lightly squeeze his shoulder and he doesn't flinch this time.

"I..I don't know why I can't remember." He says and the picture of absolute confusion on his face somehow reminds me of a child.

"Did you hit your head when you fell down the stairs?" I ask.

"I..." he starts with a slight shrug and then gives up, evident that he can't remember.

He intakes a sharp breath.

"What hurts?"

"My ribs and my head."

"Did you land on your ribs when you fell?"

He nods.

"We should get you to the hospital, they might be broken." I suggest.

"No!" He shouts, and then doubles over in pain. The look on his face is apparent that it hurt to raise his voice like that. If I had doubted at all that he was lying about how he sustained these injuries, his reaction to going to hospital just put the doubts to bed.

"No." He lowers his voice, almost to a whisper. "I don't want to go to hospital. I just need some painkillers." He says.

"Where are they?" I stand to my feet.

"Bathroom drawer." He slightly raises his arm to point towards his en-suite.

I walk towards the mahogany door and push it open, causing the bottom of the door to drag across the floor making an uncomfortable noise that sends a shiver up my spine. I take a look at the bathroom in front of me and wow this place is big. It's not really surprising considering the size of the mansion, but I'm still shocked as I take in the view around me. It's bigger than my fucking bedroom. The floors are shiny black marble tiles with specks of glitter in them, sparkling brightly as the sunlight reflects off of them. The walls are spotless white tiles with a black glitter dado rail lined round the perimeter of the room. There's a large white bathtub in front of me with gleaming silver taps, and there's a large shower in the corner of the bathroom.

I quickly snap out of my daze as I remember what I'm in here for. I spot the drawer underneath the sink.

"Could you put some water in a glass for me too please?" Zayn calls out in a strained voice.

"Yeah sure, won't be a minute." I call back.

I open the drawer and spot the painkillers straight away and sit them on the edge of the sink, I literally have to force my eyes to not linger too long on the rest of the items in the drawer. I quickly close the drawer and pick up the glass on the sink and fill it about a quarter of the way with water from the tap, before walking back into Zayn's room.

"Here you go." I say, holding out the glass and box of tablets for Zayn to take from my grasp. My subconscious mentally slaps me in the face as I realise that if he reaches up to take these from me, it's going to hurt.

"Oh shit sorry. Here, I'll get it." I say, and Zayn smiles slightly. Almost as if it hurts too much for him to even do that.

I open the strip of pills and drop two of them into his hand. He puts one on his tongue, I hand him the glass, and he swallows. He takes the second pill and does the same.

He finishes off the water in the glass and I take it from him.

"I'll put this back in the bathroom."

"Thank you." his eyes seem to smile at me as he says it, which makes me feel a bit nice inside.

I enter the bathroom again and quickly rinse the glass out before sitting it where it was on the sink.

"My arse hurts." Zayn says with a deadly serious look on his face when I walk back into the room and before I even get to process what he said I let out some embarrassing snort, followed by laughter. His face lights up and he joins in laughing, my face turns beetroot. We both just sit there laughing and then I kind of want to kick myself for making him laugh in the first place because I know he's in pain.

"Okay, no more laughter." I say, my face turning serious. "You're hurt."

"No shit, Sherlock." He looks at me with a smirk on his face and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Enough." I say sternly, although the humorous tone is evident in my voice.

"Okay okay. I'll stop." He says, slightly lifting his hands in surrender.

"Do you want me to help you on to the bed?" I ask.

"Please."

I reach down and put one arm under his arm like a hook, and the other on his back to balance him as he tries to stand up.

"Fuck." He mutters as he inhales another sharp breath.

"It's okay, just go slowly."

I readjust his pillows and he manages slowly but surely to sit down on the bed.

"Distract me please." He asks. "Just until the medicine kicks in, I need a distraction from the pain."

"As you wish." I nod.

I rattle my brains for something to talk about that seems even _slightly_ interesting. I decide to tell him about the night of The 1975 concert.

"So, I'm a huge fan of The 1975." I tell him. "In case you hadn't noticed." I gesture down to my t-shirt and he smiles.

"I noticed. I'm a huge fan too." Of course he is, musical soulmates and all that.

"So I'm gonna tell you about the best night of my life so far." I say and he nods, signalling for me to continue.

"So last year they played at Barrowland Ballroom, were you there?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I wish, it was sold out."

"You missed an amazing night."

"So I heard." He says.

"My friends and I queued for hours before the show so we could get front row. I met so many amazing people in the queue." I smile at the memories of the friends I made that night, who are some of my best friends now.

"So when the doors opened we were first in, and we got front row. When they came on stage the lights went low and the whole place erupted into screams." My smile is absolutely massive now as I'm picturing it in my head.

" _The City_ intro started to play and the whole place went wild." The goosebumps are appearing on my skin as I recall that exact moment. "2000 people singing along, the atmosphere was incredible."

I glance over at Zayn and he's smiling lazily, his eyelids looking heavy.

"Sleepy?"

"Little bit." He mumbles.

"Close your eyes, I'll go and let you sleep." I say, starting to get up from the bed.

"Can you stay? Please? Just for a little bit." He opens his eyes fully and looks up at me and how can I say no to that face?

"Of course." I nod and he smiles again.

"Tell me another story please." He says, gesturing for me to sit back down.

"Alright." I say with a soft smile, as I sit down next to him.

I start to tell him about my sixth birthday party. It was the last birthday I got to spend with my Gran before she died. It was held in her house and she'd hired a massive bouncy castle for me and my friends. The bouncy castle was out in the garden, along with a pool, a sandpit and a ball pit. It was a hot summers day and my parents and family and friends' parents were all enjoying a barbecue, while my friends and I played in the sun. It was a six year olds dream.

As I'm blabbering on, I look round at Zayn to see his eyes fully shut, snoring ever so lightly. He looks so peaceful. It eases some of my worry to see a peaceful look on his face rather than a painful one.

My own eyelids are starting to feel heavier, so I rest my head against the pillow behind me and I close my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm awoken by the sound of the front door closing, making that horrible screeching sound. I look up to see Zayn stirring out of his sleep. He yawns and stretches his arms, before his face suddenly drops and he falls silent. His eyes widen and he gets up from the bed and presses his ear to his room door.

"Zayn?" I ask.

What is he doing?

He raises a finger to the air as if to tell me to wait a minute and he continues listening through the door.

"Shit." He mumbles to himself, barely even audible but I hear it.

He backs away from the door and turns to me, "Can we go somewhere?" He asks.

"Where?"

"Anywhere, I just need to get out of here." He looks frantic and I don't want to question him too much.

"Are you still in pain?" I ask.

"The painkillers and sleep helped, it's more of a dull ache now. It's bearable."

I glance at my watch to see how long we were sleeping for, just a couple of hours.

"Okay." I stand up and head for the bedroom door but he steps in front of it, blocking it.

"What are you doing?"

"We need to sneak out." He says.

"Why? Who just came in?"

"It was my uncle."

"What, he doesn't like visitors?" I laugh slightly, then I remember the man who caught me staring at the mansion the other day. He must be his uncle, he definitely doesn't look like he likes visitors.

"Something like that." He says and I nod, not wanting to push it.

He opens the door quietly and tells me to step out of the room. I walk out into the hall and he follows behind me, closing the door carefully behind him. Zayn takes his shoes off and signals me to do the same. As we walk up the hall in our socks, holding our shoes in our hands, I feel like I'm robbing a bank or something.

"Wait," I whisper to Zayn. "How are we gonna get out of here quietly? That door's like a fucking foghorn." I say and he chuckles, covering his mouth to silence himself.

"There's a way out in the laundry." He whispers back.

"Sounds interesting." I say raising my eyebrow, and he shushes me. _Well then._

I follow him down another hallway until we reach the last door and he opens it slowly. There's stairs leading down into the room, it must be the basement. We step on to the top of the stairs and put our shoes back on. He then quietly closes the door behind us, surrounding us in darkness.

I take a step forward and I'm now right behind Zayn, our bodies almost touching.

"Is there a light in here?" I ask, slightly beginning to panic.

"No it's busted." He says and my body immediately tenses.

He must feel the tension of my body behind his, because he reaches his hand out behind him and puts it on my forearm. "Here," he says, sliding it down to my hand. "Take my hand." He puts his hand into mine so they're now entangled.

"There's no railing, so just hold on to me." He says.

"Okay." I put my other hand on the bottom of his back, careful not to lean too hard because of his ribs. The other hand is being guided by Zayn as we go step by step down the stairs.

As we get to the bottom of the stairs the room is still complete darkness, although there's a faint light at the far end.

"This way." He says, still holding my hand and guiding me towards the light.

We stop walking and I take a look in front of me. The light is coming from a window, but there's stuff in front of it, blocking it - it looks like a massive chest with an empty bookshelf on top.

"Okay, I need to move this." He says, before he bends down to try and lift it.

"Wait, I'll help." I say, bending down to lift the other end. "You shouldn't be doing this in the first place, you're hurt."

"I can manage." He assures me.

We take an end of the chest each and lift it away from the window. The daylight comes into view and brightens up the room immediately. The window is located at the bottom of the wall and looks big enough for us to climb out of.

He unlocks it and pushes it out, allowing well needed fresh air to travel through the stuffy room.

"You go first." He says, putting his hand on the bottom of my back and gently pushing me forward.

I sit down on the laundry floor and scoot forward to the edge of the window, letting my feet dangle. I push myself forward and my feet hit the grass, and I pull the rest of my body out.

I turn around and wait for Zayn to do the same. He has to go a bit slower due to his ribs but he manages to get out without hurting himself. He closes the window behind him and I take this opportunity to see where we are. We're standing in a grassy lane at the side of the house with a brick wall surrounding it.

Zayn starts walking up the lane and I follow behind him.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"You'll see." He smiles, he does that _tongue behind his teeth_ smile again and I literally have to turn my face away so he doesn't glimpse the stupid smile appearing on my own face.

We walk for a few minutes round the side of the mansion until we're at the back garden. It's absolutely massive. There's miles and miles of grass surrounded by a small forest. We walk through the grass towards the forest and at this moment I'm very thankful that it's daylight. You won't find me traipsing through a forest in the pitch black that's for damn sure.

We enter the forest and Zayn leads the way down a pebbled path. As we're walking - pebbles crunching underfoot - I take in the breathtaking sight around me. I'm not a "nature buff" by any means, but there's just something about being in the open air like this. It's absolutely beautiful. The sky is a piercing shade of blue and there's not a single cloud in the sky. The sun is beating down but a slight breeze lingers in the air, feeling light and refreshing against my skin.

We walk for a few more seconds until a beautiful lake comes into view, glimmering in the sunlight. I stand there in complete silence, watching the endless ripples of the clear, sparkling water go by. The only sounds heard are the distant singing of birds and the water lapping by in small waves. There's a serenity in these surroundings and it makes me feel so relaxed. I turn around to see Zayn looking at me.

"You like?" He asks, smiling.

"This is amazing." I say.

He sits down on a patch of grass and signals for me to sit down beside him. I take a seat next to him and we both just sit in a comfortable silence, enjoying the radiant picture in front of us.

"I come here whenever I just need time to myself." Zayn breaks the silence.

"It relaxes me." He adds.

"That must be amazing, having this right in your back garden."

"It is. It's my little secret," he smiles again, "well, until now." He says, still smiling.

"I'm glad you brought me here." I return the smile.

"I'm glad I did too."


	11. Chapter 11

We watch on as the sun falls down with a certain elegance. Lowering down slowly as if bowing its head, thanking everyone for watching its stunning transformation. It turns the surrounding sky a mixture of yellow and orange, with a darkened undertone.

I glance over at Zayn to see him watching the sunset with content, the fading sunlight glinting in his hazel eyes. He turns his face to me and catches me staring, but this time I don't turn away. We stare each other out, not saying a word. As if we've both just silently entered a staring competition. But as I look into his eyes I realise there's something I've subconsciously noticed about Zayn. He might not be a man of many words, but his eyes seem to say much more than his words ever could.

"You blinked." He says, a smile slowly creeping across his face.

"I did not!" I say. Okay so maybe I did, but I was too busy reading his eyes to pay attention to our little game.

"Don't be a sore loser now, Greyson." He smirks.

"Would I ever?"

"You tell me."

"Never." I smile.

He glances down at his phone before looking at me again. "It's just passed five-thirty, you hungry?" He asks.

Just as he asks my stomach makes a low grumble, as if answering the question for me.

"I guess that's a yes."

"I guess so."

"C'mon." He says, standing up and wiping the grass from the back of his jeans, before stretching out his arms to pull me up.

"Thanks." I say wiping the grass from my jeans, repeating the action Zayn did moments ago.

"Welcome." He smiles.

The night has nearly fallen completely into darkness, but the moonlight mirrors over the lake bringing just enough light to see. The birds from earlier must have called it a night as the only thing heard now is the quiet ripple of waves. It's relaxing and peaceful to say the least. It's like straight from one of those tapes or CDs you'd get to help you sleep at night.

"So, I know a place." Zayn says.

"Oh you know a place, do you?"

"I do." He nods.

"And what does this place entail?" I ask.

"The best food you'll ever taste."

"Now that's a bold statement, Malik."

"I don't make bold statements I don't mean." He tilts his head slightly.

"If you say so."

He starts to walk towards the exit of the forest but then he turns back, almost as if he forgot something. He walks over to me and takes one of his hands in mine, looking up at me. And just by looking at his eyes, I know he remembers how uneasy I felt when we were in the dark basement.

"It's dark." He says, confirming my thoughts.

He leads the way, his hand in mine, with me right behind. And somehow I don't care anymore about walking through a dark forest, because in this moment I feel a sense of safety.

We make it out of the forest and through the garden, back into the lane we were in earlier. Zayn still keeps a hold of my hand and I can't help but feel a slight warmth in my heart at the gesture. We keep walking round the side of the house until we get to the fence I came through today. Zayn releases my hand and bends down to pull up the loose panel, holding it to let me through. I don't mention the fact I already knew this was here as I duck down and push myself through it. Zayn follows behind me and we start to walk up the lane towards my car.

"So if I give you directions, will you be able to follow them okay?" Zayn asks.

"I'm sure I can manage that." I say.

We get into my car and I switch on the radio and back out of the empty street.

"Okay so instead of going up the back road, go in the opposite direction." He says and I nod, following his instructions.

"At the end of this road take the first right." He says as we drive up another long and winding road.

The sound of Ed Sheeran fills the car, along with my stomach literally speaking to me. Feed me Kaya, I'm sure it just said.

I get to the end of the road and take a right, and a building with a small car park outside comes into view.

"Holy shit, no way." I say shocked, a smile appearing on my face as I drive into the car park and realise where we are.

"Way." Zayn says.

"A saloon?! I didn't even know this was here, I've always wanted to go to one." I say and he laughs.

"Why, so you could dance on a bar?"

"Yes obviously. Why else?"

"They also happen to have the best food around for miles."

"Even better than the panini we had yesterday?"

"Oh, so much better."

"Well lead the way." I stick my arm out, gesturing for Zayn to enter the saloon and he walks towards it, me following behind.

The doors are a wooden louvre style, painted a deep shade of red. Zayn walks through one of them, holding it opened for me as I walk through. He releases the door and it squeaks lightly as it swings back and forth.

This is exactly how I pictured a saloon. Everything is brown and wooden style. From the floor to the walls, to the tables and seats and to the bar. The place is crowded, voices chatting and music playing surges through the room. As I glance at the back of the room I spot a small stage.

"This way." Zayn says, heading towards a booth. I follow him and we sit down at a booth near the stage. The table is wooden but the booth seats are red leather, rather comfy actually.

"This place is amazing." I say, I'm still somewhat shocked that I'm here. I'd always seen places like this in films but I had no idea there was one anywhere near me. The atmosphere in here is happy and energetic and I can't help but feel at ease.

"I had a feeling you'd like it."

"So what do you recommend to eat?" I say, picking up the menu in front of me and scanning over it.

"The spicy chicken burger with cheesy chips." He says proudly.

"That does sound good." Good might be an understatement. I'm nearly drooling at the thought of it.

"It's settled then." He smiles.

The waitress walks over to our table suited and booted in attire you'd expect in a place like this - denim shorts with a black tank top and cowboy boots.

"Hi, what can I get you two?" She smiles.

"Two spicy chicken burgers with cheesy chips please." Zayn says. "And two cokes." He adds.

The waitress jots our orders onto her small notepad. "Okay dokey, shouldn't be too long." She smiles and walks away.

"So is this like a karaoke bar or something too?" I ask Zayn, nodding my head towards the stage.

"They do an open mic night every Saturday."

"Do you sing?"

"Sometimes." He says and I can't help but let my mind wander to what his singing voice would sound like. If it's anything like his speaking voice then I know it'll be good.

"Will you sing tonight?"

"Only if you sing with me." He says, smirking, as if he's devising a little plan in his head.

"I don't really sing." I say. I mean, I sing in the shower but that's about it. I can hold a tune but I wouldn't say I was exceptional or anything.

"Looks like you won't be hearing me sing then."

I give him a fake scowl before answering.

"Okay. I'll sing with you. On one condition." I tell him.

"And what's that?" He asks.

"You're gonna have to get me drunk first."

I watch as a smile spreads across his face. "That can be arranged." He says.


	12. Chapter 12

I feel like my taste buds have hopped on a plane to food heaven and are having a little party in my mouth. Zayn was right when he said this was the best food place for miles.

"Enjoying that?" Zayn says, smiling at me.

"Why did I not know about this place? It's actually amazing."

"You have a little something there." He laughs, pointing to his cheek indicating where on my face the little something is.

"A cheek?"

"A _mayo_ cheek." He says.

"That's actually there on purpose, keeping it for later." I tell him.

"Oh you're a genius, why didn't I think of that?"

I shrug. "Just the fantastic mind of Kaya Greyson I guess."

He laughs and I pick up my napkin and wipe the mayonnaise off of my cheek.

"All better?" I ask.

"All better." He nods.

We both finish off our chips before leaning back against the booth seat with our hands over our satisfied bellies.

"That was amazing. Good call." I raise my hand towards Zayn and we fist bump.

"Told you." He smiles. He really needs to stop having such a nice smile, it's distracting.

"I'll need to wait a bit before having a drink or I'll be sick." I say and he nods.

"Same here."

The waitress comes over to take away our now empty plates and Zayn pays the bill. _He wouldn't take no for an answer._

"Let's play a game." Zayn says.

"What kinda game?"

"It's like a guessing game. You choose someone in the bar, and you try and guess their story."

"Sounds intriguing. You go first." I say.

"Okay." His eyes scan slowly around the room until he spots a man sitting alone in the far corner, drinking a pint. He looks to be about fifty and there's an evident sad look on his face.

"So, he's just had an argument with his wife." Zayn says.

"And what was the argument about?" I ask.

"He's been working late a lot and his wife thinks he's being unfaithful."

"And is he?"

"Nope. They're getting older now, he wants to save as much money as possible so he can treat her."

"But she thinks he's cheating?"

"Precisely."

"So wouldn't he just tell her the truth? That he's working for more money to treat her?"

"He wants it to be a surprise."

"But if it's causing problems between them?"

"He realises now he made a mistake by just walking out and not telling her the truth, that's why he looks so sad."

"So he should just leave now then and go tell her." I say.

"He's too far gone now, that's his fifth pint."

"You're good, Malik." I say, leaning back into the red leather and narrowing my eyes at him.

"Your turn." He says, shrugging modestly.

"Alright." I say, eyes scanning the room. Who looks interesting? Ah, bingo.

"Those two." I say, nodding my head towards a woman and a younger man at a table near the front door.

She looks about thirty-five with long blonde wavy hair down her back, her skin is a gorgeous shade of golden brown - as if she's just spent a week in the Bahamas. She's beautiful really. She's wearing a tight red dress that her boobs are practically spilling out of. But hey, _if you've got it, flaunt it_. I look at the boy across from her, his blonde hair is styled up in a quiff. He looks no older than eighteen, dressed in grey trousers and a white shirt with a grey waistcoat, and a grey suit jacket slung behind the back of his chair.

"She's his teacher." I say, and Zayn looks at me like I'm absolutely ridiculous.

"No way."

"Yes way." I tell him. "They're seeing each other in secret. Obviously due to their ages and the fact she's his teacher." Zayn still shakes his head.

"Look at the way they're looking at each other, it's obvious." Zayn looks at them again and his eyes soften.

"Okay, go on." He says.

"She's his art teacher. From the moment they first met there was an instant connection. Both of them tried to fight it but it was inevitable that they'd get together. You can't deny chemistry."

"They know that it's wrong but you can't help how you feel." I continue.

"That's true." He says, his eyes meeting mine.

"They meet up secretly usually but this time it's different. They're from out of town so nobody knows them here." I add.

"Tonight they're having a nice meal then they're going to go to a hotel and, well, you can guess the rest."

As I say the words the boy reaches forward and takes the woman's hand in his, confirming that they are together. Well played, Kaya.

"Well fuck. Nice one." Zayn looks at me appraisingly and I smile and bow my head.

"Drink time?" I ask and he nods.

"What should we get?"

"Well, I don't know about you but I want to get drunk pretty quickly so we're ready by the time the open mic night starts." Zayn says and as if on cue, a woman emerges from behind the bar and walks up to the stage.

"Ladies and gents, welcome to Hal's open mic night." She says into the mic and cheers sweep through the room.

"Now I wanna see all of you up here singing your asses off, regardless of whether you can sing or not!" She smiles.

"Write your name and the song you want on a piece of paper," she points to the table next to her with paper and pens on it, "and then crumple it up and put it in this hat." She points to a hat on the table.

"We'll pick people at random out of the hat, do we all understand?" She asks and everyone cheers again.

She nods her head before stepping off of the stage and back behind the bar. People immediately start leaving their seats to go get paper from the stage.

"Okay, shots will get us drunk the quickest." I say to Zayn.

"Shots it is." He says and we walk up to the bar. The bar is crowded but the barmaid serves us straightaway. Probably because Zayn looks like Zayn.

"Jägerbombs?" He asks.

"Sure." I say, and he asks the barmaid for two shots.

She hands us the quarter filled glass of Redbull with the shot of Jäger in it. He pays her and we raise our glasses to toast because, why not?

"To getting absolutely pissed." Zayn says, glass raised.

"To getting absolutely pissed _and_ singing our asses off."

"Sláinte." We both say, clinking our glasses together and downing the drink.

The ice cold jäger hits my tongue first, tasting like black liquorice. But the Red Bull blends together perfectly with it - its sweet fizz flavour balancing out the bitter taste. It slides down my throat with ease and I lick my lips as I sit the empty glass down on the bar.

"Another?" Zayn says.

"Go for it." I smile. "My round though."

He completely ignores me and asks the bartender for another two shots, handing her the money. I give him a glare and he blows a kiss at me. All is forgiven.

We look each other in the eye and make a silent agreement to down the next shot. This one goes down easier than the first, swimming faster to my head now.

"Okay, one more for now." I say and he nods, calling to the barmaid again - who looks a bit pissed at us but _excuse me, we're basically paying your wages so stop growling at me or you can shove your tip up your arse._

"3, 2, 1." Zayn says, and the third round of shots are downed.

I definitely feel it now. This drink won the race, travelling to my head in record time. This shit is lethal. I feel light and airy and my mood is instantly lifted.

"That does it." I say.

"It does indeed." Zayn smiles.

"I'll get the karaoke book and you get the paper." I instruct Zayn and he nods.

We walk towards the stage and I pick up the plastic folder while Zayn picks up paper and a pen. We walk back over to our booth and take a seat.

"Well we both have the same music taste so it shouldn't be too hard to choose." I say, opening the karaoke book and scanning through it.

"Do we want slow and kinda sad? Or do we want upbeat and fun?" He asks.

"Why don't we start with a slow one and then we'll do a fast one?"

"Okay."

"How about..." I slide my finger down the page until I come across a song I like, "Gavin Degraw?" I ask.

"Which one?" He asks.

"Soldier." I tell him and he seems to be thinking it over in his head.

"Okay, yeah, that's a good choice." He jots down our names and song choice on the paper and walks up to the stage to put them in the hat.

"So we'll need another drink while we wait." He says, standing up next to our booth. "What's your poison Madam?" He asks in that posh accent again.

"Strawberry daiquiri please Sir." I reply with the same accent and I have absolutely no idea why we do this but I like it.

"Coming right up." He turns on his heel and heads toward the bar again and I take this time to just admire him. He has black skinny jeans on and a white t-shirt with black sleeves. Something is written in red writing across his t-shirt but I haven't noticed what it is yet. He's wearing black vans and a black beanie and I must say, he pulls off that look spectacularly.

He brings back the drinks and sits the red slush drink in front of me. It's in a hurricane glass with one of those twirly straws and little pink umbrellas in it. It looks so good. I take a sip through the straw and _wow_. Do you ever get a really strong craving for something? And then you finally get it and it just feels so good to have fulfilled that craving? I'm having one of those moments.

"What'd you get?" I ask Zayn, after I've stopped drooling over my drink.

"Jack and Coke." He raises his glass to me.

"Nice." We clink our glasses once again.

"So now we wait." He says, with a quick raise of his eyebrows.

"So now we wait." I say, peering up at him over my daiquiri. 

—

About half an hour and another two drinks have passed as Zayn and I have been chatting away about absolutely nothing. Do you ever meet someone that you can do that with? You can just sit and talk about the piece of fluff on your jumper or _oh look at that stone on the ground_ and it's just fine, it just _works_.

Numerous singers have gone up to the stage and performed, but Zayn and I haven't been picked yet.

"Kaya and Zayn, you're up." The woman says through the mic, reading from a piece of paper. That was weird.

We give each other an excited look before making our way up to the stage. Normally I'd be nervous but due to the alcohol in my system, I'm ready to tear this fucking stage apart. Well, as much as you can tear a stage apart singing Gavin Degraw.

We're handed a mic each and there's two stools beside each other in front of a TV screen, where we both sit down.

The music begins to play and the words appear on screen, and Zayn and I share a look, wishing each other good luck with our eyes. And that's when everything turns a bit surreal.

I feel as if I've just floated out of my body and taken a seat in the audience. I did not expect him to sound as good as he does. He hits every single note, never missing a single beat. And I'm not sure if this is due to the alcohol or not but I don't want him to stop. I want him to sing and sing and sing because a voice like his should never go to waste. Before I know it, the song has finished and the crowd erupts into claps and cheers.

I look to Zayn and his smile is so fucking big - crinkled eyes and all - and it warms my heart. He throws his arms around my neck and takes me in an embrace. I wrap my arms around his torso and return the hug.

"You were amazing Kaya." He breathes into my ear.

"Are you kidding?" I say, leaning back slightly.

"No, your voice is amazing." He says.

"You, y-you..." I can't even form a coherent sentence I'm in that much shock.

We're still standing on the stage, all eyes on us, when Zayn puts his arm on my lower back and guides me back to our booth.

"I had no idea you had a voice like that Zayn." I manage to say, even though it's kind of a lie - on some level I knew he'd have an amazing singing voice due to his speaking voice.

A slight blush sweeps his cheeks, "I'm not that good." He says.

"Are you kidding? You have serious talent Zayn."

"I don't think so." He lowers his eyes to look at his hands. He doesn't think he's good, and that hurts me probably more than it should.

"I'm gonna keep telling you how good you are until you believe it." I say, and I'm deadly serious. I'll tell him over and over and over again until he knows it's true.

"Could we go outside for a minute?" Zayn asks, looking slightly flushed.

"Yeah sure, are you okay?" I say, standing up.

"Yeah I'm just a little bit warm." He says, following me out the louvre doors and into the car park.

The cool air hits us immediately and I never even realised how much I needed fresh air until now.

Zayn leans against the granite wall outside the pub, eyes closed, head back, letting out a loud breath.

"Hey, are you okay?" I walk over so I'm now standing right in front of him.

He opens his eyes and looks at me and I swear the way he looks at me makes my stomach flip. It's like he's not just looking at me, more like he's really _seeing_ me. He's seeing what I'm all about and who I am and maybe that should make me feel a bit vulnerable but it doesn't. Because that's exactly how I'm seeing him too.

He lifts his hand to my cheek and lightly begins to caress it, never removing his eyes from me. His soft hands ignite that spark inside me that's been simmering away on a low heat all night. He's not saying a thing, but he doesn't need to - because his eyes will always say much more than he ever could.

He slowly lifts my chin, so our noses are now touching and I feel the warmth of his breath on my lips. I feel like my heart is racing a million miles per second as he parts his lips and connects them with mine.

Everything around me has just kind of disintegrated and it's just us, here, in this moment. The alcohol begun to wear off after we sang together, and I'm quite thankful for that because I want to remember every part of this.

After a few seconds we pull back for a well needed breath and he backs into the wall.

"Shit. I'm sorry." He says, running a hand through his hair.

"What? Why?" I ask, confused.

"I didn't mean to do that." He says and a sting of rejection courses through my body.

"Oh." I say, taking a step back from him because the air around me has suddenly become too stuffy to handle.

"Fuck, no, I didn't mean that." He steps forward and takes one of my hands.

"I just meant like, I shouldn't have just came at you like that." He says.

"I just-I wanted to kiss you, okay?" He runs a hand through his hair again.

"That sounds weird." He says, sounding frustrated but also slightly nervous.

"You wanted to kiss me?" I ask, a smile twitching at the corners of my lips.

"Yes." He says.

"I want to kiss you now." He adds, quieter this time.

I'm now grinning like one of those stupid cheshire cats and I can't seem to shift it. Not that I even want to.

"So do it." I tell him and his lips are immediately on mine again.

—

_Hashtag Zaya, who ships it?_

_Can I ask you all to pretty please vote if you like this story and maybe leave me some comments telling me what you think? I absolutely love reading people's comments :) anyway, hope you're all good!_

_-S x_


	13. Chapter 13

I'm outside the saloon, perched on the gravel, well because I needed somewhere to sit and there are no seats around and why not. Zayn's in the loo. Now that I think about it, there should definitely be seats out here. Maybe I'll write a letter to the owner.

Dear owner of Hal's Saloon (presumably Hal),

I'd like to write a complaint regarding the fact that there are no seats outside your pub. Where do you propose one sits while waiting on a taxi? The gravel just does not cut it. Maybe put some sand there instead. Or grass. Or a rug. Or some seats.

Any of the above would be fine.

Yours sincerely, Kaya Greyson.

I always did have a knack for writing good letters.

I hate to have to leave my car here but neither of us are in any fit state to drive home.

"This is uncomfortable." I say to Zayn with a screwed up face as he comes back outside from the toilet.

"Gravel isn't really designed for comfort." He laughs.

"Oh really? I thought it was specifically designed for just that?" I say.

"Only in some places."

"Interesting, you learn something new everyday."

"Come here." Zayn sits down next to me, opens his arms out, and gestures for me to sit on his lap.

"You kidding?" I say.

"I'm a lot comfier than the ground, I promise."

"If you say so." I get up and wipe the gravel from the back of my jeans and walk towards Zayn. He stretches his arms out and takes my hands - balancing me down onto his lap.

"If I'm too heavy just tell me and I'll move okay?" I tell him.

"You're light as a feather." He says, wrapping his arms around my stomach.

"Not quite that light." I say.

"Are you ticklish?" Zayn asks.

"No." I lie.

"Really?" A grin spreads across his face. "What if I do this?" He lightly squeezes his hands on either side of my stomach and I start squirming and laughing like an idiot.

"Zayn! Stop it!" I manage to squeal in between laughs.

"You lied to me Greyson." Zayn says, trying to keep a straight face as he continues to squeeze at my stomach and ribs.

"We look like a pair of twats." I say, still laughing like an idiot.

"We are a pair of twats." He says.

"Speak for yourself." I scoff.

"You're sitting on my lap in the middle of a car park, laughing and squirming, you look like just as much of a twat as I do." He laughs, arms tightening around my waist.

I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scents - the freshly washed smell of his t-shirt, and the smell of his subtle aftershave with a hint of alcohol. The softness of his t-shirt feels comforting against my skin.

"Okay, then we're both twats." I say, slightly muffled as my face is nestled in his neck.

"Then we're both twats." He repeats softly and I can feel him nodding his head.

I'm suddenly conscious of the fact that he hurt his ribs earlier today and I sit up quickly.

"Your ribs." I say, "are they still hurting?"

"They're fine, I can't feel any pain." He says, and I instantly relax.

He pulls me back into him and I lay my head on his shoulder.

All too soon a car horn beeps and we're snapped out of our little embrace. Damn taxi driver. I groan as I remove myself from the warmth of his arms and force myself up. I stretch my hands out to Zayn to help him up.

"Where are we going?" He asks as we walk towards the taxi.

"Mines?" I suggest and he nods.

He holds the taxi door opened for me and lets me go in first.

"Rosewood Drive please." I tell the taxi driver as Zayn gets in and closes the door behind him.

The taxi driver grumbles something under his breath about grrr..damn kids these days..grrr..public affection..no consideration..grrr, and starts the car.

And there goes your tip, you rude old fuck.

The drive to mine was quicker than I thought it would be and was spent in a comfortable silence, Zayn and I only sharing a few glances now and then. We grudgingly pay the taxi driver and step out of the car.

"Lead the way." Zayn gestures towards the front door and I go ahead and unlock it and let us in.

"What time is it?" I ask Zayn as we take our shoes off at the door.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and glances at it. "It's just passed 2am." He tells me.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask, walking towards the kitchen and gesturing him to follow.

"Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?"

"Whatever you want. I'm going with a glass of vino though." I tell him.

"That's fine by me." He says with a smile as we walk through the kitchen door.

I take two wine glasses out of the cupboard and crack open a bottle of Rosé and pour us a drink.

"Here you go." I hand him the glass of wine and sit across from him at the kitchen table.

"Thank you." He says.

As I sit my glass down I realise the ingredients for the panini's are still laid out on the table from this morning. It seems like days ago I went to Zayn's even though it was only this afternoon. Well, technically it was yesterday afternoon because it's in the early hours of Sunday morning now.

"Was someone hungry?" Zayn laughs as he spots the ingredients.

"That was for our panini's." I say, standing up and beginning to put the ingredients back into the fridge.

"What?" Zayn asks.

"Our panini's." I say again, my back facing him as I continue putting the ingredients onto the fridge shelves.

"What are you talking about?"

I close the fridge and turn around to look at him, he's looking at me like I have three heads.

"Remember I said I'd make you a panini today?" I say, walking closer to him, trying to read the look on his face.

"But you fell down the stairs, so I came over?" I add.

He lowers his head and closes his eyes and mumbles something.

"Zayn?"

He starts to rub his temples with the palm of his hands. I kneel down on the floor so I'm just below eye level with him. I put a hand on his arm and pull it lightly until he looks at me.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah I just-my head hurts." He says, finally looking at me. He removes his arm from my grasp and starts to rub his temples again, exhaling sharply.

"Do you want some paracetamol?"

"Please." He says, as he starts to stand up. I walk over to the cupboard to grab a glass but glance over my shoulder at him as I do. His face has paled significantly and he's begun to break into a sweat. His head is bowed down and his eyes are closing and opening as if he's struggling to stay awake.

I immediately rush over to him. "Zayn, hey, look at me." I say, hands on either side of his face, forcing his head up to look at me. His eyes snap open and he looks me in the eye. The hazel of his eyes have turned darker somehow.

"Zayn, I need you to keep your eyes opened for me okay?" I instruct and he slightly nods. "Come on, we need to lie you down." I say, throwing one of his arms around me, my other arm around his torso trying to steady him.

I cringe as I realise I've pressed too hard on his ribs and it probably hurt him.

I manage to get him out of the kitchen but as we walk up the hall his body starts to feel heavier against mine, indicating he's losing the ability to hold his own weight.

"Zayn, come on we're nearly there I need you to stay awake." I tell him.

I glance at him just as his eyes fully close and his body falls to the ground like a ton of bricks, pulling me down with him.

"Zayn!" I shout, the panic coursing through my body. I bend down beside him and begin shaking him lightly. "Zayn! Wake up!" I scream to his unresponsive body. This isn't happening.

I roll him onto his side and put the back of my hand on to his face, feeling his temperature. His face is warm and slick with sweat.

My usual calm exterior has cracked and shattered to a million pieces in front of my eyes and is now lying in a mess before me. My hands are shaking and the knot in my stomach is tightening with every second that passes.

I eventually snap out of the panic induced daze I'm in and scramble to find the phone.

Zayn's POV

I think we're in the hall. She's trying to get me to the couch but my body is slowing down. It's beginning to stop working. Everything is going hazy around me and I can feel my muscles loosening. She's trying to speak to me but the words aren't reaching my brain. They're muffled and incomprehensible, just swirling around aimlessly in the air begging for entrance to my body. A ringing sound begins to pierce my ears, overtaking the sound of her muffled voice. I want to put my hands over my ears to silence it but my body won't work. It's slipping away and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

My body suddenly feels light and I know that I'm falling. Everything around me is slowly transitioning from grey to black and I feel like how I imagine a feather to feel - slowly hovering through the air, falling to the ground. I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness and the last thing I hear before it fully covers me is Kaya screaming my name.

—

I'm trying not to be annoying with authors notes but I can't resist soz. Hope you're all liking the newly edited chapters, remember to vote and let me know what you think in the comments!

-S x

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Zayn's POV**

I can feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness as my body is lifted onto what I assume is a stretcher. I can't open my eyes, I'm trying so hard but they just won't open. I'm tired. I want to speak and tell Kaya that I'm okay - that I'll be okay, but I can't. Why isn't my body responding to me? Why isn't it doing what it's told? I want to feel angry that my body isn't working but I'm incapable of feeling such an emotion right now. My body is lifted and then lowered again. I can hear sirens, I think. There's voices around me but I can't make out what they're saying. Suddenly my body is jolting and shaking and I think we're driving over speed bumps. I feel a hand grip my own hand tightly. Then the darkness clouds my mind again.

—

**Kaya's POV**

Seven minutes.

Seven minutes I've been staring at this clock on the wall, hoping the time will pass by quicker. But it only seems to go slower - mocking me with every second that passes that I still haven't heard from the doctor.

The smell of antiseptic clouds the waiting room along with that indescribable hospital smell. The overbearing perfume of the woman next to me is too much to handle, I can actually feel it clinging to my lungs with every breath I take. I exhale sharply before standing up and walking over to the opened window of the room, trying to breathe in some fresh air from outside. The sky is dark and dull and the streets are empty except for a few people outside smoking cigarettes. I glance at my phone to check the time. 2:43am. I slump down in the seat next to the window and take a look around.

It's in the early hours of Sunday morning and I'm not surprised by how busy the waiting room is. There's a mixture of people here, but mostly drunken people who've injured themselves on a night out.

The paramedics wouldn't let me go with Zayn as we entered the hospital, I was ushered to the waiting room and told to take a seat.

It's been about twenty minutes now and with every minute that passes I feel even more nauseous. I feel like if I dare to speak all of the panic and worry will just pour out of my mouth all over this damn room.

I don't even know any of Zayn's family so I can't let them know what's happened. I only know of his uncle and I don't have a number for him. Although I don't even know how comfortable I would feel about calling him, and I have a feeling Zayn wouldn't even want me to call him.

I stand up and begin pacing back and forth in front of the waiting room doors. I can't stay still any longer. My mind is in overdrive with worry and I need to try and calm myself down before I end up in a hospital bed myself.

"Kaya Greyson?" A doctor calls into the crowd of the waiting room and I immediately rush towards him.

"Hi, I'm Kaya. Is Zayn okay? Can I see him?" I ramble.

"He'll be fine, if you just follow me I can show you where he is. He's asking for you." The doctor tells me, which makes my heart flip a bit.

"Okay." I say.

We walk to the end of the corridor and into a room on the left. The worry and panic lifts from my shoulders and dissolves from my stomach as I notice all the colour is back in Zayns face and he looks normal again, just tired. He smiles up at me as I enter the room.

"Thanks Doctor Murray." Zayn says to the doctor with a look in his eye that I can't distinguish, and the doctor just nods before leaving the room.

I take a seat next to his bed.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Doctor said I collapsed from dehydration." He says in a groggy voice.

"You're okay though?" I ask, and he nods.

"You scared me, you twat." I say and a smile slowly spreads across his face.

He starts to cough, so I get up to go out to the water fountain in the corridor to get him a drink.

"Back in a sec." I tell him.

"Thank you." He says.

—

I am absolutely drained. It's now 4:46am, Sunday morning still, as we walk through my front door. I just feel like curling up on this floor and going to sleep. The floor does look nice. It would make an acceptable bed.

Zayn was released from hospital and told to get plenty of rest and fluids, he told me that he didn't want to have to deal with his uncle questioning him, so I invited him back here.

"Just go into the living room and I'll go get you a drink." I tell Zayn and he nods.

I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room with a bottle of water under my arm, a glass of milk in one hand, a packet of cookies under my other arm and a big bag of tortilla chips in the other hand. Zayn raises his eyebrow at me as I walk towards the couch.

"So apparently milk is supposed to help dehydration." I say sitting the glass down on the coffee table.

"And the cookies and crisps are to get your salt and sugar levels back up." I sit the rest of the items on the table before sitting down on the couch beside Zayn.

"Impressive." He nods approvingly and I raise my hands up in the air a little as if to say _you know it, I got this._

He leans forward and opens the packet of cookies and points them at me, offering me one.

I take one and pick up the TV remote in front of me. I forgot how good chocolate chip cookies were.

I flick through the channels until I find a foreign film with subtitles. I do love a good foreign film. I don't really know why, they interest me.

We sit on the couch eating cookies and crisps, watching this film, and occasionally giving each other a weird look when something we don't really understand happens on screen.

The tiredness is taking over my body now so I lay my head back against the arm of the couch. Zayn lifts my legs and puts them on top of his lap, so I'm now stretched out on the couch. I smile internally with content as I drift off to sleep.

—

 _I have no idea if people are getting notifications for these new chapters? Give me a comment if you are! Lemme know you're here and reading_


	15. Chapter 15

I feel the sunlight from outside casting a comfortable warmth onto my face as I yawn and stretch my arms. I finally open my eyes and it takes me a second to adjust to my surroundings. Zayn is sound asleep next to me on the couch with his arm wrapped around me. The TV is still on but muted and the snacks from last night are scattered all over the table. I reach for the remote to check the time on the TV, just passed 10am. I lightly try to move Zayn's arm without waking him so I can sit up but I fail miserably.

"Good morning." He says sleepily, eyes still closed.

"Good morning to you too."

"Trying to make an escape are we?" He smiles with a yawn, finally opening his eyes.

"Would I ever?" I say with a fake gasp. "I was just going to make a coffee, want one?" I ask.

"No, I'm okay thanks." He says.

He removes his arm from me and I feel a little sad at the loss of contact but I stand up and stretch regardless. I start to pick up the mess we made last night but Zayn stands up behind me, putting a hand on my lower back.

"You sit down, I'll get it." He says.

"You should be resting."

"I'm okay, I feel better now."

"We'll compromise." I say, picking up an empty packet of cookies. "We'll both do it."

"Deal."

We spend the next five minutes clearing the empty packets and glasses and carrying them into the kitchen.

"Teamwork." Zayn says with a grin, giving me a high five as we walk back into the living room.

We both sit back down on the couch and stretch our legs out onto the coffee table.

"What do we do on this fine Sunday morning?" Zayn asks.

"Breakfast?" I suggest.

"Breakfast it is." He nods.

"Go out or stay in?" I ask.

"I kinda feel like going out." He says.

"Me too."

"Although I feel kinda _bleugh_ having slept in these clothes and then going out in them without a shower or anything."

"So take a shower?" I say.

"But then I'll have to put these clothes back on."

"Okay, so why don't you go home and get showered and changed and then I'll meet you?"

"Your car is at the pub." He reminds me.

"Shit, I forgot about that." I sigh.

"New plan." Zayn says. "How about we go to mine and you can wait on me getting ready, then we'll go pick up your car?"

"Okay, you'll need to wait on me getting ready first." I tell him.

"I can do that." He says.

"Won't be long then." I smile, before sauntering down the hall and grabbing a few towels from the cupboard.

I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on, watching as the steam fills the room.

The minute the hot water hits my skin I feel like I just want to stay here forever. _Or until the water goes cold_. But then I remember Zayn's waiting for me so I shampoo and condition my hair and quickly have a wash. I manage to shave my legs in record time with no cuts, _where's my medal?_

I turn the shower off and step out, wrapping a towel around my body and one around my hair. I quickly brush my teeth then walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom. I have no time to laze about in my towel _which I'm obviously distraught about_ so I dry myself off and slap on some of that pomegranate moisturiser that I would actually rather eat than put on me.

I walk over to the window to observe the weather and the shining sun makes me decide to wear a lace mint green sundress with a white cardigan and white flip flops. I take my hair out of the towel and it's almost dry so I spray some de-frizz on it and put it up. I just put a little bit of foundation and mascara on because it's like 10am and who can be arsed? 

"Ready to go?" I ask Zayn as I walk back into the living room.

"You look amazing." Zayn says, walking over to me and kissing my forehead, making me blush like a little schoolgirl.

"Charmer." I smile.

—

Zayns uncle wasn't home when we got to Zayns, which I guess is the only reason I was allowed in. After Zayn had a quick shower and change, we got a taxi to the pub to pick up my car and now we're in a little café in Crystal Hills Main Street. Feel like I'm keeping these taxi companies in business lately.

As we wait for our breakfast I look outside and take note of how busy the street is, which is quite surprising. It's Sunday morning and the place is absolutely packed. Must be the nice weather I guess.

The waitress brings over our fruit smoothies and croissants. We didn't really want anything too heavy since the weather is so nice. It's that weather where it just _feels_ like you should be eating only fruit and ice lollies.

"Do you want to sit outside?" I ask Zayn. It's starting to get a little stuffy inside the shop. There should be a fan in here. Or a window opened at least.

"Actually yeah, it's ridiculous in here."

We pick up our breakfasts and drinks and carry them to a little table outside the shop.

"Much better." I smile and Zayn nods in agreement.

"So, do you have plans for the bank holiday tomorrow?" He asks.

"What?"

"The bank holiday? It's tomorrow?"

"So it is! I honestly completely forgot about that."

"That would've been good, you turning up to school with not a soul about." He laughs.

I shudder at the thought of being alone in that school, my nightmare is resting unwanted at the back of my mind.

"Yeah." I say, forcing a laugh.

"So you don't have plans then?" He asks.

"I guess not."

"What if I gave you plans?" He says.

"Interesting. What did you have in mind?" I ask.

"Well, uh," he shifts his eyes down to his hands, his fingers fidgeting. He looks so nervous that I just want to grab his face and tell him to stop being so silly.

"Zayn." I say softly. "It's me you're talking to, what is it?" I don't know how, but in the really short time that I've known Zayn I feel like he's someone I can easily talk to and someone that I can trust.

He clears his throat and straightens his back. A smile spreads across his face. The famous Zayn Malik _tongue behind teeth_ smile, and I know that any nerves he previously had have been diminished.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" He asks, still smiling and of course it's infectious so I'm doing the exact same thing.

"A proper date." He adds.

"I'd love to." I tell him.

"Good." He says, looking satisfied, and we go back to eating our breakfast.

We make comfortable small talk while we eat - with Zayn telling me how his parents stay in America, and me telling him how my parents are a few hours drive away.

"Zaynie, is that you?" A woman's voice interrupts our conversation.

First of all, Zayn looks as though he's seen a ghost. But then he snaps out of it and a huge smile appears on his face.

"Gran? What are you doing here?" He beams, his smile even bigger than I've seen it before. He stands up and takes the woman into an embrace. She looks to be about sixty-something and she has perfectly curled hair and perfectly applied makeup. She just looks so pristine.

"Look at you! You're so tall!" She says, hands on his face, examining him.

"I'm passing through on a business trip dear." She tells him.

"And who might this lovely lady be?" She casts her eyes to me and I try to stop myself from blushing.

I stand up to shake her hand but she pulls me into a hug instead. "I'm Kaya." I say. The smell of her musky, flowery perfume fills my nostrils and a feeling of nostalgia suddenly sweeps through me.

"I'm Clara. It's lovely to meet you." She says.

"And you." I smile.

"Well I must be off I have a meeting to get to. It was great seeing you my boy." She plants a kiss on Zayn's cheek, leaving a lipstick stain. "And Kaya it was lovely to meet you." She says and I nod with a smile.

"We should go out for dinner this week while I'm in town. You too Kaya." She says.

"We'd love to." Zayn answers.

"I'll give you a call soon." She says to Zayn. "Bye then." She waves as she walks away from us.

"Sorry about that, you don't have to come if you don't want to." He says.

"No I'd love to, honestly."

"Good. My gran can be a bit full on sometimes, it'll be good to have some moral support." He laughs.

"I got your back." I tell him and we fist bump.

"Is she from your mum or dads side?" I ask.

"My mums. She doesn't see much of my parents either. I guess that's what happens when they're so far away." The sadness is etched all over his face as he says the words and I feel my heart sink.

"Anyway, enough of that talk." Zayn says, standing up from his seat. "Ready to go?" He asks.

"Yep." I say, following suit.

"So are you ready for our date tomorrow?" He says, lightly elbowing me in the arm.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I laugh, elbowing him right back.

—

 _Just a heads up the next few chapters will be fillers so hopefully you still wanna keep reading_


	16. Chapter 16

"You need to tell me where we're going so I know what to wear." I say to Zayn on the phone.

He sighs before answering. "I'm not telling you where we're going. Just wear something nice."

"You're helpful." I huff.

"I told you I wasn't telling you where I was taking you, stop trying to get it out of me Greyson."

"I'm not I swear! I just don't know what to wear. What're you wearing?" I ask.

"I'm not telling you. Wear something fancy but not too fancy, you get me?"

"Fancy but not too fancy." I repeat, trying to think in my head what I should wear. "Okay, I got you." I tell him.

"At last. Now go get ready I'll be there in an hour."

"I'm going, I'm going! See you soon." I say, before hanging up.

I rifle through my wardrobe trying to find something to wear.

I eventually decide on a blue dress and my cropped black leather jacket, with a pair of black heels. I try on the outfit and assess it in the mirror in front of me and yep, that'll do.

I take the outfit and heels back off and sit them down on the bed, before walking over to the mirror to start my makeup. I straighten my hair after I've done my make up and that's me all done.

I carefully put my outfit back on - making sure I don't mess up my hair or makeup - and then I put on my heels. Bit of perfume, bit of lipstick, keys purse and phone in my black clutch and that's me.

About ten minutes later a car horn beeps outside. I get up and look out the window to make sure it's Zayn and then I head out the door.

"Wow." He says. He's standing holding the passenger door opened for me and _holy shit he looks good._

"You look incredible." He says, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my cheek. _Will someone tell those butterflies in my stomach to take a hike?_

"So do you." I tell him. He's wearing a black suit - white shirt and black tie. And he looks damn fine wearing it.

"Thank you." He smiles. "M'lady." He says, taking my hand and helping me into the car.

He closes the car door and makes his way back round to the drivers seat. The car smells like apples and the whole interior is elegant - the seats a smooth black leather.

"This is a really nice car." I tell him.

"Thanks." He smiles. _Where did you get it? How can you afford a car like this if you work as a school janitor? Shut up Kaya._

"I'm kinda nervous about where I'm taking you." He admits.

"Nervous? Why?" I ask.

"I dunno it's just, what if you don't like it?" I look over at him to see a frown has taken over his face.

"Stop frowning. I'll love it wherever you take me."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I assure him and he reaches over for my hand and places a light kiss on it.

I lean my head against the glass window and try to subside the ridiculous smile on my face. It's dark outside now but there's a comfortable warmth in the air. Like you know how when you step off a plane when you've landed on holiday and the hot air hits you? It's like that, except not too hot. It's just perfect.

After driving for about ten minutes, we stop in a fairly empty street. There's a few houses around but more notably there's a bridge in front of us. Zayn stops the car and walks round to the passenger side to let me out.

"Thank you." I say.

"Do you know where we are?" He asks, linking my arm and walking towards the bridge.

"Should I?"

"Well maybe in a few minutes you will." He smiles and we keep walking.

We walk across the bridge and the scenery around us is absolutely beautiful. The bridge is grey bricked and the water underneath is glimmering in the moonlight. We stop walking and I finally realise where we are.

"Your garden." I say, an unstoppable smile appearing on my face.

"Yeah, it was easier coming this way. I didn't want you walking on pebbles and grass with your heels on."

"Aw how thoughtful." I say, placing a hand on his cheek.

He takes my hand and leads me closer to where we're going and I finally see what he's done.

"Oh my god." I manage to say.

A perfect little spot is set up for us next to the lake. There's a table with two seats and two silver platter dishes, two champagne glasses and a candle in the middle of the table. Next to the table on the concrete ground is a wicker picnic basket and a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne. There's fairy lights hung up on the trees surrounding the table and there's soft music playing lightly in the background. I've no idea where it's coming from. I'm absolutely speechless. I feel like I've just walked right into a scene of some rom-com. No one has ever done anything like this for me and I swear I could just burst into tears at the effort he's put into this.

"Zayn...this is...wow." I'm struggling to string together a coherent sentence.

"Come on." He takes my hand and leads me to my chair, pulling it out for me to sit in.

_Are there cameras around me? Am I being filmed for some chick flick I don't know about?_

I'm struggling to actually believe this is happening right now. This is without a doubt the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me.

He sits down across from me and reaches down and picks up the bottle of champagne from the bucket.

"Champagne?" He asks.

"Please." I smile. My cheeks are going to be sore as fuck by the end of the night because I haven't stopped smiling since he picked me up.

He tops up the glasses with champagne and raises his, and I do the same.

"Here's to our first date." He says. "And hopefully to many more." He adds.

"To our first date." I repeat his words. "And to many more." I say and we clink our glasses.

I sip the champagne and the cold, bitter but sweet drink goes down easily. I chuckle slightly as little bubbles from the drink splash up and hit me on the nose.

"You've got an adorable laugh." He smiles.

"Are you kidding? It's ridiculous." I scoff.

"Not as bad as mines." He says.

"As far as laughs go, yours is absolutely normal."

"Definitely not." He shakes his head.

"Don't fight me on this Malik."

"Why? Are you not up for the challenge Greyson?" He says with a smirk.

"I'm always up for a challenge." I smirk right back, raising an eyebrow.

"Good to know." He says looking smug, taking another drink of champagne.

"Hungry?" He asks.

"Famished." I say.

"Drama queen."

"Shut up."

He stands up and walks to the side of the table, putting a hand on each lid of the silver platter.

"Drum roll please." He says and I lightly drum the table.

"Ta-da!" He lifts the lid to reveal mini panini's on a bed of salad and I burst into laughter.

"Did you make these?" I ask.

"I made it all." He smiles proudly.

"You're something else you know that?" I say and he shrugs his shoulders modestly.

"Dig in." He says and so I do.

I take a bite and realise they're chicken fajita flavoured.

"Nearly as good as mine." I laugh.

"I wouldn't know." He says.

"You will soon."

"I hope so."

We finish off our food and Zayn tops up our glasses.

"Ready for more?"

"There's more?" I ask.

"Of course, who do you think I am? I'm a three course meal kinda guy."

"Bring it on then." I say and he clears our empty plates and sits them next to the picnic basket, pulling two more platters out of the basket. He then pulls two plates out of the basket and sits them down in front of us.

"Plate one." He says, pulling the lid off and revealing a pepperoni pizza, earning a grin from me because who doesn't love pizza?

"Plate two." He says, pulling the second lid off to reveal spaghetti carbonara. My favourite.

"Ahh good choices." I say.

"I know they're gonna be cold now but pizza tastes better cold and the pasta, well, it'll have to do."

"It will." I smile.

We dig in to the pizza and pasta and just chat away, getting to know each other more. I finally feel like I'm turning the pages of the book that is Zayn Malik with each new thing he tells me.

We end up playing twenty questions just to get to know each other more, and I learn that his parents moved to America three months ago because they just wanted to get out of Crystal Hills. He says that his gran lives about four hours away from here but they kind of drifted apart after his parents moved away. He says he misses her and he doesn't like that they don't talk as much anymore, but he was really happy to see her yesterday and he's looking forward to our dinner with her. He tells me he's an only child and I tell him the same. I tell him how my parents were the same as his parents and just wanted to move out of Crystal Hills - they now live in a little village in the countryside.

"Okay, last course. Dessert. You ready?" He says.

"I'm ready." I tell him and he pulls the last platter out of the basket and places it on the table. He lifts the lid to reveal chocolate covered strawberries.

"You romantic fuck." I laugh.

"You love it." He laughs back.

"I really do." I say, leaning across the table.

"C'mere." I put my hand under his chin and pull his lips to mine, giving him a soft and gentle kiss. I can feel his smile through the kiss and I can't help but do the same. We pull back and he places a light peck on my nose and we sit back down.

We finish off our strawberries and drink the last of the champagne. The bubbles have went straight to my head and I'm in an amazing mood. This is honestly been one of the best nights I've ever had.

"You done good, I must say." I tell Zayn.

"I'm glad you liked it." He says.

"I loved it." I say and he smiles shyly.

He stands up and walks toward my seat and holds his hand out for me.

"What're you doing?" I ask, taking his hand anyway and standing up.

"Dance with me?" He asks and I laugh.

"Where is that music even coming from?" I say as he leads me to right in front of the water. The music playing is a soft piano and I've never heard the song before but it's absolutely spellbinding.

"That's a secret." He says, putting his hands on my waist and pulling me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder, the smell of his aftershave lingering around me. But it's good, it's familiar.

I lose track of how long we've been dancing but I don't really care. Right now, head buried into Zayn's neck, his arms wrapped around me, that's all that really matters.

—

 _This whole chapter is full of absolute cheese I'm sorry_


	17. Chapter 17

For the past week or so I've been spending the majority of my time with Zayn in and out of work and I've been absolutely loving it. We've been talking, laughing, eating, complaining about work - the usual. And get this, _I'm happy_. Who would have thought?

It's now Wednesday and our dinner with his gran is tonight. If you had to search the phrase "nervous wreck" I'm positive the definition would simply say _Kaya Greyson_. I don't even know why I'm so nervous. I mean, I met his gran the other day and she seemed lovely. But it was just a quick meeting, what if she doesn't like me once she gets to know me more?

"Okay, I'll call you later and let you know the plans." Zayn tells me, leaning down and kissing me lightly on the forehead. He goes to pull back and walk away but I grab the collar of his t-shirt and pull him closer to me.

"That was a shit goodbye." I tell him with a smirk on my face. It wasn't really shit, the butterflies in my stomach seemed to like it. I just wanted more. He has his grey boiler suit wrapped around his waist again and his white t-shirt perfectly accentuates his muscles. How can I resist?

"Oh really?" He says, dipping his head down and placing a warm kiss on my jaw.

"Was this what you wanted?" He asks in a rough and low voice. I can't even answer him because the feeling of his lips on that spot is driving me crazy.

"Or how about this?" He looks at me with a seductive look in his eyes before moving his lips down to my neck. I feel his tongue glide along it followed by a light nip and I have to bite my lip to stop a moan from escaping.

"Okay, okay!" I say, pulling back slightly with a flushed face as a smug grin plays on his. We're in the school car park and I really don't want to be caught by anyone, even though I'm pretty sure everyone has already left for the night. _You're the one who wanted more Kaya._ That is true, I tell my subconscious. Fuck it.

"This is what I wanted." I say, before pulling him closer to me once again and connecting our lips. What starts out as a soft and gentle kiss soon heats up as our tongues blend together and the kiss deepens. He lightly tugs at my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls back and I swear it sends an electric surge right through me.

"Well, that goodbye was much better than mine." He laughs, a bit breathless.

"Damn right." I say, equally as breathless.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.

"See you tonight then." He says, kissing the top of my head.

"See you tonight." I say into his chest before he pulls away and heads to his car, waving at me as he goes.

"Well, well, well." A voice startles me and I squeal like some sort of wild animal.

"Madge! Oh my god, you just gave me the fright of my life!" I say clutching my chest in. My heart is beating ridiculously fast and I'm pretty sure it's about to break out of my body.

"I'm sorry, dear." She laughs, walking over to me and putting a hand on my arm and giving it a light squeeze.

"It's okay." I laugh back, her caring tendencies seeming to calm me down.

"So what was that all about then?" She smirks with a raised eyebrow.

I can literally feel my face turning beetroot and I'm pretty sure it's on fire right now with how hot it is.

"Oh don't get embarrassed dear." She nudges me with her elbow. "I know what the start of relationships are like, can't keep your hands off each other and all. I'm not as old as you think." She winks at me and I let out a laugh.

"We're actually not in a relationship." I tell her. "We're kind of...I don't know, just enjoying each other's company right now I guess?"

"Ah, I see." She says with a nod. "You like him then?" She asks.

"I really do." I tell her with that stupid grin plastered on my face _yet again_. It's like a permanent feature now ever since I met Zayn.

"It's really lovely to see you happy Kaya." She tells me, walking me to my car.

"It's really lovely to feel happy." I tell her.

—

"We're going to be late, move your arse!" Zayn shouts from the living room.

"Okay, okay! Don't get your knickers in a twist!" I shout back, putting my earrings in and grabbing my bag.

I step into my heels and walk up the hall into the living room. Zayn stands up from the couch and walks toward me with a smile on his face.

"How is it possible that you get even more beautiful every time I see you?" He whispers into my ear, his hot breath against my skin.

"You're a sap, you know that?"

"You bring it out of me." He says, placing a kiss on my cheek and taking my hand, leading me out of the door.

After we get in the car Zayn puts the radio on as we drive to the restaurant. I stare aimlessly out the window as we drive. I can feel my nerves creeping to the surface.

"Hey." Zayn takes his eyes off the road for a second and glances at me. "You alright?" He asks.

"I'm fine, just a little nervous I guess."

He reaches over and sits his hand on top of mine, drawing circles on it with his thumb. "You'll be fine, trust me. She'll love you." He says.

"I dunno." I shrug.

"Stop." He says, looking at me. "She will love you now relax, okay?"

"Okay." I sigh. Zayn's words seem to calm me a little but that nervous feeling is still in the pit of my stomach. And in my legs. And in my arms. And pretty much everywhere. I honestly don't know why I'm so nervous but I just can't seem to shift it.

"We're nearly here." He announces and I let out a deep breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Relax." He says again. "We're a good team. I've got your back." He smiles and that's all I needed to hear.

He drives into the car park of some fancy Italian restaurant I've never been to before. He parks near the entrance and comes round to my side of the car and holds the door opened for me. He takes my hand and we walk into the restaurant.

"Table for Malik." He says to the maître d'.

"Right this way please." The man smiles before leading us to our table.

"The rest of your party has already arrived." He says and Zayn gives him a nod.

This place is absolutely beautiful. The floors are dark wood as are the tables, with a candle in the centre of each one. The whole restaurant is low-lit and has such an intimate atmosphere. The walls are splashed with expensive paintings and right along the back wall is filled with various bottles of wine. We walk past a door which I assume leads to the kitchen and the smell of herbs and spices fill my senses.

He leads us to a little table at the back of the restaurant and Clara comes into view, with a man sitting next to her.

"Is that your grandad?" I whisper to Zayn.

"I have no idea who that is." He whispers back.

Clara spots us and a massive smile appears on her face as she gets up to greet us.

"My boy." She beams, kissing Zayn on the cheek and wrapping an arm around him.

"Hi gran." Zayn says, a shy smile sweeping across his face which is just _absolutely adorable._

"Kaya, lovely to see you again." She hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"You too Clara." I smile at her.

She sits back down in her seat next to the mystery man and Zayn and I sit across from them. The man is dressed in a suit and I must say he is quite handsome for an older man.

"Zayn, Kaya, this is Jim." She says, gesturing between us all. "Jim, this is my grandson Zayn and his girlfriend Kaya." She tells him. My heart flips when she says the word girlfriend and then does a double flip when Zayn doesn't correct her. Instead he reaches under the table and squeezes my hand.

"Nice to meet you both." Jim says, showing off a perfectly white set of teeth.

"You too." Zayn says at the same time as I say "and you."

Clara tells me that she works in the cosmetic field and that she's in town testing new makeup. She says that she hopes it'll all go well because she's been needing some good news lately.

We order our food and as we wait for it to arrive the conversation turns to Jim.

"So Zayn." Clara says, hands clasped together, her eyes darting to Zayn and then her hands.

She clears her throat and looks him in the eye before finally saying, "Jim and I are actually seeing each other."

She obviously caught Zayn at a bad moment - right as he was taking a drink of water - as he starts coughing and spluttering.

I pat on his back lightly and after getting out a few coughs he seems to be okay again.

"Oh, uh, I-excuse me please." He says, standing up from his chair and walking away from the table.

Clara's shoulders slump and the sadness is visible on her face.

"I'll go check on him." I say, standing up and walking in the direction he just went.

I walk past the kitchen door and look around me to try and see where he went. I glance at the front door just as he walks out so I quickly follow after him. When I get outside his eyes are closed and he's leaning back against the concrete wall.

"Hey, are you okay?" I say, walking over to him and placing my hands on his chest.

"Yeah I just-I didn't expect to see her with someone." He says, holding onto my forearms and letting out a sigh.

"My grandad passed away about a year ago." He continues.

There's nothing worse than seeing that look of pity in someone's eyes when they tell you how sorry they are that someone close to you has died. You know they're just trying to be nice but it doesn't help. It doesn't heal any of the pain you feel.

I can tell by just looking at his eyes that he doesn't want any pity from me, so instead of saying anything I lean into him and wrap my arms around him.

"I know I sound ridiculous, I just didn't think she'd move on so soon." He tells me, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger.

"You don't sound ridiculous, it's understandable that you feel that way." I assure him.

"I'm sorry for storming off like that. How am I going to get through the rest of the dinner now?" He sighs.

"Don't be sorry." I say. "We're a team, remember? I've got your back." I tell him and that earns me one of those beautiful smiles of his.

"I'll be in in a second okay?" He says, placing a light kiss on my lips.

"I'll be waiting." I say, walking back into the restaurant.

Clara's eyes are hopeful as I walk back towards the table, she's glancing behind me to see if Zayn is there and when she doesn't spot him her hope visibly deflates.

"He'll be right in. He's just getting some air." I tell her and she nods.

"I didn't mean to upset him." She tells me.

"I know you didn't." I say softly.

"I know I shouldn't have just laid it on him like this, especially after not seeing him for so long." She adds.

"How long has it been if you don't mind me asking?"

"Three months." She tells me with a regretful look on her face. "After the accident I stupidly pushed everyone away."

"Accident?" I ask.

"The car crash. It pains me everyday that I left Zayn in his time of need. I left him with nobody." She says, her eyes now watering. "He lost his parents and his sister, the people he loved most in the world." She says and my heart drops down to the very pit of my stomach.

"But I lost my child that day and it all got too much for me." She cries.

I'm lost for words as the tears stream freely from Clara's eyes and I need to bite my lip to stop myself from doing the same thing. I take a drink of water to swallow down the lump in my throat.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Clara says, using her napkin to wipe under her eyes. Jim puts his hand on her shoulder and begins lightly rubbing it to console her.

"You didn't know about that did you?" She asks, and I'm guessing it's because my jaw is on the floor.

I shake my head.

"I'm sorry." She says. "Please don't tell him I told you. I really don't want to upset him anymore than I already have."

I just nod at her because, honestly, I think I've forgotten how to speak. I'm racking my brains for something to say, _anything_ to say, but I can't find a thing. As if every single word ever stored in my memory has been erased.

The waiter comes out with our food and a few seconds later Zayn comes back to the table.

He glances at all of us before sitting down. I reach for his hand under the table and give it a light squeeze and he looks at me as if to say _what was that for?_ but I just smile at him - or the best possible smile I can manage at this moment in time - and begin eating my food, everyone else soon does the same.

Nobody mentions Zayn leaving the table for the rest of the dinner and nobody mentions the news that was laid upon me just minutes ago.

I want to tell him how my heart is breaking for the boy who lost the most important people in his life. I want to feel angry at Zayn's gran abandoning him when he needed her the most but I can't. Because she lost her child that day and no parent should _ever_ have to bury a child. I want to hold him and kiss him and tell him that everything is okay and that everything will be okay. But I don't, because I can't. Because this is information that he himself hadn't shared with me. He'd told me a completely different story and I had no reason to doubt anything he said.

Three months is a short time, short enough for it to still be raw for him, and that's what makes it worse. There's nothing that I can say or do to console him because it's something I'm not even supposed to know. If he wanted to tell me he would have. I guess it's understandable that he didn't because we haven't known each other that long. But I'm confused as to why he'd lie to me? I'm confused and I'm hurt and I'm angry and I'm sympathetic and I'm far too many things at once.

So instead of doing what I want to do and saying what I want to say, I don't. I do nothing. I say nothing. The dinner carries on and ends and we say our goodbyes but I still remain quiet. I'm afraid that if I say more than a few words all of my feelings will come pouring out, and that's the last thing I want to happen.


	18. Chapter 18

I've been trying my absolute best to not mention to Zayn that I know the truth about his family since I found out at dinner last week, but it's proving difficult. Zayn is acting exactly like the romantic, adorable and sappy Zayn I've gotten to know. But still, the question lingering in the back of my mind is - is he really coping?

You know when you first meet someone and you just instantly feel some sort of connection? You might not even like each other at first or you might not even speak to them, but that _something_ is still there - hovering below the surface and pulling you under. Whether it's hate, love, lust, attraction or even anger. And I can't deny I felt _something_ the first moment I saw Zayn at my locker. I was instantly intrigued by him and I just knew that I had to know more about him. I had no idea that intrigued feeling would turn into something more, but it has. I'm not quite sure what yet, but all I know is it's _something_ and it's good. And for the first time in a while I actually feel happy, it feels pretty fucking awesome if I do say so myself.

I made us dinner after work and now we're lying on the couch watching some shitty documentary about flowers, I'm actually not sure why.

"Why are we watching this again?" Zayn interrupts my thoughts, seemingly reading my mind.

"Because you love flowers obviously." I say.

"Obviously." He nods.

"What's your favourite?"

"Um, roses I guess? I don't know, what's yours?"

"I don't think I have one, a flower's just a flower to me really, nothing special."

"How un-stereotypical of you."

"That's me." I say, scooting closer to him and resting my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me and starts twirling the end of my hair round his finger.

"So I have a question." Zayn says.

"Is that so?"

"It's kind of stupid." He says and I sit up to look at him.

"No question is a stupid question." I say and he laughs. He takes my hands in his and looks at me.

"Okay." He says.

"So we've been spending a lot of time together recently and I've been having a lot of fun, I really like you Kaya." He doesn't take his eyes off me for a second and that really isn't helping the commotion in my stomach.

"I know this sounds so high school-ish but," he clears his throat, "would you be my girlfriend?" He asks.

"Pfft, is that it? No romantic scene with flowers?" I tease.

"You don't like flowers remember?"

"True." I wrap my arms around his neck and softly kiss his lips. "I'd love to be your girlfriend." I smile and he does the same.

"Good." He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.

"Look at us being all coupley."

"Cute as fuck." He says.

"What should our first boyfriend-girlfriend activity be?" I ask.

"We could watch a film."

"Cliché." I say, waving my hand and rolling my eyes like a diva.

"Dance with me then?"

"What?" I laugh.

"Dance with me. C'mon. Get up." He says, standing up and holding his hands out.

"You're a loser." I say, taking his hand and standing up.

"But I'm your boyfriend." He says.

"And I'm your girlfriend." I say with a stupid grin on my face because obviously I've forgotten how to stop smiling.

"Wait, we need music." Zayn says, picking up the tv remote and putting a music channel on. He puts on _Top_ _50 Cheesiest Pop Songs_ and sits the remote back down.

We spend the next hour or so dancing and watching the Top 50 countdown and by the time it's finished we're absolutely fucked.

"I can't breathe." I say as I lie flat on my back on the carpet.

"I feel like I've just ran a marathon." Zayn says - _more like chokes actually_ \- as he struggles to catch his breath. He lays down beside me and we just stare at the ceiling as our breathing returns to normal.

"That's my yearly exercise done." I say.

"I don't think we need to move for the rest of our lives, that was plenty." Zayn says.

"Everybody our age is out getting drunk and we're spending our Friday night dancing to cheesy pop music."

He raises his arm to fist bump me, "un-cliché." He says.

"Un-cliché." I laugh, bumping my fist against his.

"I'm tired." He says.

"Bedtime." I say and he sits up.

"You're gonna have to carry me." I tell him.

"I suppose I could do that, since you're my girlfriend and all." He shrugs.

He stands in front of me and I stand up and jump on his back. Arms wrapped around his neck, legs wrapped around his stomach. His hands are holding tightly onto my thighs.

"Don't drop me." I say, as we head towards my room.

"Wait! We need to turn the TV off." I remind him and he groans before turning back into the living room.

He carries me over to the coffee table and leans forward slightly so that I can grab the remote and switch the TV off.

"Sorted?" He asks.

"Sorted." I say and he carries me back towards my room.

As we walk up the hall I bang my foot off of the door handle and he nearly drops me as we burst into laughter.

We manage to successfully make it to my room with minimal injuries and he sits me down on the bed.

"This is the first time I've stayed here as your boyfriend." He says.

"Oooh, pressure."

"Also the first time I've stayed in your bed as your boyfriend."

"Even more pressure."

"So I just have to be extra cuddly? Like is that part of boyfriend duties?"

"Mhm." I nod.

"C'mere." He says, holding his arms out for me to lie down next to him. I put my head on his chest and wrap my arm around him.

"I kinda like you, you know that?" He says.

"I kinda like you too." I say.

"Good thing, since I'm your boyfriend and all." He places a kiss on top of my head and I feel myself drifting into a deep sleep with the word boyfriend contently ringing in my ears.

—

"Lazy head, wake up." I hear a voice say. My eyes are still closed but I can smell something. Something good. Pancakes? Can I smell pancakes? I squint my eyes open and see Zayn above me.

"If you weren't my boyfriend that would be creepy as fuck." I say.

"Good thing I'm your boyfriend then." He smiles, kissing me on the forehead.

"Boyfriend." I smile, the word feeling foreign on my lips. I feel like I'm going to need to keep saying it to get used to it, even though we've already said it a bazillion times.

"Girlfriend." He smiles back.

"Are you cooking?" I ask.

"I might be."

"Are you making me pancakes?" I ask, smiling like a little child barely able to contain my excitement.

"I might be." He smirks.

He stands up and walks towards the bedroom door.

"But if you don't get up I'm gonna eat them all." He shouts as he walks up the hall, followed by an evil cackle and it's far too early in the morning for him to be this adorable. I glance at the clock and _oh_ maybe it's not so early. Just passed noon.

I walk into the kitchen and laid out on the table is two glasses of orange juice and a plate of pancakes next to a jar of nutella and a bowl of strawberries.

"I could get used to this." I say stretching my arms and making some weird sound that's a cross between a yawn and a groan. A grawn?

"Dig in." He says and I take a seat at the table.

We demolish the pancakes in record time and I'm thankful that Zayn has the same ridiculous appetite as I do. We can just sit and eat and eat and eat and that's exactly how I like it.

"I feel like we should have a productive Saturday, but then on the other hand I feel like we should just laze about all day." Zayn says.

"It's like you can read my mind." I say. "Let's flip a coin and let the gods decide." I suggest.

Zayn picks up his wallet from the table and pulls out a coin and throws it into the air.

"We need to call it you twat." I laugh.

"Shit." He says, picking up the coin again. "Okay, call it." He throws the coin into the air.

"Heads we be productive, tails we be lazy." I instruct.

He catches the coin and places it on the back of his hand and looks at it. "Heads it is." He says.

"So what do we do?" I ask.

"We could go a drive, just keep driving until we find somewhere fun."

"That sounds interesting." I say, getting up from my seat and walking over to Zayn. He holds his arms out and gestures for me to sit on his lap. I sit on his lap and he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Then that's what we'll do."

"Good." I say.

"Good." He says.

"I have a feeling today will be a good day."

"I have a feeling you're right." He smiles, pulling me closer to him and connecting our lips.


	19. Chapter 19

"This is bullshit." Zayn says.

"We've been driving for an hour and a half and we haven't came across anything but fields." He huffs and I must say he looks so adorable when he's huffy.

"Are you trying to say fields aren't interesting?" I say.

"What's interesting about them?"

"Cows. Cows are interesting."

"Shall I let you out here and you can go play with the cows?"

"Shut up." I say, swatting him on the arm.

"Hey now, don't hit the driver." He says in a childish voice.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Oh really? By who?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"My girlfriend. She's pretty cool, you'd probably like her."

"I bet she's a keeper."

"That she is." He says.

"Tell me about her."

"Well, she pretends her panini's are amazing when they're obviously not a patch on mine."

"Hmm is that so? Maybe she should start making panini's for someone who's a bit more appreciative?"

"Okay I lied. Her panini's are better than mine." He says, raising his hands in surrender.

"Hands on the wheel, Malik."

"Sorry boss." He places his hands back on the steering wheel.

"Did I mention my girl looks incredible in that dress?" He says and my stomach does a flip because his voice is so damn sexy when he says _my girl_.

"Oh does she now?"

"She does. And you know what else?"

"What's that?"

"No one even comes close to pulling off that red lipstick like she does."

"Is that so?" I whisper in his ear as seductively as I can. I place a slow and lingering kiss on his temple, leaving a lipstick stain behind.

"If you keep doing that I'm gonna crash." Zayn says, fidgeting in his seat.

I lean back into my seat feeling smug as ever because the look on his face is absolutely priceless.

We continue driving for another two hours or so until we come to a nice looking little village. The pavements are grey bricked lined with various different coloured cottages. The sun is shining down on the flowers and grass - like something you'd find on a postcard.

"This is cute." I say, looking out the window as we pass the various cottages and shops.

"Yeah it's not bad." Zayn says unenthusiastically.

"Don't get too excited."

He glances at me and laughs. "What is there to do here though?" He says.

I look out the window again, taking in the sights as we drive by. "Well there's a bakery, a clothes shop, a cottage, um, another cottage..." I say, my voice trailing off. "Oh! There's a pub!"

"Now we're talking." Zayn grins.

"But we can't drink if you're driving?"

"We passed a B&B, we could stay?"

"Sounds good."

"Okay, there's a car park ahead."

We drive to the end of the road and Zayn turns into the car park. It's surprisingly busy for such a small village. We get out of the car and Zayn links my arm and we start to walk through the street.

"Look at you being a gentleman." I say.

"Boyfriend duties." He says with a smile.

The streets are busy with people of all ages. Kids shopping with their parents, teenagers out with their friends, elderly couples taking a stroll. We pass a quaint little café with people sitting at tables outside enjoying the sun. We pass by a library and I tell Zayn to remind us to go there before we leave and he calls me a nerd but he's talking shit because he likes books just as much as I do.

We pass by a little bakery and the smell of the shop is absolutely incredible. I don't even know how to describe the smell it's just _really fucking good_. It's like freshly baked bread mixed with cakes and it's just heavenly.

"You want to go in there don't you?" Zayn says.

"How did you know?"

"You're practically drooling." He laughs.

"Come on, let's get the drooler a cake." He says.

"Don't act like you don't want one too."

"Okay maybe I do."

We walk into the shop and the little bell above the door rings as we enter. I feel like I've just walked into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. There's chocolate bars, jars of various different sweets, cornflake cakes, strawberry tarts, chocolate doughnuts, you name it, they have it. _Oh lord_. My eyes scan slowly across the shelves taking in all the delicious sights, wondering if I should just buy it all. My eyes stop on a woman in the far corner of the shop.

"Zayn." I say.

"What?" He asks, not looking because he's too busy looking at the cakes, a man after my own heart.

"Zayn." I say again, nudging him with my elbow.

"What is it?" He says, now looking at me.

"Look." I nod my head towards the woman at the corner of the shop and his face drops.

"What is she doing here?" He asks.

"I don't know, do you want to go speak to her?"

"Yeah I guess, I can't just not speak to her."

"Okay." I say, putting a hand on his back and rubbing it lightly.

We walk towards the corner of the shop and he clears his throat. "Gran?" He says.

She looks round at us and her eyes widen. "Zayn!" She beams, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek.

"Kaya dear! How are you?" She looks to me and pulls me into an embrace.

"I'm good thank you." I smile.

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

"We're just passing through. What are you doing here?" Zayn asks.

"I live here." She says.

"Oh, I had no idea." Zayn says, lowering his eyes to the ground. I gently rub his lower back again and he reaches behind him and takes my hand in his.

"Are you staying the night or will you be leaving soon?" Clara asks.

"We were actually planning on staying the night." Zayn tells her.

"Oh fabulous! You can stay with me!" She smiles.

Zayn looks at me questioningly and I just give him a nod.

"Yeah, okay, we can do that." He nods.

"Excellent! I'll get things in for dinner then. Will you be coming back to mine just now or are you going to do some exploring first?" She asks.

Zayn looks at me again. "Exploring first, yeah?" And I nod at him.

"Okay." Clara nods. "I just live at the end of the street, number 52. I'll see you tonight then? Around 5?"

"Sounds good." Zayn says and she hugs us both before leaving the shop.

"Well that was a surprise." Zayn says, turning to face me.

"You had no idea she lived here?"

"Nope. I mean, I knew she lived a few hours away from me but I didn't know where."

"Well now you do."

"Now I do." He nods.

"You alright?" I ask.

"Yeah I guess." He says and I lean forward and give him a kiss.

"Right, let's get you a cake." He says, turning me around by the shoulders and lightly pushing my ass, making me squeal.

—

"I feel underdressed." Zayn groans.

"It's your grans house not some fancy restaurant."

"I know but still." He shrugs.

"Why are you so nervous?" I ask.

"I don't know."

I turn to face him and put my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look me in the eye.

"Relax, okay? It's your grandmother, you have no reason to be nervous." I tell him and he nods slowly.

"Plus I'm here, moral support and that." I say and he smiles.

"Thank you." He says, kissing me on the forehead.

"Anytime." I tell him and we stop outside his grans house. He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Oh Zayn, Kaya! Lovely to see you again." She smiles, giving us another hug. Damn she's always so polite.

"Come in, come in." She says, holding the door opened and ushering us to walk through it.

The house is much more modern than I expected - with a flat screen TV and sleek leather couches in the living room. Despite this, the house still has a homely feel to it - with photographs and paintings lining the walls, flowery cushions on the couch and a big fluffy rug in front of the fireplace. I kind of want to just dive onto that rug. I'm not going to though. Manners and all that. The house smells of garlic and my stomach rumbles at the delicious smell.

"Make yourselves at home, can I get you a drink? Beer? Wine?"

"I'll have a beer thanks." Zayn says.

"Wine would be lovely, thanks Clara."

"No problem dear, I'll be right back."

"She likes you more than she likes me." Zayn says.

"Don't be silly." I laugh.

He turns to face me on the couch. "I'm actually being serious. We haven't spoken in so long and it's like she never even missed me." He says, his eyes looking down at his legs.

"Zayn, she practically lights up every time she speaks to you." I take his hand in mine. "Besides, who wouldn't miss you?"

He gives me a forced smile and I rub his hand with my thumb.

"Here you go." Clara smiles, walking back through with our drinks.

"Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes." She says.

"Thank you." Zayn and I say at the same time.

"Where did you explore today then?" She asks us.

"We went to the library for most of the day." Zayn says.

"Oh lovely, did you get any nice books?" She asks.

"I got this one." I say, pulling a book from my bag and handing it to her.

"Blood Games, Richard Laymon." She says, her eyes scanning the back of the book.

"Yeah, he's one of my favourite authors. He writes horror, I'm a total horror buff."

"See I never was into horrors much, Zayn here loves them though, don't you Zaynie?"

"That I do." He smiles.

"Interesting." I say, raising my eyebrows.

"You'll need to read it to me." He says to me.

"Maybe I will."

Clara hands me the book and I put it back into my bag.

"Okay, I'll go put dinner out now shall I? Follow me to the dining room."

We pick up our drinks and follow Clara up the hall and into the dining room. A large wooden table presents itself in the middle of the room. There's a bowl of garlic bread and a bowl of salad in the centre of the table.

Zayn glances at the photographs on the cabinet next to the table and looks away quickly. I look at it before I sit down and my heart pangs with sadness. There's a man and woman and a little girl, it must be his family.

I take a seat next to him and rub his back.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, are you?"

"All good." He says.

"I hope you two are hungry." Clara says, walking into the room and placing a tray of lasagne in front of us.

"Starving." I say, oh my it smells so good.

"Dig in." She says and sits down across from us.

—

The lasagne was finished in record time and we're now eating sticky toffee pudding and ice cream, my favourite.

Zayn went to the bathroom and now I'm just chatting away to Clara.

"I can't believe you made this yourself." I tell her. "It's amazing."

"I could give you the recipe dear."

"I'd love that." I smile.

"You two seem to be getting along well." Zayn says on his return, with a slight clip in his tone.

"Well she's a lovely woman Zayn, I'm glad to see you settled."

"Yeah she is, but I'm sure she'll leave soon. Everyone always does, right gran?"

"Zayn." I say quietly, squeezing his hand under the table.

"I'm sure Kaya won't be going anywhere dear." Clara says.

"She's right, I'm not going anywhere." I tell him.

"Maybe you could give my gran some tips Kaya?" He says, his voice icy.

Clara lets out a sigh before reaching for Zayn's hand but he pulls away.

"Zayn." She says. "We need to talk about this."

"Really? Why now? You've had plenty of opportunities before now."

"I know I have Zayn, but you have to understand, it was hard for me too."

"You left me with nobody! No house, no family, absolutely nothing!" He stands up from his seat.

"They just packed everything up and left me, I thought the one person I could rely on was you! But you left me just like the rest of them!" He shouts.

"I had to move in with my dads brother and he's a total dick, but I had nowhere else to go!" He throws his hands up in exasperation.

Clara stands up slowly from her seat. "What do you mean they packed everything up and left you?" She asks.

"They fucked off to America! Obviously I was too much baggage for them to take with them." He says and I can feel goosebumps starting to appear on my skin.

"What?" She says quietly, almost a whisper. Her face has turned a ghastly white colour.

"They left me. They couldn't even stand to be in the same country as me." He says and Clara steps toward him.

"You think they live in America?" Clara asks, now standing in front of him.

"They do. Why, where do you think they live?"

Clara puts the back of her hand on his forehead, feeling his temperature.

"Are you feeling okay Zayn?" She asks cautiously.

"I'm fine." Zayn says, looking at her like she has three heads.

"Where do you think they live?" He asks again.

"Zayn they're, they're dead." She says quietly, a pained look appearing on her face.

"What are you talking about?" Zayn says, a confused look on his face.

"The car accident. Three months ago, you don't remember?" She says.

"No, no, you're wrong." He says, shaking his head and backing away from her with his hands held up.

"Zayn, listen to me please." She tries to step closer to him but he backs away further.

"You're wrong, okay? They're fine, they're in America."

"Zayn." She says.

"Kaya, let's go." He says, walking out of the dining room and heading for the front door.

"I don't know what just happened." Clara says.

"Me neither." I say.

"I'm worried Kaya. I need you to get him to a doctor." She says.

"How do I do that?"

"I'm not sure but I know for a fact he won't listen to me. If he listens to anyone it'll be you."

"Here, take my number." She says, grabbing a notepad and pen and scribbling her number. "I think we have a lot to talk about."

"Okay." I say, stuffing the paper into my pocket.

"I better go get Zayn, thank you for dinner and I'm sorry about this." I say.

She pulls me into a hug. "Don't worry about it dear, just please, make sure he goes to the doctor." She says.

"I'll try my best." I say as she walks me to the front door.

As I walk to the car where Zayn is sitting, I feel like my mind is travelling at a hundred miles per second and I can feel endless questions flowing through the blood around my brain.


	20. Chapter 20

We arrive at my house and Zayn takes my keys and opens the front door. I take a long deep breath before following him into the house, I need to think about what I'm going to say to him and _how_ I'm going to say it.

I take my shoes off at the front door and walk into the kitchen to get a drink.

"Do you want a drink?" I shout to Zayn.

"I'm fine thanks." He calls back, his voice still slightly off.

I make myself a strong coffee and hoist myself up onto the kitchen counter, just trying to collect my thoughts.

"You not coming in?" Zayn's voice startles me from my thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, in a minute. I was just having a coffee."

"Oh." He says.

"You okay?" I ask.

He lets out a sigh before walking over to the counter I'm sitting on. He separates my legs and steps in between them and puts his hands on my waist. I sit my coffee down beside me and wrap my arms around his neck. I start to play with the bottom of his hair, running my fingers from the bottom of his neck up to the end of his hair and wrapping it around my finger.

"I'm sorry about earlier." He says.

"It's okay." I say.

"It's not okay, I completely lost it." He sighs again.

"I just, I got so angry that she'd basically cut me out of her life and she didn't even have the common courtesy to give me an explanation. She was all I had left." He continues and the sadness returns to me immediately.

"What happened?" I ask softly, cautiously.

I'm still very confused by everything that's happened. According to his grandmother his family were killed in an accident but according to him his family just abandoned him and moved away. When Clara said she wants me to get him to a doctor something in my mind just _clicked_. Previous times he's forgotten things resurfaced in my mind and now all I want to do is get to the bottom of this. If getting him to a doctor is what I need to do then that's what I'm going to try to do, although I'm not quite sure how.

"Three months ago." He says, his voice low. "I guess they decided that they didn't like me anymore, that they just couldn't stand to be around me anymore. Understandable." He shrugs, his eyes lowering to the ground. "Don't know why anyone would want to stick around me, I'm useless."

Pull my heart out of my chest and stomp all over it and I guarantee it won't be as painful as how I feel right now. Have you ever known someone that you cared about massively, but they thought so little of themselves? And it hurts you probably more than it should because why can't they see how amazing they are? Why can't they understand that just by being around you they make your life so much better?

"You're not useless Zayn. Not even a little bit." I tell him and I absolutely mean it.

"Yeah, right." He says, lowering his head.

"Do you trust me?" I ask and he lifts his head up to look me in the eye.

"Yeah I do."

"Okay. So trust me when I say that you're not useless. You're far from it."

"Okay." He says, forcing a smile but I know he doesn't believe a word I say.

I feel like right now is the absolute wrong time to mention what his gran said but I know if I don't do it now I never will. I swallow down my nerves before I speak.

"Why does your gran think that your family are dead?" I ask and I don't mean for it to sound so blunt but there isn't really a better way I can say it.

"I'm worried about her." He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I think she's losing her mind."

"What age is she?"

"64." He tells me and although I guess this very well could be the case, I have a feeling deep in my gut that it's not.

"When was the last time you spoke to your parents?" I ask.

"I don't know, why?"

"I mean was it recently?"

"Why are you asking me these questions? You don't believe me do you?"

"No, Zayn, that's not it I'm just, I'm worried about you."

"What? Why?" He asks.

"You believe her don't you?" He says, raising his voice slightly.

"I don't know what I believe but please, stop acting like I'm turning against you because I'm not."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I just want to be here for you. I think you should maybe go see a doc-"

"A doctor? I'm not fucking crazy Kaya!" He backs away from me completely and stands at the opposite end of the kitchen and this is the last thing I wanted to happen.

"I know you're not crazy Zayn-"

"Then why are you implying that I am?"

"That's not what I'm doing, just hear me out okay?" I say, walking closer to him and he doesn't back away and doesn't say anything so I clear my throat before speaking.

"Your gran seems to think your parents don't live in America, that they've-they've passed away." I say, my voice shaky because I don't really know where I'm going with this.

"And I told you she's wrong." He says adamantly. I search my brains for something to say but I'm unable to come up with anything.

"Okay." I finally say because I'm at a complete loss for words. What am I supposed to say? I've never in my life been in a situation like this before and at this moment I feel like my brain has just been ran over by a truck and the remains are splattered all over this kitchen floor.

"I'm going to go." Zayn says, walking out of the kitchen.

"Zayn..." I plead but the only reply I get is the sound of the front door closing.

I let out a sigh and slump down the kitchen wall and land on the hard linoleum. He feels like I turned against him and that's the last thing I wanted to happen. I just don't have a clue what to do. I feel so unbelievably overwhelmed right now and I don't know if it's because I have no idea what to think about him and his gran, or if it's the fact that in only just over two months I think I'm falling for him. Fuck, who am I kidding? There's no _think_ about it. I'm falling hard and fast and as of right now, I'm scared to see where I'll land when I finally hit the ground.

—

After sitting on the kitchen floor for well over twenty minutes I manage to lift myself up with a groan because my arse hurts and I can't stay there any longer.

I drag myself up the hall into the cupboard to retrieve a few towels and I run myself a hot bubble bath. I light a few candles and strip my clothes off before dipping a foot inside the water. It's far too hot but right now I don't seem to care. I lower myself into the bath tub and grimace as the roasting hot water stings my skin. I wait for a few seconds for the sting to disappear and once the water feels comfortable I lay my head back and close my eyes.

I lay there for what must be well over an hour as my fingers now resemble prunes. I remove myself from the bathtub and pull the plug, watching today's stress swirl aimlessly down the drain.

I pick up the cardigan I was wearing today from the floor and retrieve the piece of paper that Clara gave me earlier, and I make my way back into my bedroom. I put a pair of shorts and a vest top on and sit on top of my bed, phone in hand.

I dial in her number and patiently wait for her to pick up.

 _"Hello?"_ She answers on the second ring, her voice sounding hoarse.

_"Clara? Hi it's Kaya."_

_"Oh Kaya dear, how are you?"_ She asks.

_"Uh, honestly, I'm not too good. I suggested Zayn go to the doctor and he didn't take it too well."_

_"Oh. That's disappointing to hear. What did he say?"_

_"He's adamant that his parents and sister live in America."_ I tell her and I hear a low whimper through the phone.

_"Clara? Are you okay?"_

_"Yes dear, I'm okay."_ She clears her throat and I hear her sniffle.

 _"I wish that were the case Kaya, I really do."_ She says and I can almost hear the sound of her heart breaking all over again.

 _"I'm sorry."_ I say because I don't know what else I can say.

_"It's okay, I mean, it's not okay-it never will be again. But it's getting better, it's getting easier."_

_"I'm glad to hear that it's getting better for you Clara, but I'm worried about Zayn. If he can't remember what happened, then he won't have had time to grieve and cope with it, and it's all just going to hit him at once."_ I tell her. The thought of that happening will surely have a knock on effect on me _._

_"I am too. I'm not sure what's going on and this is why we need to get him to a doctor."_

_"I know."_ I sigh _, "I can keep trying but I don't know what else I can do if he won't listen to me."_

_"I really appreciate your help Kaya, and I know Zayn will too in the long run."_

_"I really hope so."_ I say quietly.

_"I best get going now dear, but you call me anytime you need to okay? And please keep me updated."_

_"I will thanks Clara, bye."_

I lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling, suddenly feeling tiredness overwhelm me. As I close my eyes and descend deeper into the darkness, a mansion appears. _Zayn's mansion_. I start to panic and try to wake myself up but I can't. I'm stuck and then I'm falling, heading straight through the gates of the dark and derelict mansion.


	21. Chapter 21

I jolt awake, a layer of sweat clinging to my body for dear life, heart pounding rapidly. It takes me a few seconds to realise where I am but once my eyes adjust I see I'm lying on the couch. I don't remember falling asleep here, I was in my bed wasn't I? I phoned Clara and I fell asleep. I had a bad dream again. _Zayn's mansion_. A shudder escapes me and unnerves my whole body.

I push the sweat soaked hair out of my face and stand up and stretch. There's an ache in my neck so I try to move it around in different directions to release the tension.

I glance at the clock to see that it's just passed 4am. I look around for my phone but I don't see it anywhere so I head to my bedroom to have a look for it.

Sure enough I find it under my pillow and when I pick it up to have a look at it, my stomach sinks.

_5 Missed Calls - Zayn (3.57am)_

When someone calls you this late it usually only means one thing - bad news.

I shakily unlock my phone and call him back. I wait and wait and wait but his phone only rings out.

"Fuck."

I try again and he picks up on the sixth ring.

_"Zayn?"_

_"Kaya, baby."_ He says, his voice slightly slurred.

_"Are you drunk?"_

_"Little bit."_

_"Are you okay?"_ I ask and he laughs.

 _"Am I okay? Am I okay?"_ He repeats, seemingly questioning himself.

 _"I don't think I am."_ He eventually says.

_"What's wrong?"_

_"What's right?"_ He laughs again _._

_"Where are you Zayn?"_

_"Outside a pub."_

_"What're you doing?"_

_"Thinking about you."_ He says and my heart swells. He might be drunk but I'll take it.

 _"When are you going home?"_ I ask _._

 _"Home."_ He scoffs _. "I don't have a home."_ He says, his voice breaking _._

_"Do you want to come here?"_

_"Yeah. I'd like that."_ He says, his voice softening.

_"Okay, I'll see you soon?"_

_"I'll see you soon Kaya."_

About twenty minutes passes when I hear a knock on the door. I open up the door and there he is, leaning against the door frame, looking a bit worse for wear.

"I missed you." He says, opening his arms and pulling me into him.

"I missed you too." I tell him, inhaling his aftershave and the strong smell of alcohol lingering around his skin.

I close and lock the door behind him and take his hand, leading him into my bedroom.

"I'm sorry." He says, lying down on the bed.

"What for?" I ask, lying down beside him.

"Being a dick."

"You weren't a dick."

"I'm not crazy Kaya. I don't need to go to the doctor."

"I know you're not crazy Zayn, I just feel like you need some answers."

He sighs and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm scared." He says quietly.

"Of what?"

"My mind." He says.

"Why?" I ask, sitting up and moving closer to him.

"If I tell people what goes on in my mind, they'll think I'm fucked up."

"You're not fucked up Zayn. Anything you tell the doctor stays confidential, no one will think any different of you no matter what you say." I tell him.

"Especially not me." I say, taking his hand.

He sits up to face me and takes my other hand in his and sighs.

"Okay. I'll do it, I'll go to the doctor." He says, nodding.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him on the temple.

"Just please, don't leave me." He says in such a broken voice that I have to swallow down the lump in my throat to stop me from breaking down.

"Listen to me, okay?" I keep a tight grip on his hands. "I'm here for you, no matter what. I'm not leaving you." I tell him. "I'm in too deep now." I whisper with a quiet laugh.

"Thank you." He puts his hands on either side of my face and pulls my lips to his. This is different from any other kiss we've had. It's full of need, like he needs a distraction right now and I'm the only thing that can give it to him. He pulls back and kisses me on the forehead.

"Lay with me please." He asks, and so I do.

—

As I stand in front of the cooker - cracking an egg on the side of it - I seriously question myself, why am I not a chef? I'm not blowing my own trumpet or anything but my cooking is absolutely top notch. Granted I'm only making toast and egg but still, it smells pretty damn good. The eggs and toast along with the smell of coffee fills my nostrils and makes my stomach grumble.

I pull two glasses out from the cupboard and start to fill them with orange juice when Zayn walks into the kitchen, sleep evident on his face.

"Something smells good." He says sleepily, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Me? Yeah I know I smell amazing." I say, turning to face him. "All eggs and toast and coffee. My new perfume, you like?" I smile.

"Mmm. It's eggcellent." He says with a proud smile, closing his eyes and kissing my cheek.

"Oh you're very punny." I tell him.

"Do I crack you up?" He replies.

"No, your yolks are shit." I say.

"You think omelette that stop me?" He says and we both burst into laughter.

"It's too early in the morning for this." I say.

"It's never too early for puns."

"You're a loser."

"If I'm a loser, you're a loser."

"How romantic." I put a hand on my heart dramatically and he winks at me. Who said it was okay for him to do that so early in the morning?

"Grubs up." I say, plating up our eggs and toast.

We take a seat at the table and dig in.

"So." I say.

"So?" He says, lifting his head to look at me.

"Do you remember last night?" I ask.

He lets out a groan and goes back to eating his eggs. "Yeah." He nods, "yeah, I said I'd go to the doctors."

"You know I'll be there with you, right? I mean, if you want me to."

"I'd like you there, if you don't mind."

"Of course not. You can give the doctor a phone after breakfast?"

"Okay. Changing the subject," he raises his fork in the air and then points it to his plate, "these eggs are good." He says.

"Are they _eggcellent_?" I smirk.

"Simply _eggstra-ordinary_."

"Okay, okay." I laugh, raising my hands in surrender because I think I've had enough egg puns for the day.

We finish our food and Zayn calls his doctor, I wait in the living room while he stays in the kitchen on the phone. I watch the hands of the clock go by - they're going by slower than usual, probably due to the fact I'm staring at them and a watched pot never boils and all that.

He walks back into the living room and sits the phone down on the table. "They had a cancellation, they can see me this afternoon." He says.

"Okay." I say, standing up and walking towards him.

The nerves are practically radiating off of him so I wrap my arms around him and give him a hug. "It'll be fine, let's go get ready." He nods reluctantly and follows me out of the room.

—

"She said 12.30." Zayn says, leg bouncing up and down with nerves. "It's now," he looks at his phone, "12.43."

"They must be rushed off their feet." I tell him. The waiting room is absolutely packed and the room is overwhelmingly stifling.

"Yeah." He says quietly, his eyes lowering to the ground. His leg is still bouncing up and down so I place my hand on it to stop it.

"You'll be fine, relax." I tell him.

He just looks at me and nods, attempting a smile but failing miserably.

"Zayn Malik?" A nurse calls out into the crowded waiting room.

Zayn's looks like he's about to throw up his breakfast as he stands up.

"I'll be right here." I say and he just nods again before following the nurse.

I stare down at my hands, knotting and twisting them together as I wait. The waiting room seems to be getting louder and more stuffy by the minute. The sound of whispering and children crying and mindless chatter echoes around the room. The smell of antiseptic mixed with perfume and sweat fills the air and it's honestly becoming unbearable.

After what seems like an hour Zayn reappears in the waiting room, looking like he's either about to punch someone in the face or break down in tears.

"Did everything go okay?" I ask as he approaches me.

"I hate this place already." He says, taking hold of my hand and leading me out of the doctors.

"What happened?"

"They done all these tests, they had to take my blood. I fucking hate needles." He sighs.

"It'll be worth it once you find out what's going on." I say reassuringly, rubbing his back.

"Yeah." He says, unconvinced.

"It'll take a few days for my results to come back." He tells me.

"Right. I guess now we wait."

"Now we wait." He nods.


	22. Chapter 22

"Did we get new cooks or something?" I say to the rest of the office girls, screwing up my face as I bite into this poor excuse of a toastie.

"We must have." Madge says. "Either that or they've forgotten how to cook." She says, picking up the remains of her tuna pasta and throwing it into the bin.

I follow suit and throw the toastie in the bin too because it's as hard as a brick and honestly it tastes like shit. I walk over to the vending machine at the far end of the staff room. _Looks like I'm having crisps for lunch._

As I'm walking back to my seat, Zayn appears in the doorway and gestures for me to go over to him.

I follow him out into the corridor and he makes sure no one is around before placing a kiss on my lips. Pretty much everyone has gathered we're together now but still, I'd rather not show too much public affection in our workplace.

"You alright?" I ask, placing my hands on the front of his boiler suit.

"The doctor called about my results." He says, looking down at my hands.

"And?"

"I've to go and see him." He says quietly.

"Oh." I say.

"I'm fucked." He sighs.

"Hey, you're not fucked okay?" I lift his head up to look me in the eye.

"I know what you're thinking Kaya, I'm thinking the exact same thing. If it was good news he would've told me over the phone."

"Not necessarily." I tell him.

"Whatever, I don't even want to think about it." He shakes his head as if to get rid of any thoughts about test results.

"When have you to go see him?"

"After work." He says.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask.

"If you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. I told you I'm here for you, no matter what."

He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "Thank you."

—

As we sit in the waiting room, Zayn looks like he's about to throw up again.

I take his hand in mine and trace circles over it with my thumb, it seems to slightly calm him down.

The waiting room isn't as busy today, although still relatively busy. I'm not sure if I've gotten used to the smell of this place or I've become immune to it, either way I'm thankful that it doesn't make me want to gag anymore.

"Zayn Malik?" The doctor calls, smiling brightly. Zayn squeezes my hand and stands up and begins to walk over to the doctor.

He looks back at me and I give him a look that says _you going to be alright?_ And he nods slightly and gives me a smile that doesn't meet his eyes.

I notice a woman with three screaming children has sat down across from me, I was too busy looking at Zayn to notice before. As I take a look at her – just observing – something I do quite often, one of her children knocks over a magazine rack and magazines go flying everywhere.

She starts screaming at the child in the middle of the waiting room and I suddenly want to slap her in the face. The poor child looks mortified as he's told to clean the magazines up while the woman sits back in her seat uninterested. I walk over to where the boy is cleaning up the magazines and he looks as if he's about to burst into tears, he's only about six years old. I bend down and start helping him to pick up the magazines and his face just lights up. It absolutely warms my heart.

I glance up at the woman who is now glaring at me but honestly I couldn't give a shit. It was obviously an accident and the poor boy didn't deserve to be screamed at in front of a crowded waiting room. I can feel the deathly glare from the woman burning into the side of my head as I look away from her and continue picking up the magazines.

"Thank you for helping me." The little boy smiles at me when we're done.

"You're welcome." I smile back as I stand up and walk back to my seat, feeling much better than I did 10 minutes ago.

I look out of the window as I'm waiting and just take in the scene from outside. It's a lovely day outside, it's transitioning into summer and honestly I couldn't be happier. Just a week to go until the summer holidays and then I can relax.

"Can we go please?" Zayn interrupts my thoughts with an unreadable look on his face.

"Sure." I say, standing up and following him out of the waiting room. The little boy I helped earlier gives me a massive smile and a wave as I leave and I give him one back. I fight the urge to give his mother the middle finger as I walk by.

We get into the car and Zayn lets out a sigh and presses his forehead on the steering wheel.

"What happened?" I ask.

He leans back with his eyes closed and rests his head against the back of the seat, before opening his eyes and shifting his body to face me.

"He's referring me to a psychiatrist. He says there's nothing physically wrong with me." He says in an exasperated tone.

"But that's good though, that there's nothing physically wrong with you?"

A broken laugh escapes his lips, "just confirms that I'm crazy."

"Zayn will you stop saying that? You're not crazy, okay?"

"Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Yes I heard you, but that doesn't mean you're crazy."

"Whatever, I'm not going to a psychiatrist." He says, starting the car.

"Zayn..."

"Kaya, please, I really don't want to talk about this."

"Fine." I say, shrugging my shoulders and raising my hands in surrender.

I avert my eyes to the road outside and watch as we drive by people enjoying the weather. Zayn reaches over and takes my hand as we drive in silence. I don't think either of us really know what to say right now.

We arrive at my house and I get out of the car and start to head toward the front door. Zayn reaches out for my arm and pulls me back toward him. He leans back against the car and brings me closer to him, placing his hands on my waist.

"Are you mad at me?" He pouts, his dark hazel eyes looking much bigger than usual.

"No I'm not mad at you."

"Say that without looking like you want to slap me and I might believe it." He laughs.

I laugh with him and place my hands on his chest. "I'm not mad at you." I say.

"It's completely your choice and I'm not going to try and force you into anything. I just, I just thought maybe this would help? Give you answers you know?"

"I appreciate that Kaya, I really do. I just don't want to go see a psychiatrist."

"Okay." I nod. I can't exactly force him to do something that he doesn't want to do.

"Okay?" He asks, seemingly double checking my choice.

"Yep."

"Good." He places a kiss on my forehead. "Now I'm hungry, let's go eat."

We dump our shoes and jackets at the front door and head straight for the kitchen.

"What we having?" Zayn asks.

"Okay we have..." I open the fridge and start to have a look, "leftover pasta, stuff for omelettes, chicken?"

Zayn opens up the cupboard and has a look. "There's rice and stuff to make curry sauce, chicken curry?" He suggests.

"Sounds good."

I take the chicken and vegetables out of the fridge and Zayn retrieves the rice and ingredients for curry sauce from the cupboard.

I put on the radio as we start to cook dinner and soon enough we're singing along as we chop vegetables and boil the rice.

"Okay, taste this." I say, holding a spoon of sauce out to Zayn.

He tastes the sauce and immediately starts making some weird noise and starts flapping his tongue about like a dog and I can't help but burst into laughter.

"Too hot?" I laugh, getting him a glass of water.

He downs the contents immediately before answering, "I can't feel my tongue."

"Aw poor baby." I say in a childish tone.

"Was the curry too hot for wittle Zaynie?" I tease.

He backs me into the kitchen counter and I squeal as he grips my thighs and lifts me on to it.

He places a warm kiss on my jaw and my breath hitches as his hot breath trails down my neck. "Not as hot as you." He says and a shiver runs up my spine as his lips connect with my neck.

He places a trail combination of kisses and sucking up my neck until he reaches my jaw again. He lifts his face so it's just inches away from mine. He leans in and I close my eyes but when I don't feel his lips on mine after a few seconds I open them again.

He's standing there with the most smug look on his face as he walks away from me and starts to stir the curry sauce. "That's for in the car the other day." He smirks.

"You asshole." I say, struggling to stop the smile appearing on my face.

"Don't tease a teaser babe." He says, raising an eyebrow at me.

"You'll live to regret that Malik." I tell him.

"We'll see." He smiles, walking back over to me and wrapping his arms around me. 

—

_I'm on a roll today. I've been writing for like hours now and my hand is cramped and I can't even move it. Plus it's like 2am and I'm tired so bedtime for me! Hope you liked the updates and I'll have some more for you tomorrow :)_

_–S x_


	23. Chapter 23

"I'll see you soon." I tell Madge as she hugs me tight, her musky perfume filling my nostrils.

"You have a good summer, sweetheart." She says.

"You too Madge." I smile. I wave at her as she heads for her car and I continue waving until her car has exited through the gates.

I'm standing in the car park waiting for Zayn to come out of the school. The sun is absolutely splitting the trees. There's not a cloud in the sky and I honestly could not ask for a better day to start the summer on. The pupils finished for the summer a few days ago so the car park is fairly empty now, with the exception of a few teachers.

As I lean back against the brick wall I spot Zayn exiting the school with his boiler suit rolled down and wrapped around his waist and my heart rate accelerates rapidly.

"Hey you." Zayn says brightly once he reaches me, kissing me and pulling me into a hug.

"Hi." I smile, voice slightly muffled as I cuddle into his chest.

"We should celebrate." He says.

"That it's summer?"

"Of course, what else?"

"I like your way of thinking." I tell him.

He takes my hand and we start walking through the car park to his car.

He turns the radio on and upbeat music fills the car. I'm extremely happy right now and the music only adds to the excitement simmering away inside of me.

"I'm taking you out tonight." Zayn says when we arrive at my house.

"Oh, are you now?"

"I am indeed. So go get your pretty little self ready and I'll be back to pick you up soon, okay?"

"Okay." I say, leaning over to kiss him before getting out of the car.

The first thing I do when I get into the house is put music on. With happy music blasting through the air, I grab a few towels from the hall cupboard and head for the shower.

I take my time exfoliating, washing and conditioning my hair and shaving my legs as I sing along to the music. I eventually turn off the shower and step out, wrapping a fluffy towel around me.

I just sit in my towel and relax for a while as I moisturise, do my nails and hair and put my makeup on.

I wait till the very last minute to put my clothes on as I'm wearing a white dress and I don't want to get it dirty. I put on my nude coloured heels and blazer before putting what I need into a small clutch bag. I grab my phone just as a car horn beeps outside. I quickly spray some perfume on myself and head out the door.

"You should wear white more often." Zayn says, holding the passenger door opened for me.

"Is that so?" I say, climbing into the car and putting my seatbelt on.

"Mhm. You look very...angelic."

"There's a first." I laugh.

"You look beautiful." He says, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"So do you." I say back with a smile. That's an understatement. He just looks _wow_. I don't usually tend to find males beautiful but that's obviously because I'd never met Zayn.

He just smiles shyly back at me and turns the radio on.

"So where are we going?" I ask.

"You like Mexican food, right?"

"No, I hate Mexican food." I say and his face completely drops.

"Are you kidding?" He asks.

"Yes." I laugh.

He gives me a cute little scowl. "You were eating it whether you liked it or not." He says.

"Feisty." I say with raised eyebrows.

"Do you know how hard it is to get a reservation in this place? They're literally booked months in advance." Zayn tells me. "The only reason we got a reservation is because there was a cancellation."

"Must be our lucky night." I smile and he picks up my hand and kisses it.

"Must be." He says.

We're shown to our table in the busy little Mexican restaurant and we wait patiently for our food and drinks to arrive. Uplifting music plays throughout the restaurant and the whole place is bright in colour - from the tiles on the floor to the ceiling.

"I have a proposition for you." Zayn says.

"Go on." I say.

"So my uncle will be gone for a few weeks on a work trip." He looks at his watch, "actually he'll be leaving right about now." He tells me.

"Yeah?" I say, not quite sure where he's going with this.

"How about we spend some time at mine? We have a pool and a hot tub." He says, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh a pool _and_ a hot tub?" I say. "Sounds like a lot of fun."

"So, you game?" He asks.

"Definitely game." I tell him.

We order nachos to share to begin with and then chicken fajitas, washed down with a few virgin margaritas because Zayn's driving.

"No wonder this place is hard to get a reservation, it's amazing." I say as I finish off my chicken fajitas.

"I'm surprised you can even taste it, the majority of it is on your face." He says, picking up his napkin and handing it to me.

"That's a sign of a good meal." I tell him, wiping my cheek with the napkin.

"It's a sign of a 6 year old child." He laughs.

"Do you want me to smear this fajita all over your face?"

"Only if you lick it off." He smirks.

"Oh, dirty talk." I laugh.

I turn round to see an older woman at the table next to us staring at me in absolute shock and Zayn and I burst into laughter before she swiftly turns away. _Shouldn't be listening in to our conversation anyway._

"You're terrible." Zayn says.

"Excuse me, I wasn't the one talking about licking things off."

"Don't pretend you don't want to lick fajita sauce from my face."

"You're weird as fuck, you know that?" I say.

"That's why we're so compatible." He smiles.

"Touché."

"Are you ready to go?" He asks.

I pick up my drink and down the remains, "yep." I tell him, licking the bitter lemon taste from my lips.

As we're walking back to Zayn's car I catch sight of the headlines of a poster on a lamppost.

**Missing Person**   
**Darryl Breylin**

My heart aches and I suddenly want to bring my food right back up. With each day that goes on that Darryl hasn't been found, my hope wavers. It's not fair. He should be enjoying his summer like everybody else but he's not. Instead he's somewhere nobody knows, away from his family and friends.

"Hey." Zayn spots me looking at the poster and puts his arms around me.

"He'll be okay, we just need to stay positive." He says, wiping away the tears I wasn't even aware that were falling.

I just nod at him because if I try to speak I'll probably get even more emotional than I already am.

"Show me that beautiful smile." He says, tracing his thumbs over my cheeks and down to my jawline.

I muster up the best possible smile I can manage but he sees right through it.

"I know you can do better than that." He squeezes my hips and starts to tickle me and soon I can't control my laughter.

"Okay, okay!" I squeal, squirming around in his arms.

"That's more like it." He leans down and places a kiss on my forehead.

He opens the car door for me and I climb inside and turn the radio on.

"Do you want to come to mine tonight then?" Zayn asks.

"I'd love to." I tell him.

"We'll go to yours first and get some stuff then."

"Okay." I tell him, fiddling with the radio because there's some opera music on that just doesn't seem fitting for tonight. I find a song that sounds summery so I keep it on and look out of the window as we drive.

The sun is still out despite it being past 8pm. That's one of the things I love the most about summer. Every single person we pass has a smile on their face and it's really refreshing to see.

We arrive at my house and we both get out of the car and head for the front door.

"Okay, what should I bring?" I ask Zayn, heading straight for my bedroom.

"Clothes for a few days. And a bikini." He says, a smile spreading across his face.

"Perv." I say and he holds his hands up in surrender.

"Will you grab my toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom please?" I ask.

"What did your last slave die of?" He says, walking out of the room and up the hall.

"Not doing what he was told." I smile.

"You're lucky I like you." He says, walking back into my room with the toiletries.

"I feel so honoured."

I grab a bag and shove a few outfits and bikinis in, along with everything else I think I'll need.

"I think that's me." I tell him, standing up and sitting my bag on top of the bed.

"Well it's about time." He says, picking my bag up from the bed and walking out of my bedroom door. I lift my leg and lightly kick his ass as he walks out.

I lock my front door and Zayn puts my bag in the boot of the car as I climb inside.

"That us sorted then?" Zayn asks as he climbs into the car.

"All sorted." I tell him.

"Good. I'm looking forward to having you over."

"I'm looking forward to it too." I tell him.


	24. Chapter 24

As we arrive at Zayn's, I gulp down the nerves that are trying to climb up my throat and out of my mouth. I look at the mansion in front of me and it's the polar opposite of the one from my nightmares.

The sky is a piercing shade of blue and the sun casts a brightness all around us - particularly on the mansion. The fact I'll be with Zayn makes me feel more at ease. He wouldn't let anything happen to me, right?

The massive steel gates open up for us and we drive up the stone driveway. Zayn gets out of the car first and retrieves my bag from the boot.

"Ready?" He asks, taking my hand and heading for the front doors.

"Mhm." I nod.

He unlocks the door and pushes them open with a deafening screech. I cringe as I recall the last time I was here - recalling the doors screeching loudly through the silent rooms.

He closes the door behind us and starts to walk up the hall to his bedroom.

"I'll just put your stuff in here then we'll go get a drink, yeah?"

"Sounds good." I tell him.

There's a slight tension in my bones as we enter his bedroom, a shiver runs up my spine as I remember finding him in here doubled over in pain on the floor.

I take my clothes out of the bag and Zayn gives me some hangers to hang them up so they don't get wrinkled.

"You okay?" Zayn asks, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. He places a soft kiss on my shoulder as I finish putting my clothes in the wardrobe.

"I'm good." I say, turning round and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"What to do first?" He asks.

"Well, it was my understanding that we would be going to get a drink." I say with raised eyebrows.

"Drinks it is then." He smiles and leads me out of the bedroom and back up the long hall.

"Wow." I say as we enter the massive kitchen.

It's airy and spacious and the worktops are all sleek black marble with a slight silver glint in it, as are the floors. There's a huge double-doored fridge placed next to a silver dishwasher. There's a shiny black cupboard next to the dishwasher and I find myself wondering what's in there, as the rest of the cupboards are white.

"Drinks cabinet." Zayn tells me, seemingly reading my thoughts.

He walks over to the cabinet and opens it up revealing a shit load of alcohol. Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, you name it - it's there.

"Looks like we're in for a good night." I smile.

"What's your poison?" He asks me.

"Let's make venoms."

"What the fuck is a venom?" He looks at me with legit fear in his eyes.

"It's a cocktail."

"Sounds...venomous." He says, giving me an adorable smile.

I try to glare at him for that poor attempt at a joke but his smile just melts it away.

"Pitcher and glasses are in there." He says, pointing to a cupboard near the fridge. "So what do we need for a venom?"

I retrieve the pitcher and glasses from the cupboard and then drop some ice cubes into the glasses.

"Vodka, Southern Comfort, Blue WKD and orange juice." I tell him.

"The Blue WKD and orange juice are in the fridge." He says, pulling out the rest of the bottles from the cupboard.

He brings the bottles to the kitchen counter as I take the remaining drinks out of the fridge.

"Is this going to kill me?" He asks as I pour a shot of vodka and Southern Comfort into the glasses.

"Possibly." I tell him.

"Oh. That's smashing then."

"But you'll love it." I add the Blue WKD and top it off with orange juice.

"I'll take your word for it." He says, unconvinced.

I grab two straws and put them in the glasses and give the drink a stir.

"Is it supposed to be neon green?"

"Yep." I lift up the glass and hand it to him and he brings it to his nose to smell it.

"Interesting."

I take a sip of the drink through the straw and watch as Zayn does the same. His face turns to a picture of shock to confusion to acceptance and maybe even a little appreciation.

"Verdict?" I ask.

"It's surprisingly good." He says, nodding his head in approval.

"It's like summer in a glass." He adds.

"Told you you'd like it."

"Do they get you drunk?" He asks.

"Well considering the amount of alcohol in them and the fact they're called venoms, I'll let you decide."

"So we're going to be fucked then?"

"Well and truly fucked." I smile.

—

A jug and a half of venoms later and my brain is a fuzzy ball of happiness. We're lying on sun loungers in Zayn's back garden even though the sun disappeared like two hours ago but _fuck it,_ we're a little too pissed to care.

"I'm hungry." I tell Zayn.

"I need a whizz." He says.

"Seems we're in a predicament, Malik." I say in a weird voice that's supposed to sound like an army official, don't ask why.

"Seems we are, Greyson." He says in an equally weird voice that sounds a bit like Kermit the Frog.

"Right, you go whizz. I'll take the empty glasses into the kitchen. Then we'll get food." I tell him.

"Yes ma'am." He says, quickly jumping from his seat and heading inside. I grab the empty glasses and pitcher and follow him.

"Be quick or I'll eat all the food myself."

He gives me the middle finger as he opens the bathroom door. I turn the kitchen light on and put the glasses and pitcher into the sink before walking over to the cupboards.

My eyes land on an empty bottle of water on the kitchen counter and I stop moving. I stand frozen on the spot looking at it, questioning whether or not it was there earlier. I desperately try to rack my brains for the answer but the alcohol clouding my mind is making it difficult.

"Hey." Zayn says, his voice startling me and causing me to jump.

"Holy shit." I breathe, clutching at my chest because I'm pretty sure my heart just exploded inside of me.

"What's got you so worked up?" He asks, coming closer to me and pulling me into a hug.

"Nothing." I say, cuddled into his chest. I shift my head to the side and I catch sight of the kitchen windows. It's pitch black outside but the light from the kitchen is reflecting brightly in the window, stopping me from seeing anything outside. It unnerves me and soon my imagination is running wild and my mind starts to wander to the places you never want your mind to go - _is someone out there watching us?_

"Can we close the blinds in here?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure." Zayn says, pulling back and walking over to the windows to pull the blinds down.

Suddenly I don't have an appetite anymore but I don't want to tell Zayn that.

"What do you want to eat then?" He asks.

"Just some crisps will do." I say, avoiding telling him about the ridiculous thoughts I'm having.

As we walk out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom there's a wave of nerves cascading in my stomach. I don't know if it's the alcohol or not but right now I feel extremely uneasy about being in this mansion. This place seems far too big for the both of us - we're like two minuscule ants trudging along an open path, barely noticeable to the human eye, ready to get flattened.

A few hours pass and Zayn is sound asleep lying next to me. I lie in the darkness staring at the ceiling although I can't see anything. I've worried myself to sobriety.

It's 3am and all the unwanted thoughts are creeping to the surface. They're viciously clawing at my mind, forcing me to try and relive my nightmare. It gets the worst at night, doesn't it? Because the darkness isn't just trying to control your mind this time. It surrounds your whole body. It engulfs you and consumes you and swallows you whole.

And once the darkness batters and bruises and taints your imagination, there's no going back.

—

 


	25. Chapter 25

The feeling of Zayn nuzzling into my neck wakes me from my sleep - his stubble lightly scratches at my skin, but it's comforting.

"Good morning." He says sleepily.

I open my eyes to look at him and his eyes are still closed.

"Morning." I say, my hand finding his hair and gently playing with it.

He finally opens his eyes with a sleepy smile and I find myself wondering _how_ _does he look so good in the morning?_

I don't even remember drifting off last night. The majority of the night was spent worrying, I must've worried myself to sleep.

"Did you sleep well?" He asks, lifting one of his legs and wrapping it around mine.

"Yeah I did." I lie, because I'd rather not tell him about the stupid thoughts that I was having.

"Hungry?" He asks, untangling himself from my body and standing up from the bed.

"Little bit." I tell him. I'm not usually that hungry first thing in the morning but right now I think I'd eat a horse.

"I'm ravenous." He says, bending down to pick up a pair of grey joggers from the floor.

"You're always ravenous." I say, enjoying the view as he pulls the joggers up his legs and over his boxers, the muscles in his back and thighs flexing as he does.

"So are you." He says. He doesn't bother putting a t-shirt on which I am definitely not complaining about.

"True." I say as he outstretches his arms and pulls me up from the bed.

We walk into the kitchen and Zayn opens up the blinds, letting the sun illuminate the room.

The mansion is completely different in the light of day. I don't feel as edgy and uneasy when the sun is shining through the rooms.

"What'd you fancy?" He asks, opening up the fridge and staring intently into it.

"You." I say, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.

"You're such a cheeseball." He laughs.

"You love it." I snuggle my face into the soft skin of his bare back.

"I do." He says, moving his hands to my forearms.

"No but seriously, I kinda fancy a bagel." I say.

"Good shout."

He searches the large freezer for bagels until he finally finds them and pops them in the toaster. I take the margarine and cream cheese from the fridge.

"Coffee?" I ask.

"Please." He says.

"What'd you take?" I switch the kettle on and take two mugs from the cupboard.

"Milk and two sugars." He tells me.

"Such a copycat."

"I'm older than you, so technically you're the copycat."

"You're older by a month! It doesn't count." I say.

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"You have the mentality of a six year old." I laugh.

"That would be a more defendable argument if you didn't just spend thirty seconds of your life playing _yes it does, no it doesn't_ with me."

I give him the middle finger as I pour the boiling water into the mugs. I look back over at him and he's pouting like a child. I blow him a kiss and a smile replaces the pout. All good.

I carry the coffees to the breakfast bar and sit them down as Zayn finishes spreading the cheese on the bagels.

"We make a good team we do." Zayn says, placing the plates in front of us.

"That we do." I say, hi-fiving him.

After clearing up the plates and mugs we head back to Zayn's room to get our swimwear. The sun is shining again and we're going to spend the day outside at the pool. _The outside pool. Because he also has one indoors._ _How_ _fancy._

The water feels cool and refreshing against my skin as I lay back and relax in it, basking in the sunshine.

"You coming in?" I call out to Zayn as he lies on a sun lounger.

"Nope." He replies.

"Why not?"

"I can't swim." He says.

I climb out of the pool and quickly dry myself before joining Zayn on the sun lounger.

"I didn't know that." I say.

"Yeah, I've never been a big fan of the water." He tells me. "When I was younger I was taking swimming lessons with my school and I absolutely hated it."

"I always dreaded going but it was mandatory." He continues. "Anyway, this one time I fell backwards in the water and nearly drowned. It was horrible." He says, and I place my hand on his leg to try and comfort him as it's evident he's getting upset recalling this memory.

"The water started to fill my lungs and I couldn't breathe. My arms and legs were flapping about like mad and that just made me panic even more. I somehow managed to get to the side of the pool and drag myself out, I don't know how I managed it."

"Didn't anyone help you?"

"They thought I was kidding, messing around y'know? They only realised after I'd managed to get out and was struggling to catch a breath."

"That's awful." I say.

"Yeah. I'd love to be able to swim but I just can't, every time I think about trying to learn I just remember that feeling of not being able to breathe and I just can't do it."

"Anyway, let's not talk about that." He says, forcing a smile and taking my hand in his.

"Okay." I say, drawing circles on his hand with my thumb.

"You still haven't given me the grand tour of this place." I tell him.

"Honestly, I haven't had the tour myself. I spend the majority of time in my room. Room, kitchen, pool, cinema room. That's it." He says.

"You have a cinema room?" I ask, suddenly getting a little excited.

"Yep." He smiles.

"We can use it tonight." He adds and I try my best not to squeal like a little child.

"Exciting." I say as calmly as I possibly can.

"How about we explore together then? See what we can find in this place." He says.

"Sounds intriguing, let me get changed first though." I'd rather not traipse about this place in only a bikini.

He puts on a sad face and I swat him on the arm for his perverted thoughts.

The first floor has the kitchen, the laundry, the indoor pool room, Zayn's bedroom, a bathroom, a few guest bedrooms and some random cupboards full of junk.

We climb up the grand staircase to the second floor and are presented with pretty much the same as the first, with the exception of a games room and the cinema room.

The walls of the games room are painted a bright red colour with pine wooden floors. There's a pool table in the middle of the floor, a pinball machine, video game machines and a large plasma screen on the wall, with various games consoles hooked up to it.

I'm not really one for playing games but trust me if I had a room like this at my house, I would be.

Then we get to the cinema room and I honestly feel like I've just walked into my idea of heaven. A massive cinema screen covers the whole front wall. There are about ten seats split into two rows. They look more like couches rather than seats, let's call them _mini couches_. At the back of the room there's a small bar type counter. There's a popcorn machine, a slush machine and a nacho machine, along with stands of various different chocolate and crisps. Beside it there's a small fridge filled different drinks.

"Holy shit." I say with an uncontrollable smile on my face.

"C'mere." Zayn says, taking my hand and leading up to a door at the back of the room.

He opens the door to reveal what must be thousands of DVDs. The walls act as shelves and the DVDs cover all four walls of the room.

"This is incredible." I say.

"Pretty much any film you want." He tells me.

"Wow."

"We'll spend tonight in here, yeah?" He says.

I nod because I can't actually think of any other words to say that aren't _wow_ or _holy shit._ As we walk back out of the cinema room I'm still in awe of what I've just seen. I thought my DVD collection of around 70 DVDs was big but this is amazing.

We climb the stairs again to the third floor which is pretty much derelict. The hallway is bright - with the sun creeping in through the windows, and the walls are lined with paintings much like the other floors. The rooms are filled with junk so we carry on up to the next floor.

At the top of the stairs there's a set of steel doors which is odd because none of the other floors have that. We give each other a confused look before Zayn pushes the door open. It screeches a little but not nearly as much as the front door.

The long hallway is dark and dull except for a few flickering candles lining the walls. It's a complete contrast to every other floor in this house.

As we step into the hallway an eerie silence falls upon us.


	26. Chapter 26

We walk very slowly up the hallway - any slower and we'd be walking backwards. None of us saying a word because it's far too quiet and the sound of our voices would surely be too harsh against the silence. We communicate with our eyes and I know the both of us are thinking the same thing. _Get the fuck out of here and don't come back._ But neither of us seem to make any attempt to leave, instead we continue up the hall.

The flames from the candles flicker with every step we take, as if some kind of morse code warning us not to go any further. The overwhelming sense of uneasiness courses through my blood and settles deep in my bones. We stand in front of the first door and Zayn reaches for the door handle. The nerves in my stomach reach an all time peak as he twists the handle to the side. He tries to push the door forward but it doesn't budge.

"Locked." He mouths, and I furrow my eyebrows at him. Of all the rooms we've come across in this place, every single one of them have been unlocked.

We move on to the next door and it's the exact same. We get about halfway up the hallway and one finally budges. We hold our breath as we open the door and walk through.

The room is large and dimly lit - a dull lamp in the corner being the only light in the room. The windows are boarded up and not an ounce of sunlight from outside peeks through.

A wooden four poster bed is placed in the middle of the room. A wardrobe and chest of drawers sits across from the bed and a suitcase lays on the floor in front of it.

"Whose room is this?" I whisper.

"I have no idea." Zayn whispers back.

"Your uncle?"

"He's out of town." He says.

"He's _supposed_ to be out of town." He adds.

"Is that his stuff in the suitcase?" I whisper.

He kneels down beside the case and has a look inside.

"There's men and women's clothes in here." He tells me.

"What the fuck?"

I spot the en-suite so I slowly open the door and walk in to have a look around. The interior is much the same as the rest of the bathrooms in the house. I step towards the sink and take a look in the mirror above it. I take a deep breath and just stand there for a few moments, taking in my reflection. Beside the sink I spot men's aftershave, woman's perfume and a lipstick.

"Zayn?" I whisper.

"Yeah?" He says, walking into the bathroom.

"Does your uncle wear this aftershave?" I ask, lifting the bottle so he can smell it.

"No, I don't think so. Not that I've noticed." He says, sitting the bottle back down on the sink.

"Someone's definitely staying in here. Or has stayed here recently. The bed has been slept in." Zayn says.

"I never heard anyone come in." I say.

"Neither did I."

Suddenly it dawns on me.

"The water bottle."

"What?" Zayn asks, confused.

"Last night when we were clearing the drinks away, there was an empty water bottle on the counter. I couldn't recall if it had been there before but now I remember it wasn't."

"It wasn't yours was it?" I ask.

"No, I didn't go into the kitchen all night." He says.

"So someone was in there?" I ask, a chill running up my spine at the mere thought of someone being in the house while we were asleep.

"Someone _is_ in here." He says.

"Fuck."

"I don't want to stay in this room any longer." Zayn says, taking my hand and leading me back out to the hallway.

Now we know someone is obviously in the mansion, we're unnerved. Not only do we want to know _who_ is in the mansion, we want to know _why_ they're here.

Zayn silently questions me if I want to keep going and I nod. Despite the fear I feel deep in my gut, there's a surprising confidence resting in the background. It might be only a sliver but it's something. I don't know if it's the fact that Zayn is here or not, but either way I'm ready to find some answers.

We pass by more doors and each of them are locked. We reach the end of the hallway and to our surprise, there's another hallway leading off of it. The rest of the floors have only one hallway so this just adds to our confusion.

We walk up the other hallway and it's the exact same - locked doors. We get halfway up the hall and just as Zayn reaches for the door handle, the candles begin to flicker. My heart begins beating rapidly and I can feel the hairs on my neck stand up.

I reach for Zayn's hand and grip it tightly just as everything goes pitch black.

"Zayn." I say, my voice shaking.

"I'm here, I'm here." He says, pulling me close to him.

My blood runs cold as I hear that all too familiar sound from my nightmares - something being dragged along the ground. _No no no no no._

"What the fuck is that?" Zayn says.

"Zayn, get me out of here." I plead, the panic crawling all over my skin like a thousand spiders.

"Come on." He says, pulling me in front of him and guiding me forward.

The sound is getting closer and closer and I feel as if my body is seconds away from seizing up and passing out. Zayn's hands on my back are the only things keeping me from doing so.

This is a literal nightmare come to life and I can't concentrate on anything other than whatever this _thing_ is, catching me.

It gets louder and louder and I feel as though it's right behind us now. The panic in my body has sent me into shock and I suddenly can't move. I feel Zayn's hands push harder on my back and I'm thankful at this moment that he's here, otherwise I would've been caught by now.

I'm pulled into a room and the door is slammed shut behind us. I warily open my eyes and Zayn wraps his arms around me.

"You're okay, you're okay." He says, stroking my hair and trying to soothe me.

"What was that?" I ask quietly, my voice unable to go any louder.

"I don't know." He says.

We finally take in our surroundings and realise we're in a bedroom much like the one we found earlier.

"C'mon, there's the bathroom. Let's get you calmed down." Zayn says, taking my hand and leading me to the en-suite.

He pushes the door opened and an overwhelming pungent smell of rotting human flesh smothers us. I instantly gag and tears brim in my eyes as I take in the sight in front of me.

_No no no no no!_

"Oh god." Zayn says, covering his mouth with his hand.

Everything around me goes blurry as I collapse to my knees.

I feel Zayn's arms grip around me and I think he's speaking but I can't hear anything except muffled screams, I think the noise is coming from me but I'm not sure.

I start hyperventilating and I can't catch a breath. The smell in the room hits the back of my throat and I can feel the bile begin to rise.

_No no no no!_

The saltiness of my tears is all I can taste as I close my eyes and shake my head to desperately get rid of the picture in my mind but it's useless.

All I see is Darryl Breylin.

His lifeless body slumped in the corner, surrounded by a pool of his own dried up blood. A deep gash is evident on his throat and every inch of his body is covered in dry, flaky blood.

I open my eyes again just as something harshly smacks me on the back of the head, sending me flying forward towards Darryl's body. I try to scream but my brain has turned woozy and doesn't seem to be sending signals to my body anymore. I land on the hot, dried blood on the floor and I desperately try to move but I'm incapable of doing such a thing. Everything is turning darker around me and I feel as if my body is floating. I try to say Zayn's name and I listen - waiting for it to leave my mouth. But it never does.


	27. Chapter 27

I don't know what's happening. My head is pounding rapidly - pain spreading all around it. The back of my hair feels matted and wet and I'm positive I'm bleeding. My brain still feels fuzzy and I can't process any of my thoughts. I'm positive it's seconds away from exploding inside my skull. I'm warm, too warm. Stifling actually. I'm struggling to breathe. My mouth feels tight and constricted and I can't move my body. All I can see is darkness. There's something over my face. It's scratching my skin and it's warm and heavy. I'm partially aware that I'm struggling to breath but it hasn't quite sunk in yet, which is fine by me. The longer I can prolong the panic the better. I feel like my body is in a state of shock and I'm unable to feel anything. My hands are pulled back tightly and bound - the pain shooting up my arm due to the angle they're being pulled in.

All at once the soul crushing memory of being thrown towards Darryl's lifeless body hits me like a freight train and I feel extremely nauseous. I try to move my body as much as I can. I try to thrash against the ropes around my wrists but it only causes me more pain. I shake my head from side to side to try and get this _thing_ off of my face but it backfires completely when the pain in my head multiplies and everything goes blurry, and then black.

—

I don't know how long I drift in and out of consciousness for. I have no clue where I am. I don't know where Zayn is. I want to call out for him but I can't speak. I can hear muffled voices, a man's voice, and then a woman's voice. I don't know what they're saying. I can't hear properly - I feel as though I've got water in my ears. My eyelids begin to feel heavy again and I try my damnedest to open them and fight the darkness, but it's just too strong.

—

I don't know how long has passed before I open my eyes again, but there's nothing on my head anymore and I've cooled down significantly. My eyes are still slightly blurry but I manage to take in my surroundings.

The room is dark and dingy. Nothing like any of the bedrooms in this place. It's like a cell, the walls look like they're made of steel and there's metal bars over the windows. The only light is a candle on a table behind me. The room is completely empty except for a television in the corner. My eyes scan slowly round the room until I see a sight that slices my heart in two. Zayn.

Tied to a chair with his hands and feet bound like mine. His head is hung low, eyes closed, blood stains on his face.

"Zayn?" I whisper. Nothing.

"Zayn?" I plead, tears brimming in my eyes.

_Please wake up Zayn. Please, please wake up. I need you._

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to wake up." A voice disturbs my pleading thoughts.

My head snaps up and I stare at the man in front of me, utter confusion setting in.

"Wha-what?" I manage to croke out in my confused state. I don't understand. What is he doing here?

"Surprised to see me?" He mocks.

"What's going on?" I manage to ask, my voice not daring to go any louder than a whisper.

"What's the matter, Kaya? Aren't you happy to see me?" He smiles.

He begins to walk closer to me and that's when it finally sinks in - it's Mr Hedshaw.

He takes a strand of my hair in his hand and lightly tugs at it making me shudder. The thought of him touching me is making my skin crawl.

"My dear Kaya," he says, "such a beautiful girl." His hand grazes over my cheek. My insides are turning and I have to fight the urge to be sick at the feeling of his skin on mine.

Suddenly he lifts his hand and smacks me full force across the face. My face stings and I can feel my body heating up rapidly.

He forcefully grabs my chin and pulls my face forward. "But you had to fuck it all up by getting involved with this...delinquent." He says, gesturing towards Zayn.

"Don't talk about him like that." I say, the pain suddenly dissolving to anger. He just laughs in my face and it riles me up even more.

"He's useless. He's a poor excuse of a man." He laughs.

"You don't fucking know him." I say, raising my voice.

"Oh, but I do." He laughs again.

"His uncle keeps me well informed." He says, a smug grin appearing on his face.

So his uncle _is_ involved in this, whatever this is.

"You shouldn't be with someone like him. He's weak, he can't even handle a beating." He says.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, my blood running cold.

Just at that moment Zayn's uncle walks into the room with a nasty looking grin on his face.

"Oh he didn't tell you? Of course he didn't." He says. "Why would he tell the girl he's fucking that he gets his ass beat almost every night?" He laughs viciously.

My heart sinks to the very pit of my stomach as I recall finding Zayn doubled over in pain, clutching his ribs. I knew he didn't fall down the stairs. I think about the scar on the back of his neck. I should've talked to him about it. He could've told me the truth and he could've gotten away from his uncle. He could've stayed with me. The thought of this horrible, horrible man laying a finger on Zayn feels like a knife straight through my heart.

"You're sick." I say and the both of them begin to laugh, mocking me.

"You're sick, you sick bastards!" I shout, my voice raising higher and higher until it turns into a deafening scream. _Please, someone hear me. Please, someone hear me._

Zayn's uncle raises his fist and the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth as it brutally connects with my face.

I clench my jaw, trying to ignore the pain surging through my face. Trying not to let these sick fucks see that they've hurt me.

"What's all the noise about in here?" A woman's voice calls from the hallway, then she steps through the door.

"No." I say, shaking my head. _No no no no no._

"I'm sorry, Kaya." Madge says, lowering her eyes to the ground.

"How could you?" I ask, tears forming in my eyes. The betrayal stings me like a bee leaving its venom in my skin.

"I never wanted this to happen." She says.

"D-Darryl? Were you part of that?

She nods.

"Oh my god." I choke, tears running down my cheeks.

"I didn't want you to get caught up in this Kaya. I really do care about you."

"So let us go." I say.

"I can't do that dear."

"You're twisted, I can't believe this." _This can't be true. It can't be._

"Don't call me that." She says, walking closer to me.

"It's true, how could you? How could you do that? To a poor innocent boy?" I say, struggling to understand the reasoning behind any of this.

She lurches forward and grips her hand around my throat. "He was far from innocent. You know nothing about the situation. So shut your mouth, shut your filthy little mouth." She digs her nails into my neck before moving her hand up to my chin and gripping it tightly.

"Do you strangle everybody you care about?" I manage to say.

"Shut up." She scowls.

"You're full of shit." I say, the sting of betrayal turning to one of pure anger.

"You know what I need." She says to Zayn's uncle. He gives her a smile before retrieving a box from his pocket.

"Open it." She orders, and he does as he's told. He pulls out a syringe and I feel as though my heart has just stopped. He hands it to her and she glares at me before stabbing it into my neck. I exhale harshly as the needle pierces my skin and I feel the liquid swimming into my bloodstream.

"You bitch!" I spit, before everything around me turns hazy.


	28. Chapter 28

"Kaya?" A voice whispers, echoing around me.

"Kaya, please." The voice says, cracking at the last word.

Everything around me is dark. I look down and I can see myself - a small version of me. I'm standing in a room with black floors, black walls and a black ceiling. Everything is just _black_. But there's a small white light in the middle of the ceiling. I squint my eyes to look at it but when I do, it burns my eyes.

"Can you hear me? Please wake up." The voice pleads.

The voice seems to be coming from the light in the ceiling. It's familiar. It creates a warmth deep in my stomach. I keep morphing to the smaller version of me standing in the room, and then back to the normal version of me - standing overhead, looking down.

"Fuck." The voice quietly cries.

"Fuck." It repeats, louder this time.

The voice then lowers and continues mumbling a string of fucks. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_. Until it finally hits me that it's Zayn's voice.

"Zayn?" I call out.

No reply.

"Zayn?" I shout, my voice bouncing off of the black walls and right back to me.

"Please wake up, Kaya." He pleads, and my heart rate intensifies just by the sound of his voice.

"I'm awake Zayn, I'm awake!" I tell him.

"Open your eyes for me. Just open your eyes Kaya, please." He sobs.

_Can't he hear me?_

"They're opened Zayn. Can't you hear me? I'm here." I say, confused.

"This is all my fault. This is all my fault." He says.

"It's not your fault Zayn." I shout, and I suddenly feel frustrated that he isn't replying to me. And then it hits me that he can't hear me.

_Because I'm unconscious._

His voice is there, calling to me, trying to pull me out of my unconscious slumber. I begin to panic at the thought of not waking up. I'm trying my hardest to open my eyes but I'm not sure how to. Then Zayn says my name again and the panic disappears and is replaced by that comfortable feeling again and it all makes sense. He's my safe haven - he's the one who can get me out of this. With every word he says something inside of me clicks - as if he's reaching his hands into this room to try and pull me out. I plead with him in my mind to keep talking to me. I need to hear his voice.

_This sounds crazy Zayn, absolutely fucking batshit. But I need you to speak to me, I need to hear your voice. I'm praying that you can hear this. If you do hear this, please please keep speaking to me. I need you to help me wake up._

I listen intently and he's mumbling something I can't understand. His voice gets louder and he says my name. _That's my boy._

"Kaya, we're a team remember?" He says and my eyes begin to water. "How am I going to get through this when I don't have you as my back up?"

His voice gets louder and louder with every word.

"Do you remember our first date?" He asks. "Remember? We had those little panini's that you claimed weren't as good as yours." He laughs. "But mines were better, you know they were Kaya." He says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I don't know what they did to you, Kaya." He says, his voice turning serious. "But you're-you're bleeding. I promise you, they won't get away with this. Just come back to me, okay? Come back to me and we'll make sure they don't get away with this. We make a good team, Kaya. We can do this." He says and I feel very different to how I did seconds ago.

I feel coherent. I feel _there_. And I feel like I can open my eyes. So I do.

"Kaya!" Zayn shouts, the relief radiating from his voice.

I open my eyes and blink a few times to try and correct my blurry vision. My head feels sore and heavy. I turn my head to look at him and my emotions overwhelm me as I do.

"Zayn." I choke, tears brimming my eyes yet again.

"Are you okay? Do you feel okay?" He asks, his eyes scanning my face worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My heads just a little sore." I say.

"I've never felt like that in my life." He says.

"Felt like what?" I ask.

"So terrified. I just saw your head slumped down, blood dripping. I immediately thought the worst."

Just as he says the words I become conscious of the fact that there are drops of blood trickling down my forehead, drying and becoming sticky as they go. I feel a massive urge to just run for Zayn and wrap my arms around him and never let him go, but the ache in my heart reminds me that I can't.

"I felt the exact same when I saw you." I tell him.

"What did they do to you?" He asks.

"I'm not really sure." I say, trying to remember. "Someone slapped me, and I remember being punched. Madge. She-she injected something into me." I recall, feeling an overwhelming loss as her betrayal stings me once again.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, clenching his fists.

"What happened to your head?" He asks.

"I don't know. How bad does it look?"

"It's a gash." He tells me and I shudder.

"Is it deep?"

"It doesn't look that deep. I don't think it's bleeding anymore."

"This is so fucked." I say, shaking my head.

"I can't get my head around this." Zayn says.

"My uncle, my own fucking uncle leads this twisted life that I didn't even know about? All of this shit right under my nose and I didn't even know? I'm such a fucking idiot. I could've prevented this." He says.

"Zayn it's not your fault, okay? You had no idea he was like this. As for Madge and Mr Hedshaw, well nobody could've predicted that." I let out a laugh and shake my head. Not a humorous laugh, a broken, betrayed and beaten laugh.

"We'll get out of here, okay? I'll get us out of here." He says, plastering on a fake reassuring smile.

"Not alone you won't. We're a team, remember?" I say and he smiles at me and nods.

"Well well," a voice disturbs us as the door is jolted opened, "looks like the lovebirds have finally decided to wake up."

—

_Remember to keep voting & comments if you like it guys! I love reading what you think about the story :)_

_-S x_


	29. Chapter 29

Mr Hedshaw enters the room with a tray in his hands. The tray has two glasses of water and two plates with a slice of bread on each of them.

"Hungry?" He asks, and Zayn and I stay silent.

"Oh, is that how it's going to be?" He laughs, sitting the tray down on the table behind me.

"Where is he?" Zayn asks and I can tell he's trying his hardest to stay calm.

"Who?" Mr Hedshaw asks.

"Don't play games with me, you know who."

A smile spreads across his face as he walks closer to Zayn. My breaths become slower the closer he gets. _Please don't hurt him. Please don't hurt him._

"He's busy." He says.

"Doing what? Killing more innocent children?"

"I'd watch your attitude." Mr Hedshaw says. "The more you backchat, the worse it could be for this pretty little lady." He leers, coming closer to me.

"Don't you fucking touch her." Zayn warns.

"Why? What're you going to do about it?" He says, raising his hand to the side of my cheek.

"You lay one finger on her and I'll rip you apart." He says, a furious glare on his face.

"See that's where you're wrong. Because you can't do shit when you're tied up, can you?" Mr Hedshaw says, walking back over to Zayn and slapping him harshly across the face.

"And you sure as hell can't do shit when you're unconscious." He smirks.

I can see Zayn's jaw lock, as if he's grinding his teeth and I know for a fact if he wasn't tied up right now, Mr Hedshaw wouldn't even be standing.

There is nothing worse than the feeling of seeing someone that means so much to you being hurt right in front of you, and you can't do a thing about it. The adrenaline takes over your body and you know if you could you'd destroy the person who hurt them. I want nothing more than to pull apart these ropes around me and lunge for the sick bastard. How fucking dare he touch him?

"You think you're so high and mighty, don't you?" Zayn says, a calm exterior taking over his previous anger. "But you're nothing but a coward." He says. "You know fine well if we weren't tied up, you'd be done for."

He gives us a nervous smile before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

"You rattled him." I say.

"Good. Fucking prick."

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." He says. _Easier said than done._

"How are we going to get out of here?"

He sighs before answering, "how tight is the rope around your wrists?" He asks. I try to move my hands again and they don't budge.

"Too tight. How about yours?"

"Tight, but I think if I keep moving my hands I can get out." He says.

"You keep doing the same." He instructs, and so I do.

The door opens again and I freeze. I look up and Madge locks eyes with me. She doesn't say a word as she closes the door behind her and slumps down the wall across from me and lands on the floor.

"You hate me don't you?" She asks and I feel a massive urge to burst into laughter. _Is she fucking serious?_

I just ignore her because what am I supposed to say?

_No I don't hate you. You killed an innocent boy and you're now holding me - one of your "supposed" friends - and my boyfriend captive. Yep, I fucking love you._

"You were never supposed to be involved in this, Kaya." She lowers her eyes to the ground.

"Explain it to me." I say.

"Explain what?" She asks.

"All of it. I want to understand how you could do this."

She sighs and looks down at her fingers, fiddling with them.

"You remember when I was off school for a while last year?" She asks and I nod. I covered her work for a month because she was off due to a family emergency.

"I lost a baby." She says, trying to hold in her tears.

"What?" I ask, shocked.

"I somehow fell pregnant. I know what you're thinking, I'm too old." She laughs. "The doctors told me there'd be a massive chance that there'd be problems if I went ahead with the pregnancy." She says. "But I never had any children, I wanted this so badly. We both did."

"Both?" I ask.

"Jacob and I." She tells me and now it clicks.

I had absolutely no idea her and Mr Hedshaw were together, let alone she was pregnant with his baby.

"All of my friends and family told me it was a bad idea because of my age. Not one single person was happy for us." She says, a sad frown covering her face.

"It was a few months into the pregnancy, nobody even noticed a bump because, I mean, look at me. I'm hardly a stick figure." She says, shrugging her shoulders.

"I started getting stomach cramps at school, do you remember? You were so worried about me." She recalls with a slight smile on her face and I nod blankly, not knowing how to feel. She'd told me it was something she'd eaten.

"Jacob rushed me to the hospital, but it was too late." She says, tears streaming down her cheek.

"We'd picked out a name and everything. It was a boy." She cries.

I feel angry at myself for feeling sympathetic towards her but I can't help myself. My heart aches for the child she lost.

"We were going to call him Darryl." She tells me, and I suddenly tense up at the mention of his name.

She wipes her tears away and straightens her back.

"And then when I came back to school, something changed inside of me."

"I felt anger, hurt, loss. Every second of the day. I felt like I had lost control over everything, how could my body betray me like that?" She says.

"And then I kept seeing Darryl Breylin around." She lowers her eyes to the ground again.

"I couldn't cope with it - seeing him, it brought back memories. Memories of my little boy. I couldn't do it. So I spoke to Jacob. I told him I couldn't stand seeing him in the halls anymore. He told me he'd take care of it."

"I didn't know this would happen." She says.

"What exactly happened?" I ask.

"He brought me here. Your uncle," she looks at Zayn, "Jacob and him were at school together. They're best friends." She says, looking back at me.

"He brought us both back up to this floor and took us into a room. It was like this one, except bigger."

"There were machines in it. Like, torture machines, you know?" She says and my blood runs cold.

"Oh god no." I say and she nods.

"Darryl was in one. His arms and feet were strapped in and there was a blade pressed to his neck. Jacob told me one press of a button and that'd be it."

"I started to panic and told him no, this wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted Darryl transferred to another school, not this."

"He never said a word, instead Zayn's uncle took me to the side. He said this is what he deserves, he said he was a horrible boy."

"Darryl was far from horrible." I say. He was kind and sweet and had a massive heart.

"I know." She frowns. "But he poisoned my mind, he told me things about Darryl, told me he was a bad kid."

"You knew Darryl, Madge. You knew he had a heart of gold." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

She just nods.

"I pressed the button." She says.

"What?"

"I pressed the button. And the blade sliced through his throat." She says and I can feel the bile rising.

"How could you do that?"

"It felt good." She says. "It was like, all the pain and loss and anger inside of me. It stopped for a second. And I was in control again."

"Are you listening to what you're saying Madge? You're trying to condone murdering an innocent boy?"

"I know, there's something wrong with me." She shakes her head.

_Damn right._

"You two weren't supposed to be caught up in this. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She tells me.

"I don't want to be like them." She says.

"Like who?"

"Jacob and Zayn's uncle."

"Like what exactly?"

"Murderers."

_Too bad you already are._

I look at Zayn and he seems to be thinking the same thing as I am.

"They've been doing this for years."

I look at her as if to say _what exactly have they been doing for years?_

"Murdering." She says and I wince.

"How many?"

"I don't know. A lot." She says and something suddenly pops into my mind, dread filling me at the thought.

"Jacob Brixton?" I ask. The boy who went missing last year at the school and was never found.

She nods and I feel sick all over again.

"Why are you telling us this?"

"I thought you were owed an explanation." She says, standing up and stretching her legs.

"But aren't you afraid we'll tell the police when we get out of here?"

"Oh Kaya, dear. You won't be getting out of here." She says, shaking her head and walking behind me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She says and before I can even reply to her previous comment, I feel fabric cover my nose and mouth. I immediately try to hold my breath but it's too late. The chemical on the rag is already burning my skin and climbing down the back of my throat. Everything starts to go blurry around me as I hear Zayn call my name. 

—

_I_ _have a question_

_If_ _someone had to ask you "how would you describe entangled?" what would you say?_

_-S x_


	30. Chapter 30

You know that feeling where you're sleeping, but you're not in a deep sleep? Your eyes are closed and your mind has somewhat shut down, but you can still hear things around you? You're still aware of your surroundings?

I don't know how long I've been here but my body has taken a battering. These _things_ being injected into me are taking a toll on me and I feel tired and lethargic. Not to mention the amount of times I've been hit have caused my body to be in a massive amount of pain.

My eyes are closed but I can hear something. I listen intently to try and figure out what it is, but my brain doesn't seem to be tuning into it. My back feels cold and sore. I eventually snap open my eyes and I look straight ahead at the ceiling. It takes me a few seconds to realise how I can be looking at the ceiling when I'm tied to a chair.

And then it dawns on me that I'm not tied to the chair anymore. I still feel as though the ropes are tied tightly around my wrists and ankles but I look again and they're not.

I feel disbelief as I stretch my arms and legs out in front of me - wondering if I'm imagining this. I look around the room and realise the noise I heard is coming from the TV in the corner. There's an old black and white film playing quietly.

Reality seems to come rushing back to me as it actually sinks in that I'm not tied up anymore. My eyes dart across the room and Zayn is lying on the floor with his eyes closed, no ropes constricting him.

I rush over to him and immediately drop to the ground in front of him, head rush taking over. I begin shaking his body lightly, calling his name. I feel like I could actually cry at the fact I can touch him now. You never realise how much you take the small things for advantage until you can't do them anymore. Things such as a kiss, a hug, a simple touch.

"Kaya?" His eyes squint at me, confusion taking over. Suddenly his eyes widen and he quickly sits up and throws his arms around me.

"You're okay." He whispers, stroking the back of my hair and kissing my forehead.

I burst into tears and suddenly can't control the sobs escaping my body.

"Don't cry babe, please." He rubs my back trying to console me.

We stay there for a few moments - his arms wrapped around me. I want to stay in his arms and hide from the horrific events happening to us.

"Why've they untied us?" I ask when I manage to calm down.

"I don't know." He says, keeping his arms tightly around me.

"But this is good, right?" I say. "We can fight back now." He nods at me.

"I'm going to snap, Kaya. I can feel it in my bones. As soon as someone walks in here I'm going to lunge. I can't hold it in."

"Good, they deserve it. We need to do whatever we have to to get out of here."

He takes my hand and places a kiss on the back of it.

"We need a plan. Whoever comes in, they're it." He says and I nod, agreeing.

"I'll distract them." I say. "You sit over there, pretend you're sleeping or something." I tell him.

"Okay, but what if they try to do something to you?"

"I can handle that."

"I'll be right behind you if anything happens." He assures me.

A panel in the steel door that I didn't even know was there slides open and Mr Hedshaw comes into view.

Zayn immediately rushes forward to the door and Mr Hedshaw pulls back from the panel, shock evident in his eyes.

"What the fuck is this?" Zayn shouts.

"And what would you be referring to?" Mr Hedshaw asks.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've untied us, why?"

"I felt bad for keeping you constricted."

"Oh, you felt bad?" Zayn laughs, moving closer to the steel panel to look Mr Hedshaw dead in the eyes.

"Did you feel bad when you were murdering innocent children?" He asks with a bitter tone.

"Shut up." Mr Hedshaw snaps.

Zayn backs away from the door and runs his hands through his hair.

Mr Hedshaw throws a bottle of water through the panel.

He goes to pass through another bottle when Zayn lurches forward and grabs his arm, slamming it down against the door with a sickening crack.

Mr Hedshaw's deafening screams fill the room.

"Let go of me, please let go of me!" He pleads, pain evident in his voice.

"Open the door. Open the door or I'll break your fucking arm." Zayn threatens.

"Not a chance." He croaks, and by the sound of his voice he's about to burst into tears.

Zayn pushes Mr Hedshaw's arm even further into the door which earns another scream from him.

"I'm not letting go until you open this goddamn door." Zayn says with a raised voice.

"Okay! Okay!" Mr Hedshaw squeals, fumbling about for keys with his free arm.

My heart is in my mouth as I hear the key click in the keyhole and it seems like everything is in slow motion as the key turns. _This is it. We're getting out of here._ I try to think for a second about what I'm going to do when he opens the door but the adrenaline coursing through my blood answers the question for me.

Zayn drops Mr Hedshaw's arm just as the door is pushed open and I don't know what comes over me but as soon as he comes into view, I lunge for him.

My arms wrap around his torso and I put every single ounce of energy I have left into slamming him into the wall behind him. He screams out in pain and falls to the ground as his presumably already broken arm gets caught between his body and the wall.

Zayn rushes out behind me and pulls me back before grabbing Mr Hedshaw by the collar and starts laying punches into him. Blood pours from his nose as Zayn continues hitting him and that's when I need to step in. If he continues hitting him he'll surely kill him, and he doesn't deserve to die, he deserves to suffer.

"Zayn c'mon, that's enough. Let's go." I shout, pulling the back of his t-shirt towards me.

His knuckles are bloodied and his forehead is damp with sweat. Mr Hedshaw lies in a slump on the floor and the only way I can tell he's still alive is the rise and fall of his chest.

Zayn takes my hand and we rush up the hallway, trying to find the steel doors. The hallway is still dark with only a few dim lights and I feel sick with nerves with each step we take up the silent hallway.

"There!" Zayn practically screams as we turn a corner and the steel doors come into view at the end of the hallway.

We run probably faster than we ever have before until we're at the doors where we try to push them open, but they don't budge.

"No no no no." I say, frantically searching for some kind of button or lock that'll open the door as Zayn does the same.

"This isn't fucking happening." Zayn says, shaking his head.

"Wait, try that." I say, gesturing towards a green button at the top of the steel doors on Zayn's side.

I silently pray that the door will open as Zayn reaches up and presses it. Dread and sickness quickly fill me as the ground beneath us opens up and our bodies fall down. A few seconds later we hit the ground and immense pain shoots up my leg. I cry out as the pain rapidly spreads from my leg through to my entire body like a house that's caught fire.

I can't do anything except feel pain as it takes over my whole entire being and drowns me.


	31. Chapter 31

This is unreal. I've got to be dreaming. I am dreaming aren't I? We got out of here - we escaped, didn't we? We were untied, we got out of the room, we dealt with Mr Hedshaw and we got out of this damn place.

Except we didn't.

And the realisation that we're somehow back in this small and dingy room is too much to handle. It hits me like a tornado - wreaking havoc on the vulnerable, wrapping me up and pulling me under and dragging me away from reality.

The pain in my leg is unbearable and it's all I can feel. I can't think properly, I can't do _anything_ properly because it's taken over me. Zayn has his arms wrapped around me to try and calm me down but it doesn't seem to be working.

I'm crying, I'm crying really fucking hard because we got out of here. We got out of this room and now we're back here and I can't help but think we're not going to get out again.

"It's okay, it's okay." Zayn says trying to soothe me, but it doesn't work. Because it won't be okay.

I'm finding it harder to breathe with every second that passes. The air in the room is becoming warm and stuffy and feels heavy against my skin. I feel like I'm aflame - the heat travelling through my body leaving burns as it goes, and then down to my leg where it intensifies and settles. I feel lightheaded and nauseous and my skin goes from feeling alight to clammy and back again in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly my chest feels tight and I try to take a deep breath but I can't, causing panic to surge through me.

I want to scream but all I can do is choke. I'm choking on my sobs, and I can't breathe and _this is it_. _I'm suffocating._ I can't breathe any longer and my organs will surely shut down any minute now. I try to form a sentence and say some words, _any_ words, but all I can manage are choked, breathless sobs.

"Look at me." Zayn says, turning me to face him and placing his hands on each of my arms.

I try to look at him through my tears but he's blurred.

"Hey, Kaya look at me, you're fine. You can breathe." He says. "You can breathe." He repeats.

_No, I can't breathe. I can't breathe._

"You're okay. You're okay." He says, stroking my arms.

_I'm not okay._

"Breathe with me." He says.

_I can't._

"Look at me. Copy what I'm doing."

He takes a deep breath, "breathe in" then he exhales, "breathe out." He says.

"Do it with me, I know you can do it." He deeply inhales, and then exhales again.

The tears stop falling and I blink a few times until my eyes start to focus on him.

"Breathe." He instructs and this time I copy him.

I inhale and then I exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I continue doing so until my breathing picks up a regular pattern again.

He wipes away the tears on my face with his thumbs and pulls me closer to him, earning a wince from me as it hurts to move my leg.

"You're okay." He whispers as I rest my head on his chest.

"How bad is the pain on a scale of 1-10?" He asks me.

"10." I say.

"Can you walk at all?"

"I don't think so, it really hurts Zayn."

"I know babe, but we need to see if it's broken or just sprained."

He kneels down in front of me and pulls the leg of my trousers up.

"Fuck." He mutters. It's swollen and badly bruised - a furious looking shade of purple, with spots of green, yellow and red surrounding it. Definitely broken. It _looks_ bad, but nothing compared to how it _feels_.

I feel useless. I've fucked everything up. We're stuck here now. How the fuck am I going to escape here when I can't even walk?

"What is it?" Zayn asks, obviously reading the look on my face.

"I've ruined everything." I tell him.

"What are you talking about?"

"How are we supposed to get out of here when I can't even fucking walk?" I ask, tears forming in my eyes again.

"I'll carry you out of here if I need to." He says, taking my hand in his.

—

**Zayn's POV**

She lowers her head and it's killing me to see that she's beating herself up over this - as if it's her fault that these psychopaths have us locked up.

"Hey, look at me." I say, placing my hand on her chin and lifting her head up so her eyes meet mine.

She lifts her head and it's only in this moment that I _truly_ realise just how captivatingly beautiful she is. In the midst of all this shit - the pain she's enduring, the blood matted onto her hair and face, the gash on her head, the fear of possibly not getting out of here - beneath all of that, her deep blue eyes still glow. They seem to say a million words with only one look.

Despite this nightmare we're living in, there's something in her eyes that tells me that she won't give up - a confidence, resting quietly behind the fear, ready to battle and unleash hell when the time comes. And as I stare into that confidence deep in her eyes, my heart skips a beat. And then another. Much like the way it does every other time I look at her. And that's when it properly occurs to me that I've fallen for her.

I've fallen hard and fast for her and we may have landed on a rocky spot, but as far as I'm concerned it's just a hurdle.

"I love you, you know that?" I blurt, watching as her beautiful eyes widen at my words. I never meant to say the words out loud, but now that I have I don't regret it for a second. Because she deserves to know that I love her. She deserves to know how beautiful she is and exactly how she makes me feel when she looks at me. She deserves to know that I will do _anything_ and _everything_ in my power to get her out of here and that I will _always_ protect her.

"You do?" She says, uncertaincy dancing in her eyes.

"Of course I do." I say, watching as the corners of her mouth slowly upturn.

She lifts my hand and places light kisses all over it, sending my heart into overdrive.

"I love you, too." She says, tightening her grip on my hand and breaking into a smile.

"Really?" I ask quietly, because I'm not quite sure how someone like her could love someone like me.

"I really do." She tells me, leaning forward and placing her soft lips on mine.

It should feel wrong that we're declaring our love for each other in these circumstances, but I needed her to know. I have no idea what will happen and I don't want to ever have to feel the regret of not getting the chance to tell this woman exactly how I feel about her. The love I feel for her is giving me the willpower that I need to get her out of here safe and sound.


	32. Chapter 32

A loud bang causes me to jolt awake. My quick movement causes the immense pain to reawaken in my leg and I wince with a sharp inhale. I quickly scan the room in search for the noise but it doesn't seem to have come from here. Zayn is lying next to me asleep, his body lying in an uncomfortable angle.

"Zayn." I whisper, shaking him.

He stirs for a moment before finally opening his eyes and sitting up straight. The sleep is still evident in his eyes and he looks confused.

I take a moment to just look at him, taking him all in. His eyes are dull and lifeless and he looks as though he's given up. My heart sinks at the sight.

He seems to snap out of his sleep induced state after a few seconds.

"Are you okay?" He asks frantically, eyes scanning me as if checking for something wrong.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I assure him, putting my hand on top of his.

"I heard something." I tell him.

"What was it?" He asks.

"Like a loud bang, I don't know where it came from."

He stands up and looks around the room, running a hand through his hair.

"What did it sound like?"

"I don't really know, I was asleep, it woke me up."

"Okay." He nods.

He sighs before walking back over to me.

"I can't stay here much longer." He says. "We need to act now."

I nod, waiting for him to continue and tell me how on earth we're going to manage that.

"Our little run in with Hedshaw probably hasn't went down well." He sighs.

"Probably not." I agree. I dread to think what they must be planning right now.

"They probably won't risk opening that door again. We need to think of something else." He says.

We sit for a few minutes and try to think of something, _anything_.

"Okay, how about this?" I say eventually.

"Madge is surely the weakest link out of the three, right?"

"Right." He says.

"So we get to her, we _break_ her. She'll snap, we escape."

"How are we going to break her though?"

"She knows me. I think I can get to her." I tell him.

"It's worth a try." He says.

I know I'm being majorly optimistic about this but I can't be anything other than that. I _need_ to believe that this will work.

"So now we wait." I say.

—

I've no idea how long has passed. When you're stuck somewhere like this, sense of time is viciously stolen from you. Along with every other little thing you take for granted. Such as sleeping in a bed, eating and even going to the toilet whenever you need to.

Every single inch of my body aches. My stomach is begging me for food every time it rumbles. The bottled water Hedshaw put through the panel lay on the floor for a long time, both of us unsure whether to touch them or not - until we finally realised we had no choice but to take them.

I massively regret drinking it now as my bladder feels full and there isn't a toilet in here. The restriction is beginning to hurt my stomach and it's making me feel even worse than I already do.

My hair is now completely matted to me with blood, sweat and everything in between. My skin is in the same condition. I feel itchy and uncomfortable and all I want to do is jump in a scalding hot shower and wash this nightmare away.

We came up with a plan and now we just need to put it into action. Whether it will work or not, who knows? But we have no choice but to try.

Zayn is going to pretend to be sleeping while we wait for Madge to come to the panel. I'm going to try and convince her that I've taken my period and I need to get to the bathroom. It's going to be hard to convince her but I'm very persuasive and I'll use that to my advantage. _If_ I'm successful I then need to take down Madge, before coming back to get Zayn.

I might be a leg down and lacking in energy but I'm not going down without a fight. I will do anything to get us out of here, hurting whoever is in my way to do so.

Because in this situation, it's kill or be killed. And I refuse to die.

—

_Hiiiii, hope you're all good!_

_Yesterday this story was #47 in Mystery/Thriller and today it's up to #38 and I'm extremely happy about that!_

_So thank you for voting and commenting, means a lot :)_

_-S x_


	33. Chapter 33

I'm going stir crazy in here. I feel like I've been in here for weeks, hell it _could_ be weeks for all I know. I honestly don't have a clue how long we've been here for. All I know is that with every second that passes it just gets harder and harder and I'm starting to feel weaker and weaker.

I close my eyes and try to think of happy thoughts but my mind won't let me sink into my imagination. It just stays where it is - hovering above the surface. Forcing me to face the things that I don't want to.

I feel tired. Constantly. I feel like my body is about to give in any moment now, but I can't let that happen. Zayn's head is on my thigh and his eyes are closed. I run my finger over the scar behind his neck and I remember the first time I noticed it in the school. I remember I'd wondered how he'd gotten it – thought it was maybe an accident as a child. But now I know what his uncle is capable of, it becomes clear to me how he sustained it.

I suddenly hear movement behind the steel door and I hold my breath. The panel slides open and Madge comes into view. _This is it. This is your shot. It's all down to you now Kaya._

I gently lift Zayn's head from my thigh – giving him a subtle nudge while doing so – and I slowly stand up, biting down on my lip to try and focus the pain somewhere else other than my leg. I silently pray that Zayn caught that nudge and will wake up any minute, so that he knows that it's time to put the plan into action.

Madge looks at me and I can see the dark circles pulling at the skin under her eyes. She looks tired, defeated. I limp slowly, cautiously, _painfully_ , a hand clutching my stomach. _You can do this Kaya._

"What's wrong with you?" Madge asks.

I grimace before answering. "Cramp." I whisper.

"Oh." She says. She doesn't look as though she's all here. Like her body is here, but her mind is elsewhere.

"It's really bad Madge." I say, straining my voice to make it sound more believable.

"Period?" She asks and I nod.

"I just, I need some help Madge." I say, exhaling every word.

"What do you mean?"

"I need to go to the toilet. I need to sort myself out, y'know?" I look at her, pleading with my eyes.

Her eyes flash with sympathy mixed with... _fear?_ She looks vulnerable so I use it to my advantage.

"I can't do that, Kaya." She says looking to the ground. The little warriors inside of me perk up their ears and lift their shields, knowing that the battle is nearing.

"You can Madge, I know you can."

She shifts on her feet and keeps her eyes fixated to the ground.

"I don't know." She says.

"Madge c'mon, you know me. You know I won't try anything. Fuck, I can barely walk." I force a laugh.

"I don't think I can trust you." She whispers, eyes still not meeting mine.

The need to lunge at her right now for that comment is overwhelming, but I try to ignore it.

"Madge. C'mon now, do you really want to talk about trust?" I say, tilting my head at her.

_Let's take a trip to guilty city, shall we Madge?_

She stays quiet and I can tell that the things I'm saying to her are making her nervous.

"You've done a lot to me Madge. You've hurt me, betrayed me, broken my heart." I tell her and she hangs her head in shame.

I let out a drawn-out sigh.

"But I forgive you." I say and her head snaps up.

"W-what?" She stutters.

"I forgive you. You were like a mother to me Madge. I still love you." I tell her, and the words feel like venom dripping out of my mouth.

I put my hand through the panel and reach out for her to take it. _Hopefully this will seal the deal._

She hesitates for a few seconds before taking my hand. I circle the back of her hand with my thumb, ignoring the nauseous feeling in my stomach.

"You can trust me Madge." I say one more time and she smiles slightly and nods, dropping my hands and reaching into her pocket for her keys.

I take a step back and take a deep breath. _This is it._

The door opens and before Madge comes into view I quickly glance at Zayn. His eyes are still closed and I'm hoping that he's not sleeping - that he's awake and he can hear every single thing.

Madge comes closer to me and links my arm, guiding me up the hall.

"Be very quiet." She whispers and I almost want to laugh because I'm too nervous to say a word.

She takes me into a bedroom next to the room that we're locked up in. She doesn't let go of my arm for a second until she guides me to the en-suite.

"Be quick." She whispers, before lightly pushing me forward into the bathroom.

The bright light of the bathroom stings my eyes for a few seconds as they try to adjust to something other than dullness.

I spot the toilet in the corner and I practically run for it. I can't even remember the last time I urinated.

The relief is absolutely amazing and the pain in my stomach starts to disappear almost instantly, making me feel a lot better.

I flush the toilet and stand up and turn on the tap. I quickly but quietly open up the medicine cabinet, looking for something I can use. _Nothing_.

I quietly open the drawer and scan it with my eyes. I pick up a comb and shove it in my back pocket. It won't do much but the fine teeth will surely give someone a nasty cut. I spot a packet of matches and my heart rate accelerates. I quickly shove them in my back pocket before closing the drawer - there's nothing else I can use in there.

I put my mouth under the tap and feel the cool water run down my throat. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before leaning down and splashing the cold water onto my face.

I can't even describe the feeling of the refreshing water on my skin. It's absolutely incredible.

I look up at the mirror in front of me for the first time since I entered the bathroom and my heart sinks at my reflection.

This girl in front of me isn't me. No way. Her hair is straggly and bloody. Her face bruised and cut and dirty. She looks tired. She looks broken. She looks _wrecked_.

My eyes linger over my reflection once more, focusing on the cuts and bruises. And that's when something inside of me snaps.

How dare they do this to us? How dare they come into our lives and disrupt it and destroy it? What gives a person the right to harm another human?

They have absolutely _no_ right. We're all equals. We bleed the same colour. We walk on the same earth. So how does that give someone the right to cause harm to another?

 _It doesn't_.

Because no human being is superior to another. Regardless of how rich you are, how pretty you are, where you were raised, what you do for a living - absolutely fucking _nothing_ makes a human being more superior than another. You rip the skin from us, the blood, the insides and we're all just the same - bones.

The adrenaline and anger is coursing through my blood, I feel it now and I'm ready. I'm ready to destroy anyone who gets in my way.

The warriors in my body are out in fighting force - swords raised, ready to unleash hell.

I give my body a quick shake - ignoring the pain in my leg because quite frankly all I feel now is anger - and I head for the bathroom door.


	34. Chapter 34

I open the bathroom door with withheld breath and I expect to see Madge standing there right in front of it – _waiting_ for me – but I don't.

I stand there for a second, scanning the room suspiciously. Heart in my mouth. _Empty_.

_This is_ _a fucking game, I know it is. Someone's g_ _oing to_ _jump out at me as soon as I try to leave._

I pull the comb from my back pocket and position it in my hand so that I can easily slice it across someone's face if need be.

I take a deep but quiet breath and slowly step towards the door, limping with each step. I look around me as I go, making sure no one is sneaking up behind me.

I'm just about to walk past the wooden four poster bed when a hand from underneath the bed grabs my foot and pulls my leg out from under me.

My breath hitches as my body collapses and my leg crashes to the ground, followed by my chin - causing me to bite my tongue. I scream out in pain but despite my vulnerable state, the very few warriors left unwounded inside of me are still fighting strong and forcing me to keep going.

I tighten my grip on the comb and I lunge for the hand that just pulled me down. I quickly drag the fine teeth of the comb along the hand and to my surprise and absolute fucking delight, it draws blood.

A sharp inhale followed by _"you fucking bitch!"_ is the response and a smug smile appears on my face as I try to ignore the pain in my leg and get up as quick as I can.

I run for the door and slam it behind me, bolting up the hallway. I ignore the mind-numbing pain shooting up my leg and I keep going.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I don't know what to do next. I never thought this part of the plan through.

I turn the corner and the room we've been locked up in comes into view. I run faster than I ever have before to reach it and let Zayn out so we can finally escape.

But it's not fast enough.

Something has hit me. Everything around me is disintegrating into darkness. I feel like I've fallen from a great height in the dead of the night. Not a single soul around. Just me, body flying through the air, seconds from crashing. My heart falls one step ahead of me. But before it smashes to the ground and _all_ of my feelings disable, one last sliver of anger consumes me as it sinks in that they got me again.

—

"Wake the fuck up!" A voice shouts, echoing loudly in my mind.

My body feels tight and constricted and I feel nauseous as it dawns on me I'm trapped again. My mouth feels tight and sore, there's duct tape covering it.

I finally open my eyes and confusion, dread and fear fill me as I catch sight of who's standing in front of me.

Zayn and his uncle.

There's something completely off about Zayn. He looks broken. Destroyed. _Emotionless_.

—

_There's a little video attached, I wouldn't call it a trailer as it's too short. I'd say it was more of a "teaser" :) lemme know what you think of it!_

_–S x_


	35. Chapter 35

Zayn's uncle continues to stare at me, a devious grin on his face. I don't take my eyes off Zayn for a second - desperately trying to read his eyes for some kind of explanation, but there is none.

He's emotionless. His eyes are dark and empty and seem to be giving absolutely nothing away.

I desperately want to ask him what's going on. Why isn't he tied up and I am? Why hasn't he attacked his uncle yet? All of my questions stay unanswered as I can't say shit when there are layers of duct tape covering my mouth.

"I bet you're wondering what's going on, huh?" Zayn's uncle says, pacing slowly in front of me. His greasy hair is slicked back, layers of sweat trickles down his forehead. I feel sick at the sight of him.

Zayn doesn't move. Doesn't even look at me.

"It seems your little boyfriend here has been deceitful." He says.

_What?_

"You think you know someone." He tuts, shaking his head.

_What the fuck is he talking about?_

"You see," he says, "Zayn here has struck up a pretty little deal with me while you were away, haven't you Zayn?"

"I have." Zayn says, his voice confident and clear.

"It seems Zayn and I are a lot more similar than I originally thought." His uncle says with a smile.

_You're nothing alike you piece of shit._

"Now I bet you're wondering what I'm talking about?" He says, "let me explain it for you."

"Zayn here wants to keep his life." He says, pacing slowly up and down the room again with his hands joined together. "But," he raises his forefinger in the air, "in order for him to do so, he needs to sacrifice another life."

He walks closer to me and leans down into my face.

"And that life is yours." He says slowly, his vile, hot and stale breath hitting my face and causing me to almost gag. His voice trails off into a sick laughter.

My blood runs cold and I snap my eyes to Zayn - begging for some sort of explanation, but his eyes are lowered to the ground.

_Zayn wouldn't let anything happen to me. No_ _t a_ _chance. He loves me. He loves me and I love him and we're escaping here. Together._

Zayn finally lifts his head and looks me in the eye. His eyes are blank, staring right through me as if I'm not even here. Has his uncle done something to him? Drugged him? He isn't himself. There's something majorly off about him and it gives me a doubtful feeling deep in the pit of my stomach.

"So, let me tell you how this will happen Kaya." His uncle says, his voice in a mocking tone.

"We're going to play a little game." He tells me.

"A little general knowledge." He smiles, walking closer to me once again.

"You get the answer wrong, you die." He says and my heart sinks even further at the venom laced in his voice.

"But here's the fun part." He smiles. "I'm not going to be the one to kill you, Zayn is." He says, breaking into laughter once again.

_We'll see how far you get with your stupid fucking game asshole because I can assure you Zayn will be doing no such thing._

His uncle's hand hovers in front of my face and I hold my breath, waiting to see what he'll do next.

He harshly rips the duct tape from my mouth, probably ripping half of my face off along with it. I bite down hard on my lip to stop myself crying out in pain.

"Zayn." I say in a pleading voice, hoping he'll look at me and snap back to himself. He ignores me, keeping his eyes to the ground.

"Zayn." I say again, voice shaking as I'm on the brink of tears.

"What?" He snaps, his head rising quickly.

"I-I," is all I manage to stutter out.

"Do you ever fucking shut up?" He shouts, startling me.

"It's quite simple really. Answer the questions. You get them wrong, you're gone. You understand?" He spits as his uncle looks on with immense pride on his face.

I feel sick as I watch Zayn pull the table behind me round past my chair and to the front of me where he stops. I follow him with my eyes as he reaches down and opens a drawer in the table. He retrieves a black leather briefcase and a pair of white silk gloves from the drawer and slams the case down on the table, causing me to jump in my seat. I'm in absolute shock and I don't know what to say. All I can do is watch on in confusion.

He puts on the white silk gloves and slowly opens up the briefcase and my heart stops when I see what's inside.

A large knife, a syringe, rags and a small plastic bottle with blue liquid in it.

I frantically look up at Zayn to find him already looking at me. He looks right through me with not a single emotion in his face and in a monotone voice he slowly says:

"Let the games begin."

—

_My story has gone up to #33 in Mystery/Thriller! Thank you for voting and commenting and reading you beautiful babes xo_

_-Sx_


	36. Chapter 36

Zayn picks up the large knife and runs his gloved finger slowly across the blade before sitting it back down.

I can't do anything but sit and watch in absolute dismay. My body seems to be frozen. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn't.

Zayn takes a step back and his uncle steps forward and takes his place, placing his hands flat down on the table. His fingernails are long and dirty and there's dried blood on his knuckles.

"Ready?" He asks and I want to be sick at the fact this is actually happening right now. Am I seriously about to answer general fucking knowledge questions to determine whether I live or not?

"Good." He says, not waiting for me to give a reply.

"You've got three chances." He tells me. "You know what they say, three strikes and you're out." He says, making a cutthroat gesture with his hand.

I shake my head quickly from side to side as if it'll make the shock disappear from my system. I need my brain to be fully aware of what's happening right now. I _need_ to answer these questions correctly.

"Question One." He says.

"How many questions-" I start to ask but before I can finish he slams his hand down hard on the table.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you not to interrupt people when they're speaking?" He shouts and I immediately bite my tongue. I look at Zayn and he's just standing in the background, watching on.

"Question One." He repeats and I stay quiet. The silence in the room is eerie.

He stands there for what feels like an hour, thinking of something to ask me. The tension builds inside of me with every second that passes.

"Tell me Kaya, King Zog ruled which country?" He asks and I silently thank The Lord that I know my history.

"Albania." I say and his face drops.

"Very well then, Question Two." He says. "Which film stars Bette Midler as a witch? One of my favourites." He asks. I can't help but feel as though this is some sort of dream. As though I'm on some kind of twisted fucking game show. He's enjoying this. The sadistic bastard is mocking me with every one of these ridiculous questions. 

"Hocus Pocus." I say and he clenches his jaw and nods.

He lowers his eyes to the ground and I can almost see a slight smirk on his face. He lifts his head and looks me dead in the eye and all in one quick blur he picks up the large knife and launches it towards the wall behind me.

My breath seems to be knocked out of me once again and I'm struggling to catch it due to the fact the knife was so close to my face. _Any closer my face would be sliced in half._

He laughs as he walks behind me and pulls the knife from the wall.

I sit there in complete shock with my mouth agape, still trying to catch a breath.

He stabs the knife into the table in front of me and looks me in the eyes again.

"Strike one."

"Question Three." He says and I really begin to panic now.

"Which type of acid do I use on my victims?" He asks and I have to close my eyes tight to stop the tears from falling at the thought of him doing such a thing to innocent people.

"You're fucking sick." I say, bile rising in my throat.

"Really?" He says. "What makes me sick? All I'm doing is providing a service. Getting rid of the bad kids so they don't roam the streets and cause us trouble." He tells me and I can't believe he's actually trying to justify what he's done.

"Bullshit."

"Now now, Kaya. You really do have a foul mouth don't you? Maybe you need that pretty little mouth of yours washed out, huh?" He says, picking up the bottle of blue liquid and shaking it in front of my face.

"You're disgusting. Absolutely fucking vile. Look at you." I say in a raised voice, eyes looking him up and down in disgust.

"You spend your time killing innocent people, how the fuck is that justifiable to you? Please, please fucking enlighten me you sick bastard." I spit, adding an extra curse word in there for good measure.

"You're skating on thin ice here Kaya." He warns and I let out a broken laugh.

"Fuck you." I spit. I've let the anger get the better of me and I instantly regret it.

"They're innocent by no means, but that's none of your concern." He shrugs. "I know a story that might be of interest to you though."

"Darryl Breylin." He smiles.

"No." I say. "I don't want to hear it." The thought turns my stomach.

"Oh, you don't want to hear it?" He says. "You don't want to hear how a sharp blade was pressed to his neck?" He walks closer to me.

"Stop it." I say, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You don't want to hear how he begged for his life? _Pleaded_ for me not to kill him?"

_I'm going to be sick. I'm going to be sick._

"Stop it!" I shout, my eyes still closed.

"You don't want to hear how your precious Madge caused the blade to slice right through his neck?"

_I feel like a blade has just been sliced right through my own heart._

"No? You don't want to hear that? Then you have five seconds to answer the fucking question." He snaps.

"Sulphuric." I whisper, tears brimming. I had no idea how to answer that question and I just said the first thing that came to my fragile mind. A smile appears on his face again and I know I'm wrong.

"Wrong again." He says and my skin rapidly starts to break out in goosebumps.

"Strike two. One more and you're out." He smirks.

"Question Four." He says.

"What's the name of the street Crystal Hills Library is located on?" He asks. _I know this._

"Belview Road." I say.

"Uh-oh." He says, frowning.

"What?"

"Poor Kaya, wrong again." He says and my heart seems to stop dead mid-beat.

"It's right! It's fucking right!" I scream as he just looks on with that stupid smug grin on his face.

He looks at Zayn who just nods and begins to walk towards me, his uncle taking a few steps back.

"That's three strikes, and you know what that means?" Zayn says, picking up the large knife from the briefcase and looking me in the eye.

"That means game over."

-

_Oh my god I hate this chapter. Hated writing it. Awful awful awful._

_Hope you're all good! Thanks for reading and keep voting and commenting please lovelies :)_

_Feel free to follow me on Twitter if ya like, it's @samelovestyles_

_–Sx_


	37. Chapter 37

"Zayn. What are you doing?" I ask with a trembling voice as he cautiously eyes the knife in his hand.

"What I should've done a long time ago." He whispers.

_This is part of a plan isn't it? Zayn would never hurt me. He loves me, right? Please god let this be part of some sort of plan._

He raises the knife slowly. His uncle laughs like a maniac in the background - his mind almost certainly not all there.

"Do it Zayn, do it! Cut the bitch up!" He shouts, eyes wide and frantic like he's on an acid trip.

"You're just like me Zayn, you know you are. I'm in your blood. We share the same genes, we're _part_ of each other." He babbles on while Zayn just stares at me, still as emotionless as before.

"You hear the voices too, I know you do. Listen to them Zayn, listen to what they're telling you to do." His uncle encourages and my heart shatters and falls to the ground in a million pieces.

_How fucking dare he say something like that to him?_

"I will." Zayn says, his voice cracking.

In one swift movement he turns on his heels and lunges for his uncle, stabbing the knife straight into his chest.

"I'm nothing like you, you vile piece of shit!" He screams, removing the knife and plunging it into his shoulder.

The relief floods me like a tsunami - overtaking every inch of me and drowning me in all the emotions I've pent up since being here. I can't help the tears from pouring down my face as I start to hyperventilate.

His uncle screams out in pain, blood beginning to pour from his wounds. "You son of a bitch!" He chokes.

Zayn rushes over to me and cups my face - wiping away my tears. The tears are falling from his own eyes as he places kisses all over my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." He rambles. "I love you. I love you so fucking much. We're getting out of here now, okay? You're okay." He says, moving his hands to the rope bounding my feet and untying it. All I can manage is a weak nod between my muffled, choked sobs.

From the corner of my eye I spot his uncle, screwing up his face in agony as he pulls the knife slowly from his chest. He's a wreck - blood spilling from him, body wavering about. But that doesn't stop him from reaching out for Zayn with the knife in his hand.

"Zayn, watch out!" I shout, just as Zayn is roughly pulled backwards by the collar of his t-shirt.

The knife is knocked from his uncles grasp and goes flying across the floor to the other side of the room.

I begin to thrash about, trying to knock my chair over so I can free myself. As I move I feel something scratching the bottom of my back. _The matches!_

I frantically try and reach them in my back pocket and I somehow manage to pull them out. I feel for the sandpaper-like surface and push the box open with my thumb. I try to pull out a matchstick and I curse to myself as it drops to the ground.

Zayn's uncle punches Zayn in the mouth and his lip starts to bleed. I try to ignore the ache in my heart because I need to get out of this chair and Zayn can handle himself.

_Focus Kaya, focus. You can do this._

I try again to retrieve a match from the box and _jackpot!_ I swipe it against the hard surface of the box and my hand rapidly begins to heat up.

"Fuck!" I curse as the flame catches onto the rope and begins burning it - also burning my hands in the process.

I try to ignore the pain in my hand and wait for the rope to dissolve completely. It only takes a few seconds and as soon as I can I whip my hands away from the flame, causing the burning rope to drop to the ground.

I bring my hands to my face to assess them and I thank god that they're still intact - with only minor burns.

I quickly snap back into reality and lurch forward on to Zayn's uncles back - covering his eyes and pulling him backwards.

"The knife Zayn! Get the knife!" I shout and Zayn scrambles to the other side of the room to get it.

Zayn's uncle's fist swings backwards, smacking me in the face and sending me falling back. I keep a tight grip on his neck, causing him to fall back with me and land on my broken leg.

"Shit!" I cry out and I'm sure I'm seconds away from passing out due to the immense pain taking over my body.

As Zayn runs back towards us, his uncle harshly kicks his foot - knocking Zayn's leg from under him.

Behind us is now aflame and rapidly spreading through the room - seconds from engulfing us.

I muster up every single ounce of energy left in my broken and battered body, and I manage to roll Zayn's uncle off of me and straight into the fire beside us.

The sleeve of his shirt catches flame and I ignore every ache in my body as I stand up and rush over to Zayn.

"C'mon! Now Zayn! We need to go!" I shout frantically and he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the door. He pulls it open with a loud screech and slams it behind him, leaving his uncle in the burning room.

We run up the hallway, ignoring the pain trying to drag us down. The steel doors come into view and we run as fast as we possibly can to reach them.

"How the fuck do we get out of here?!" Zayn shouts, frantically searching the doors for some escape.

"Watch there aren't any more traps." I warn.

He bangs his fists on the steel doors and curses loudly.

"The keys." He says quietly, realisation seemingly hitting him. He takes a step back from the doors.

"What?"

"The fucking keys. They're on the floor in the room. I can't believe this." He runs his hand through his hair.

"No no no no no." I say, burying my face into my hands because this can't be fucking happening.

"There must be another way out." I tell him.

"I don't want to risk pressing something on this door and then being trapped all over again." He says.

"I need to go get them." Zayn finally says and my panic levels go into overdrive.

"No way, no fucking way. You'll burn yourself alive!" I say, shaking my head.

"Kaya I need to. It's the only way out of here."

Deep down I know he's right. There is no other way. "I'm coming with you." I tell him.

"No way." He says.

"Zayn, I'm not letting you go alone."

"Kaya, listen to me." He puts his hands on my shoulders. "You can barely walk, you're hurt. I promise you I'll be quick and I'll be fine." He grazes his thumb over my cheek, placing a strand of hair behind my ear.

He sighs.

"But if you get the chance, make a run for it. If you can somehow open that door don't wait for me, okay?"

"Wha-"

"Kaya listen to me, please. I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you and in such a short space of time, you've made me something I thought I never could be - happy." He says and tears brim my eyes once again, my heart aching.

"Zayn..." I say and he just shakes his head.

He takes my hands in his and looks up at me. "You're going to be okay, I promise you." He presses his lips to mine.

"I love you." He says, before dropping my hands and running back up the hallway towards the burning room.

I lift my finger to my bottom lip, slowly gliding it along the memory of him. But something feels off. It takes me a few moments but then I manage to put my finger on it.

I can't help but feel deep in my gut that that kiss was laced with a goodbye.

—

 _Disclaimer: there's a line near the end of this chapter that says something about dragging us down and I swear this was written before drag me down was released lmao! Just thought I'd mention that_


	38. Chapter 38

I snap out of my shock induced state and my senses finally come rushing back to me. I frantically search the steel doors for an out and I begin to feel frustrated when I can't find one. The whole right door is lined with various coloured buttons with not even the slightest inkling to what they're for. At the top of the door is the green button that caused the ground beneath us to open up the last time we tried to escape.

If I can find a way out I can go get Zayn and we can get out of here. Once again I ignore the pain shooting up and down my leg and I soldier on. I back away from the door and turn around - so I'm now facing the long and dull hallway.

The candles still flicker, seemingly still trying to warn us off with some sort of morse code. _Bit late now_. The silence in this place causes a shiver to run up my spine. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I'm about to do. I don't have much time.

I head for the first room to my right and my plan already seems doomed when the door doesn't budge. I back away for a second and close my eyes and give myself a quick shake, mentally preparing my body for the continued pain it's about to experience.

I take a step forward and I hold my breath as I drive the heel of my other leg into the door. It rattles and I feel a pang of relief as it does. I repeat this a few more times until the lock of the door breaks under my foot and swings open.

The whole room is a dark blue colour - the walls, the carpet, the furniture.

It just looks like a normal bedroom so I quickly enter it. I scan the room for a way out. I spot the en-suite so I barge into it, searching for a window or a vent or _something_. But I find nothing. I curse in frustration as I search the bedroom for the same thing and find nothing.

I exit the room and stand in the eerily silent hallway once again. This plan isn't going to work. I need Zayn. I feel sick and stupid that I even wasted any time when I should have immediately went after Zayn.

The hallway looks longer than usual as I begin to run up it. How I'm managing to even move with this horrific pain in my leg is beyond me. The only reasonable explanation is that my body is in too much shock to fully process the pain.

I run by each door and deep inside of me I wonder what's in there. More victims? More torture rooms? More dead bodies? My heart aches at the thought but that isn't for me to stick around and find out. I have other things on my mind.

I turn the corner to the next hallway and my heart drops. The door of the burning room is opened and black, thick smoke is billowing out of it - clouding the air in the hallway, heading straight for me. I hold my breath as I cover my mouth and nose and run straight into the cascading smoke.

"Zayn!" I shout as I reach the door. I can't see a thing. The black smoke clouds my sight with hints of orange.

I cover my mouth and nose with my arm again and I hesitantly step into the room - smoke surrounding me immediately. I feel it entering my body almost instantly - coursing through my blood and clinging to my lungs. I start to cough but I continue on. I squint my eyes trying to see something in the room and finally I do. Zayn.

My blood runs cold. It's astonishing how the blood inside of me can even do such a thing when the skin that coats it is furiously burning.

_No no no no no no._

He's lying slumped on the floor, keys in hand, eyes closed. My body snaps straight into survival mode and I rush over to him. I can't speak due to the excessive smoke in the room so I shake him but he doesn't stir. _Fuck_. I grab the keys and immediately latch onto his forearms - dragging him out of the room. I somehow manage to get him out. But it's not over yet. The flames have followed us, they're viciously spitting and hissing at us, clinging onto anything and everything in their way and burning it to a crisp.

I bend down - ignoring every ache in my body - and fling one of his arms over my shoulder. I grimace and grind my teeth as I slowly but surely lift him - his body acting like a ton of bricks hanging off my shoulder.

Tears start to form in my eyes as I try to take steps forward towards the steel doors. Carrying Zayn is becoming too hard without the aid of him being able to carry his own weight. My body isn't strong enough at this moment in time but that doesn't stop me from trying. I somehow manage to get us up the first hallway and round the corner - our escape is in view now. I have a dull ache in my stomach as my arms start to feel heavier and my body starts to feel weaker.

The smoke scratches at my lungs again and as I let out a cough, that seems to be the last straw for my already damaged and broken body.

I squint my eyes at the steel doors ahead of me, watching on intently with confusion. Everything is in slow motion as the doors blur in front of my eyes. I hear a slow and muffled banging noise. _What is that?_

I try to turn my head quickly around but it only moves slowly. A black shadow seems to be creeping up the hall - crawling along the carpet, and then expanding all around the walls and the ceiling. And it's heading straight for me.

Everything around me seems to be delayed. Including my own words, my thoughts and my movements.

I say Zayn's name - wondering where he went - and it leaves my mouth well after I've said it in a sort of low dreary tone. I furrow my eyes in confusion as I look down to the ground and there he is. I can't see him properly, he seems to be only an outline, his body is flickering as I look at it - as if my eyes are suffering some kind of fit.

I see the dark shadow approaching me from the corner of my eye but by the time I turn round, it's too late.

The darkness has engulfed me and swallowed me whole.

-

_Hiiiii,_

_I do_ _n't really have much to say_ _right now_ _except thank you all_ _SO_ _much for reading voting and comment_ _ing_ _it honestly means so much to me you have no idea_ _!_

_–Sx_


	39. Chapter 39

Silence. Voices. Silence. Voices. _And then nothing_.

Darkness. Light. Darkness. Light. _And then nothing._

Something is happening around me. Some sort of commotion. My body is numb. My mind is numb. I want to open my eyes but I can't. I can't do anything except just _be here_. Although I'm barely even doing that.

I'm not sure where I am. I'm lying on my back and I can't move. Everything around me is black.

"Kaya?" I hear a voice say, and a warmth of familiarity covers me.

"Zayn?" I call out, not sure if it is him but somehow feeling deep inside of me that it is.

"It's you." He says, a hint of relief in his voice.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"I'm here." He says. I feel his hands touch mine and my eyes snap open.

I crane my neck so that I can see him and once our eyes lock I feel as if all my senses have come rushing back to me.

I quickly sit up and throw my arms around his neck and pull his lips to mine. His arms tighten around my waist before we pull back from the kiss.

He stands up and holds his hand out for me. I take it and he pulls me up, still keeping his hand entangled in mine.

We stand there, looking around this room and taking it all in. The walls, ceiling and floors are all black. There's a door on the wall in front of us.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"I don't know. Do you think-do you think we're dead?" He says, voice lowering.

"Shit." I say. That hadn't occurred to me until now. Something feels weird and I'm not quite sure what it is. I can walk, I can talk, I can _feel_. We can't be dead.

Suddenly we're forced to silence by the sound of approaching footsteps. Zayn tightens his grip on my hands and we both stand there holding our breath - waiting for whoever it is to enter.

The door slowly opens and I know who it is immediately. They have the same eyes.

"Mum?" Zayn says, releasing my hand and walking slowly towards her.

My stomach sinks at the realisation of what's happening. If Zayn's mum is here, we must be dead.

"Oh Zayn!" She cries, flinging her arms around him and pulling him close to her.

The very sight pulls every emotion out of me and I cover my face as the tears start to fall from my eyes.

Zayn stands there in shock, holding his mum in his arms.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Where are we?" He continues.

His mum pulls back from the hug and places a hand on his shoulder. "I can't explain that right now. All I can say is we don't have much time."

Zayn furrows his eyebrows at his mums answer, as do I. What does she mean we don't have much time?

"You must be Kaya." I hear her say as I wasn't even paying attention. I look up and she has a hand on her heart. She walks towards me with her arms outstretched.

I don't even know what to say but as she pulls me into a hug I find myself hugging her back.

"Thank you so much." She whispers and I don't know what she's thanking me for so I just nod.

She leans back from the hug and holds my hands as she speaks to me.

"Thank you so much." She says again, tears brimming in her eyes as my own eyes begin to well up.

She pulls me into a hug once more and we both stand there like sobbing messes as Zayn just watches on in confusion.

"Okay, okay! Enough crying." His mum laughs, wiping the tears from under my eyes with her thumbs.

"Okay." She says, taking one of my hands and guiding us towards Zayn. She takes his hand with her free hand so she's now in the middle of us both, holding onto our hands.

"Here we go." She says, and Zayn and I just look at each other in confusion as the black door in front of us opens up to immense white light.

We squint our eyes as we walk through the door - straight into the light.

Our eyes adjust after a few seconds and I see we're in the little village where Zayn's gran lives. My heart warms at the sight. Despite what happened the night we were here, I still really liked this place. It was so homely and welcoming.

The village is eerily empty - not a single soul wanders the streets. We stay silent as Zayn's mum still keeps hold of our hands, and leads us towards his grans house.

His mum takes a deep breath before releasing our hands and opening up the front door. Zayn and I glance at each other as we follow her into the house.

As soon as we enter the hallway I hear it - crying. An uncontrollable, body-racking cry. My stomach churns as we enter the living room and that's when I see her.

Zayn's gran is slumped on the living room floor. The sobs are escaping her body in a forceful manner. There's a half drunk bottle of whiskey in one of her hands, and an opened bottle of pills in the other.

_Please no._

Zayn's mum takes a deep breath, leaning against the wall behind her. I can tell it's taking everything inside of her to not break down at the sight of her mother.

Zayn's eyes begin to well up and I take his hand. I place my other hand on his lower back and start rubbing it in a circular motion - trying to console him.

"Can she see us?" Zayn asks his mum and she shakes her head.

"Why is she doing this mum?" Zayn asks, his voice cracking.

"This would be what would've happened if you never came back into her life Zayn." She says.

"She was severely depressed. Everything just piled on top of her, smothered her. Until it all got too much." She continues.

"But then you came along Zayn, with the help of Kaya."

"If you wouldn't have been out for breakfast that morning with Kaya, she never would have saw you and her life would've just kept heading in a downward spiral." She explains.

"When she saw you, it was like you brought something alive inside of her. Unbeknownst to you, you saved her life. Both of you did." She tells us and I feel a lump form in my throat for what seems like the millionth time today.

"She started to get help, and she's recovering now." She smiles.

"For a long time she thought it couldn't get better for her, and she thought this would be the easy way out. But she was wrong. Because it _does_ get better. Whatever life throws at you, you're stronger than that. You're stronger than you realise." She says and it hits home because she's right.

I know now that I'm stronger than I ever even knew. Because Zayn and I have been through hell and back but we won't give up. I'm still not sure what's going on right now but what I do know is that we fought. We fought for our survival and that's all that matters. You know what they say? It has to rain before a rainbow can appear, and I'm going to keep fighting until I see my rainbow, because I deserve that. _Everyone_ deserves that.

Zayn's mum walks towards us. "It's time now." She says.

"Time for what?" Zayn and I say simultaneously.

She doesn't answer us. She just looks up at me and places her hands on my chest.

"Clear!" She shouts, pushing at my chest.

"W-what?" I stutter, looking at Zayn for some kind of explanation but he looks just as confused as I do.

"Clear!" She repeats, louder this time, still pushing at my chest.

I begin to feel funny, as if my whole body is vibrating at a high speed. Everything is disintegrating around me. Zayn disappears and I want to call out for him but I can't.

Zayn's mum looks me in the eye once more and gives me a small smile before she presses on my chest again.

"Clear!"

My eyes suddenly snap open and all that surrounds me is bright white light.


	40. Chapter 40

My eyesight is blurred. I can make out silhouettes above me, they're surrounded by bright light.

My body feels numb - an uncomfortable kind of numb. Like I have pins and needles on every inch of me.

I blink a few times until a clear picture comes into view.

"She's back!" A man shouts.

Immediately after he says this I hear shuffling about and mindless chatter, and I can feel hands all over my body - prodding at me and adjusting wires.

"You're in hospital. You're okay." He says. His words come out slightly muffled. It takes me a few seconds to realise he's a doctor.

"I'm Doctor Forsyth. Can you tell me your name?" He asks.

"Kaya Greyson." I say quietly, voice sounding groggy and hoarse.

"And do you know what year it is, Kaya?" He asks.

"2014." I say and he nods.

"Do you remember what happened?" He asks me and I just stare at him blankly.

"It's okay, that's okay." He says, holding a hand up to me.

I just nod at him as I'm unsure of what to say.

"Your heart stopped for a few minutes there Kaya." He says and my eyes widen in complete shock.

"But you're back now, you came back to us. You're okay." He reassures me.

"Zayn?" I ask. I need to see Zayn.

"I need you to rest at the moment Kaya." He says and I begin to panic.

"Where is he? Where's Zayn?" I ask again, sitting up a bit too quickly. Something starts to beep and I realise I've caused one of the wires connected to me to be ripped out as I moved.

My quick movement has brought back all of the immense pain in my body and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I quickly lie back down. My whole body aches, especially my leg. A nurse rushes over to me to re-attach the wires that were just ripped from my arms.

"Kaya please, I need you to calm down." The doctor says.

"Where is he?" I try to shout, beginning to feel nauseous.

"You're in pain. Relax." The doctor says and I want to scream at him for not telling me where he is but I just don't have the energy for it.

He hands me a small cap with some pills in it and a glass of water. I immediately swallow the pills down with the cold water. I feel the refreshing liquid slide down my throat and it feels amazing - exactly what I needed.

My eyelids begin to feel heavy almost instantly. I have no idea what the doctor just gave me but I feel high as a fucking kite. The pain begins to wear off as I feel like everything around me is turning into fluffy white clouds, including the bed I'm lying on.

I feel majorly relaxed as I close my eyes and settle into the clouds.

-

I open my eyes to bright light once again. I squint my eyes and realise that it's sunlight shining through the window - I must've slept straight through the night.

My body doesn't feel as sore as it did before I slept. It feels more relaxed, although it's nowhere near back to its normal self.

I catch a glimpse of movement out of the corner of my eye and I quickly snap my head around to see who it is.

As soon as I see them I can't stop myself from bursting into tears.

My mum and dad lock eyes with me and do the exact same thing. My mum sits beside me on the bed and takes me into her arms.

"My baby." She cries.

"Hey kiddo, don't cry. You're safe now." My dad says, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

"I'm alive." I whisper and it's only in this moment that reality sinks in. I'm alive. I'm here. I actually made it. My heart gave up on me but it fought back even harder and pulled me back to life.

"You're okay, everything's okay now." Mum says, pulling my head to her chest and stroking my hair.

I just stay there in her arms for a few moments before I pull back.

I still feel sleepy and sedated. I look down and my leg is now in a cast. My arms and my other leg is covered in cuts and bruises and I dread to think what my face looks like.

"Kaya?" A mans voice says. I look up to see two policemen walk into the room.

"Glad to see you awake." One of them says.

"Is now a good time to talk?" The other one asks and I shake my head. I really don't think I have it in me to talk about it right now.

"That's fine, we can come back another time. You rest up Kaya." He smiles and bows his head, before him and his partner exit the room.

A familiar ache begins to claw at my heart again.

"Zayn?" I ask my mum, eyes full of worry and a heart heavy with fear.

"He's alive." She tells me and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Is he alone? I need to see him." I say, sitting up.

"His gran is with him. The doctor has recommended you rest for a while Kaya, your body has been through an awful lot." She says.

"Tell me about it." I scoff and my dad chuckles.

"That's my girl. Glad to see the sarcasm wasn't knocked out of you." My dad says and I can't help but let out a small smile.

His face quickly turns serious and I can tell he's thinking about what happened.

"I'll never forgive myself for this." He says and it absolutely breaks my heart.

"It wasn't your fault." I tell him and he shakes his head.

"We could've got to you sooner, we could've..." His voice cracks and I quickly grab his hand.

"What's done is done. I'm okay, that's all that matters." I say and he nods.

My mum takes one of my hands and gives me a sympathetic look. "What?" I ask.

"I don't want you to panic, okay?" She says and immediately I do.

"Mum, what is it?" I ask, anxiety building inside of me.

"Zayn's really weak at the moment." She tells me.

"What do you mean?"

"He's on a ventilator." She says and my heart drops.

"He can't breathe on his own?" I ask, beginning to feel nauseous.

"Not at the moment, no."

"B-but he's going to be okay, right?"

"He's alive." She says.

"Mum that isn't what I asked, is he going to be okay?" I plead with my eyes for her to tell me the truth.

"Honestly, I don't know. He's critical at the moment." She sighs, eyes lowering to the ground.

That feels like a stab right through my heart. I lie back down on the bed and have to bite my lip to stop myself from breaking down.

"We need to stay positive." She says, trying to console me.

All I can do is nod because if I attempt to speak, all of my emotions will escape me.

-

It's just after 11pm and it's lights out time. My mum and dad left a few hours ago - after _a lot_ of persuasion from me that they didn't have to stay overnight and they could come back tomorrow.

I tried numerous times to see Zayn but I kept being told I was too weak to do so. If they think something as petty as that is going to stop me then they can think again.

The nurses reception is right outside my room, but it seems to be empty at the moment. There was one nurse with bright red hair, sipping her coffee while on the phone, but I can't see her anymore.

My room is shared with two other girls who seem to be sleeping, or unconscious, I'm not quite sure which one. I haven't seen them awake since I've been here. Then again, I've barely been awake since I've been here.

There's a wheelchair beside my bed, I think it belongs to one of the other girls in the room. _I'm sure they won't mind if I borrow it._

I sit up and try to ignore the pain shooting through my body. I position myself so that I can climb into the wheelchair but one wrong movement causes the chair to roll away from me.

"Fuck." I whisper.

"What's going on here then?" A nurses voice startles me, she's standing at the door with her arms crossed.

"I was just going to the toilet." I say.

"Mhm." She says, walking over to me.

"I wasn't born yesterday, I know where you were going." She says, a slight smirk on her face.

I let out a sigh. "I need to see him."

"Honey, you know you can't do that." She says, sitting beside me on the bed.

"I'm fine, look." I wave my arms in the air to show that I am in fact fine. My body aches as I do so but she doesn't know that.

"You're on bed rest." She says, standing up from the bed and wheeling the chair over to me.

_What is she doing?_

"But my shift ended five minutes ago." She tells me, reaching out for me and helping me on to the wheelchair.

"As far as I'm concerned, you were in bed last I checked."

"Thank you so much." I tell her.

She just smiles at me and wheels me up the corridor. We turn the corner and are met with double doors with the sign "intensive care unit" above it in bold writing.

My heart is beating far too fast and loud and I'm positive it's about to burst out of my body. I feel a cold sweat trickle down my neck as the air around me turns clammy and blankets me. She wheels me through the double doors and stops at a room at the end of the corridor.

"He's unconscious at the moment." She tells me and I look at her with complete fear in my eyes.

"He's in a coma?" I ask in disbelief and she gives me a sympathetic look.

"But he's responsive." She quickly adds.

"Can he hear me?" I ask.

"There's a high possibility he can." She says and I nod slowly.

I take a deep breath before she opens the door and wheels me in.

As soon as I see him I want to break down. The ventilator beeps away beside him. He looks so weak. Wires encase his frail body - hooked up to various different machines.

His face is swollen and bruised. His whole body covered in black and blue.

I choke out a sob and quickly cover my mouth.

"I'll leave you to it." The nurse says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

She wheels me right beside his bed before she leaves us alone and that's when I completely break down.

Hot tears sting my eyes and my cheeks. Every body-wracking cry is like a gunshot right through me but I can't stop myself.

I lift his fragile hand slowly to my mouth, placing a light kiss on it - leaving it wet with tears.

"You're stronger than anyone I know Zayn." I cry.

"What are you doing? C'mon." I plead.

"You can breathe on your own, I know you can."

"I know you can do it." My voice becomes a whisper.

"Please wake up." I say quietly, my voice cracking through my cries.

I slowly lift his hand and press my forehead against it, tears rolling down my face and landing on the bed. My heart feels absolutely broken inside of me. Like it's shattered to a million pieces and it's viciously weighing me down and piercing my insides.

"I love you. I love you so much. I can't lose you. Not now Zayn, I can't."

My sobs seem to escape me in rhythm with the various machines he's hooked up to.

"Please wake up." I whisper. And again. And again. Until a chorus of _please wake up_ is all I can say.


	41. Chapter 41

_ A _ _ uthors note _ _:_ _when you see_ **_**_ ** _in the story, you should listen to_ _Coldplay - Fix You._ _You don't need to but I did while writing and it just gives extra effect y'know?_

–

My eyes are closed, I don't want to open them yet. I can smell fresh air - it's crisp and clean. Does that description even fit fresh air? I'm uncertain. It seems to be more of a feeling to me than anything. The way it hits my skin and travels up my nose as I breathe it in, leaving a slight chill in its wake.

I open my eyes and sunlight hits me. The sky is a piercing shade of blue, clouds drift by as I watch on.

I sit up slowly and look around me. Not a single soul is around, only me. I'm in some sort of grassy land. The grass I'm sitting on is freshly cut and laced with daisies. My fingers find their way to the grass and I absentmindedly pull a daisy from it. I roll it back and forth between my forefinger and my thumb as I examine it.

I stand up and place the daisy in my pocket. _Where am I? Why am I here? Am I alone?_

"Hello?" I say, but am only answered by silence.

Something catches my eye and I quickly turn my head around to see what it was. A figure. I can see someone standing behind a tree.

"Is someone there?" I call out, walking towards the tree.

My heart rate rapidly increases as it's Zayn who steps out from behind the tree. He shakes his head no from side to side. His whole body is black and blue. Cuts and bruises cover every inch of him. Blood drips from his wounds.

"Zayn!" I begin to run towards him but I stop abruptly when he raises a hand in the air. He lowers a finger to his lips.

_What the fuck is going on?_

He places a hand on his heart and begins to walk backwards, away from me.

"Where are you going?" I ask, beginning to panic. He keeps his hand on his heart but shakes his head again.

The air behind him slowly turns black, then the daisies, and then the grass.

"Zayn stop!" I shout, just as he steps on the now black daisies and disappears in front of my eyes.

I jolt awake with a pounding heart and a layer of sweat coating me.

"Kaya?" I feel someone's hand on me.

I look up to see Clara above me and I let out a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bad dream." I tell her as soon as I catch my breath.

I lean back in my wheelchair and wince at the pain in my neck. I realise I fell asleep holding Zayn's hand, with my head resting on the side of his bed in an awkward position.

Clara bends down and pulls me into a hug.

"Did I miss anything?" I ask her after she pulls back.

"Nope. He's just the same." She says, sadness spreading across her face as she lowers her eyes to the ground.

My heart physically hurts. Not just my heart, my stomach too. It's like the pain in my heart is that intense that it's furiously spreading right through me - infecting every part of me. Just the thought alone of losing him is absolutely heartbreaking. The world couldn't possibly function without Zayn Malik in it, not my world anyway.

I thought I'd been in love before, but I was so wrong. Because the way I feel about Zayn cannot even compare to the way I've felt about anyone else.

Trust me when I say I'm definitely not one for believing that 'love at first sight' cliché bullshit, but what I do believe in is _something_ at first sight. Have you ever met someone and instantly you felt drawn to them? Whether it was love, hate, lust, curiousity or everything in between. You felt _something_ and that something kept drawing you back to them.

And then one day you just _know_. It all clicks in place for you and you just know that this is the person you've been waiting for. The person who comes into your life and ignites that spark inside of you that no one else can even come close to lighting. It's like you can physically feel your soul inside of you, acting as a magnet and pulling this other persons soul right to you - where it belongs.

He's the person I've been waiting for and I refuse to lose him to something like this.

"Are you okay?" Clara asks me again and I internally laugh, not a humorous laugh but a broken laugh.

"Not really." I tell her and she pulls a chair next to me and sits down.

"I can't even begin to imagine what the both of you went through." She says.

"It's like, it's like something you read about or see in a film, something you don't expect to happen to you, you know?" I say, a nervousness in the pit of my stomach as the horrific events play over in my mind.

"And to be betrayed like that, by someone I thought I could trust." I tell her and she looks at me with confusion.

"Madge. She was a friend of mine, we worked together. She was in on it, so was my boss." I explain and she looks shocked.

"That's awful." She says. "I had no idea. I thought it was just...him." She says in pure disgust.

"I'd only met him once." She tells me. "It was before Zayn was born, my daughter and Zayn's father had just gotten engaged - we'd thrown them an engagement party."

"I'd only spoken to him once that night, he seemed, like a normal guy. I just can't believe this, and the fact Zayn has been living in that house absolutely sickens me. If I wouldn't have abandoned him..." She says, tears welling in her eyes.

I lean forward and pull her into a hug. "It's not your fault Clara." I tell her. Nobody could have known his horrific secret.

She just nods as she wipes away the tears from under her eyes.

"Kaya?" A voice disturbs us. I look up to see the policemen from yesterday and my heart sinks. I guess it's now or never.

"Up for a chat yet?" He says and I nod.

He takes me to a little room outside the intensive care unit and tells me not to worry. I know I've nothing to worry about but even talking about what happened makes me absolutely sick to my stomach.

I give my statement about what happened and it's over before I know it.

-

I'm taken back to my room afterwards for a quick check up, despite my reluctance to leave Zayn. My mum and dad have brought a bag with some of my stuff in it as I'm being kept in for a few days.

I rifle through my bag and pull out my iPod. I make a playlist of all Zayn's favourite songs and after my parents leave, the nurse from last night - who I found out is called Hilda - takes me back to Zayn's room.

 ****** As I'm wheeled back into Zayn's room, the weight on my shoulders and the heaviness on my heart reappears.

I look up at Zayn. My eyes slowly linger over his swollen and bruised face - taking in all the damage done. Despite the harshness of his injuries, he looks peaceful - like he's just in a deep sleep, and I suppose he is. _A sleep to regain his energy before he comes back to me._

My eyes move along to the machines next to him, and then to the wires connecting him to them. The low buzzing of the machines fill the silence of the room in a steady rhythm - the sound not really noticeable until you pay attention, and then it becomes all you hear.

I move my eyes to the walls, they're a basic eggshell colour. No pictures, no windows, no decoration. There's a crack at the top of the wall. I follow it with my eyes as it runs right through to the ceiling and stops at the dull light in the middle of it.

I tear my eyes away from the ceiling and lean forward and gently place earphones in Zayn's ears. I press shuffle on my iPod and my heart sinks as _Coldplay - Fix You_ begins to play.

I try desperately to hold my tears in but then I think what's the point? What good will bottling up all of my feelings do?

So I break down, for what feels like the millionth time.

And it's worse this time than it's ever been before. Because it's been one full day and he's still in a coma and he still can't breathe on his own.

Every bad thought crosses my mind at least a hundred times, leaving furious slashes deep in my heartstrings.

My heart has been through more in the past twenty-four hours than it ever has before. It _stopped working_ for fuck sake. And then it bounced back to life.

But this? This is worse. Because I can _feel_ it this time. It's all I can feel. This heavy ache in my heart, weighing me down.

I cry and cry and don't bother stopping - as if somehow, if I cry hard enough, the pain will escape along with my tears.

My breath hitches as I feel Zayn's hand tighten around my finger. I snap my head up and his eyes are still closed. Before I even have a chance to react everything around me goes by in a slow motion blur. A machine is beeping loudly, nurses are piling into the room and I'm being pulled out.


	42. Chapter 42

"Code blue! Code blue!" Someone's raised voice goes right through me.

"What's going on?!" I ask in my panicked state as I'm being pulled out of the room.

Nurses rush by me frantically and I feel lightheaded. My heart settles heavily at the very pit of my stomach.

"Miss, please we need you to wait out here." Someone says to me as I attempt to grant access to Zayns room once again.

Everything seems to be going by in a blur as I watch on in confusion and dismay.

Clara appears beside me and puts a hand on my arm as we watch the nurses pile into Zayn's room.

Seconds later the door swings open and I see Zayns bed being wheeled out.

I lurch forward - seemingly forgetting I'm a leg down - causing the pain to overtake me. I feel my leg start to give way but Clara grabs me and holds me up before I have the chance to fall.

I try to ignore the pain and turn my attention to the nurses who are frantically trying to get Zayn out of here.

"Where are you taking him?" I shout, only to be ignored.

Hilda heads towards me and I know she'll tell me what's going on.

"Hilda, please." I look at her with pleading eyes.

"He urgently needs surgery. Just, please, stay positive okay? I need to go." She tells me and rushes over to join the rest of the nurses.

Within a flash they're gone and Clara and I stand there in shock.

She helps me onto the seat in the corridor and pulls the wheelchair over and sits it beside me.

"He moved Clara." I tell her, my voice shaking with emotion.

"He squeezed my hand." I say, lowering my head.

To feel movement from him, directed to me, while he's in a comatose state means _everything_.

I like to think he knew it was me there - that he felt my hand around his and he wanted to somehow let me know that he felt my presence there.

—

Two hours pass. Two gruelling hours. Not one single nurse or doctor has come by. We've been sitting in silence for the most part, the both of us too worried to speak. And that's probably the worst way we can be right now. We need to try and stay positive for Zayn. Because he's a fighter, he's a _warrior_. But it's still hard nonetheless. That slight possibility that something bad will happen hangs over me like a rainy cloud, waiting to drench me.

We've both had enough hospital vending machine coffee to last a lifetime as we sit and watch the world go by. It's ironic how we watch everyone else's worlds pass by, while we sit here and wonder if ours will ever be the same again.

My mum and dad sit with us for about half an hour, before I tell them it isn't necessary. I don't mean for it to sound so harsh, I just don't see the point of all of us just waiting around.

But I won't lie, their presence here does put me at ease. Like they've banded together to act as some sort of parental shield, guarding me and protecting me. And I feel safe as I sit here in their company. I feel comfortable. But I suppose that's what parents are for isn't it? To provide you with that safe haven whenever you need it. And today I definitely need it.

They leave after a while to go get us some food to bring back to us later. Just the thought of eating makes me feel nauseous.

My parents give Clara and I a hug before they leave, and my mum whispers in my ear "it'll all work out," before they both disappear up the corridor.

And then it's back to waiting.

Another hour and a half of the painful waiting game passes.

To me, waiting seems to be like a rollercoaster. You pass every emotion on your way up and then you crash into them head first on your way back down. It's unsettling. The not knowing how your life is going to be in the near future. I mean, no one knows what the future holds. But what I mean by that is, am I going to enter my future with Zayn? Or am I going to have to face it alone?

I cast my eyes to a room across from us. The curtain is slightly opened so I can easily see what's going on in the room. A doctor is there. There's a woman in the hospital bed surrounded by a man, an older woman and an older man - what I assume to be her family.

The older woman suddenly doubles over and bursts into tears. The woman on the bed covers her mouth and does the same. It's evident they've just received bad news.

The older woman rushes out of the room and I know I should look away, show them some respect, but I can't seem to do it. The older man rushes out after her - I assume him to be her husband - and wraps his arms around her, pulling her head to his chest. He places a soft kiss to her hair as they both stand there crying, breaking down, holding each other.

And I can't help but wonder, will that be me soon? Crippled by bad news, heartbroken, inconsolable. Except one thing will be different if that is the outcome, I won't have the one person I need the most to guide me through it.

—

_Guys my story has moved up to #28 in mystery/thriller ahhhh!!_

_Thank you so much again for voting and commenting it means the world!_

_I have a random question, do any of you even know my name or am I just mysterious nameless girl who writes entangled?_


	43. Chapter 43

I've lost count of how many hours have passed. I stopped keeping track of the time when the clock I was burning my gaze into suddenly turned blank. It was like the black of the hands and the eggshell of the walls started to blend together, and that's when I knew I had to look away. Almost as if someone was sending me some sort of sign - _nothing to see here_ _. Direct_ _your gaze elsewhere_ _. Stop_ _giving me all_ _of_ _your attention, it won't help._

Night has fallen outside, visiting time has ended, shifts have rotated and here we are still.

My energy is low. It's on the brink of completely running out and flatlining. My eyes are stinging and I desperately want to rub them, but I know if I do that my brain will think I'm closing my eyes to sleep, and I'm afraid I'll fall too deep and miss something.

This one nurse keeps coming by - I think her name is Harriet. She looks to be about thirty years old. She can't tell me what's going on with Zayn, all she keeps telling me is that _I_ need to rest because I'm in recovery. I know she's only doing her job but she's starting to get on my nerves.

I've told her numerous times I'm not moving until I know that he's okay and that I can see him, and every single time she storms off with a face like a slapped arse. Then ten minutes later she comes back and says the same thing.

I'm considering pretending I don't speak English anymore, that I just suddenly forgot how to do so. But then again she'd probably want to take me for a brain scan or something so I'd better not.

My mum and dad came back with food for us last night but left again shortly after, promising they'd be back today.

Clara nudges me with her elbow and quickly stands up and I follow where her eyes are looking. Zayn's doctor is walking towards us. This is it. This is where I find out if my life is ever going to be the same again.

My heart is beating rapidly as he approaches us with my whole life in his hands. Whatever he says will either make me or break me. Will he shatter the remains of my heart into a million pieces in front of my eyes? Or will he glue the already broken pieces back together? I tune everybody out as I stare intently at his mouth, watching as the words leave it.

"Surgery was a success. He's awake." I hear him say and my entire world snaps back into focus.

I can physically feel the worry and doubt and dread disintegrating inside of me as the words replay in my mind. _He's awake._

"He's stable and is now on the road to recovery." He tells us and now it's sinking in. He's okay, he's going to be okay. _He's awake._

"Oh my god." I finally manage to say. An enormous smile covers my face and I can't help the tears that are now streaming down my face.

"You can see him now." The doctor tells us.

I look to Clara with absolute relief and she pulls me into her arms. "You go see him first." She tells me, pulling back and placing her hands on the sides of my face.

"You sure?" I ask and she gives me a nod.

"Thank you so much." I tell her and she gives me another hug, before helping me back onto the wheelchair.

The doctor wheels me up the corridor towards where Zayn is and I am physically shaking with nerves.

"Now he's still a bit weak at the moment, and he may be slightly confused." The doctor tells me and I nod. I take a deep breath but don't release it.

He wheels me into Zayn's room and every single emotion hits me at once as I lay my eyes on him. The deep breath is knocked out of me and I cover my mouth to try and stifle my sobs. _Stop crying. Stop crying. You've no reason to cry anymore, he's awake._ I make a silent promise to myself to not burst into tears again as it's absolutely exhausting me.

He turns his head to look at me and his eyes light up as he does, making my heart skip a beat, or several.

"Zayn..." I say, voice shaking with emotion.

He tries to speak but his voice sounds croaky and hoarse.

I take his hand in mine and he tries to speak again but starts to cough.

"Don't speak." I tell him, gently pushing the hair back from his forehead and placing a light kiss on it.

"Just rest, we can talk later okay?" I say and he lazily nods.

His eyelids are drooping and he looks absolutely run-down.

"Go to sleep." I say softly, circling his hand with my thumb. "I'll be right here when you wake up." I promise him.

I watch as he closes his eyes and settles into sleep. His mind is here now, not just his body. He's back and he's breathing on his own and he's going to be okay.

As soon as the doctor told me he was going to be okay something happened inside of me. The heavy weight on my heart disappeared and I physically felt it as it did. I felt the change inside of me. The uncertainty and negativity faded away instantly and was replaced with relief and happiness.

A quiet tap on the door startles me but I visibly relax as Clara pops her head round and signals me to come out of the room. I look at Zayn once more and place a soft kiss on his hand before I leave the room.

When I get out into the ward I see Clara standing with the doctor. The doctor smiles at me as I approach them and Clara puts a hand on my shoulder.

"We'll need to keep him in for the time being, to monitor him." He explains.

"Thankfully the coma didn't cause any permanent damage to his brain. Now we just need to wait for him to wake up again to do more tests." He tells us.

–

I'm sitting at Zayn's bedside - I'm on one side, Clara's on the other. We're both reading books, sitting in a comfortable silence. These past few days Clara has been absolutely amazing. It's as though she's acting as the leg I was unable to use, metaphorically speaking - helping me to stand and holding me up when I was close to falling. Along with my parents, I wouldn't have gotten through this without them.

I find myself rereading the same line of my book over and over again, not really taking it in. My mind is elsewhere. Zayn's been sleeping for a few hours now. I watch on as his chest rises and falls slowly with every breath he takes. To know that just yesterday he couldn't breathe on his own, and now he can, makes my heart swell with pride.

I cast my eyes back to my book, attempting to read that one line again.

"Kaya?" Zayn's strained voice says, making my heart jump into my mouth.

"I'm here, I'm here." I say reassuringly, grazing a thumb over his hand.

"Your gran's here too." I tell him and he smiles - such a beautiful sight that I was afraid I wouldn't see again.

"Gran?" He says.

"Right here, Zaynie." She says, taking his other hand.

We all sit there for a few moments, just holding on to each other. Silently thanking god that we're okay, that we're here, _that we made it._

"I feel like I've swallowed glass." Zayn's voice breaks the silence.

I reach over to his bedside table and pick up the jug filled with water, and pour it into a plastic cup.

Zayn slowly lifts himself up and grimaces as he does.

I put a hand on the back of his neck, and lightly caress from his neck down to his back as he downs the cup of water.

He sits down the cup and turns to face me, reaching for my hand on his neck and lacing our fingers together.

"I'll let you two catch up." Clara says and I give her a look that says _thank you_ _so much_ , and she just gives me a knowing smile before placing a kiss on Zayns cheek and exiting the room.

"I love you." Zayn says and I promised myself I wouldn't cry any more because everything's okay now, but I can't control my emotions. Just hours ago I sat in a waiting room wondering if I'd ever hear him say those words again and now that he's here in front of me, conscious and breathing, it's everything I needed to hear and it hits me hard.

"Please don't cry." He puts his hands on the top of my arms and runs them up and down, causing goosebumps to appear in the wake of his touch.

"I'm not sad." I assure him through my tears, "I'm just, overwhelmed. I thought I was going to lose you and now you're back, you're back and you're breathing and-" he cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine.

Knowing that I came so close to never feeling his lips on mine again, never feeling his hands intertwined in mine again or never feeling his fingers lace through my hair again absolutely kills me. But knowing that now I _can_ feel all of that. I _can_ do all of that. I've no idea what this feeling is - it's indescribable really, but it's everything I never even knew I needed and I want to savour every damn second of it.

-

_It_ _seems that only like two of you know my name, so let me introduce myself..._

_My_ _name is_ _S_ _tacie,_ _I_ _'m 2_ _1_ _years old and_ _I'_ _m from_ _Scotland hiiiiii_

_Your_ _turn, introduce yourselves in the comments_ _I_ _wanna get to know you guys :)_

_–Sx_


	44. Chapter 44

It's release day for us both, the day we finally face the outside world. Saying that I'm nervous would be a massive understatement - I am absolutely terrified.

We found out from the police that Zayns uncle was killed in the fire and that Madge and Mr Hedshaw had been locked up. Due to the amount of substantial evidence against all three of them, there was no need for Zayn and I to go to court. I don't know how I would have coped if we had to. I should feel something after being told that news - happiness, relief, _anything_. But I feel absolutely nothing.

We've also been warned that a lot of reporters have swarmed outside the hospital, desperate for an interview from us. The police have advised us to ignore them and told us that we would have escorts to guard us when leaving the hospital. I wouldn't dare sell my story to a reporter about what happened. The fact that people actually try to make money out of situations like this is absolutely sickening.

"This is it then." Zayn says, taking my hand in his and looking down at it.

"Back to reality." I sigh.

"We've been through much worse." He says, a small smile playing on his face and I can't help but smile back.

"Ready?" Clara asks, appearing in the doorway.

Zayn looks at me and gives me a nod before standing up from the bed and holding out my crutches for me.

I take one last look at the four walls surrounding me. These four walls where I furiously battled with my own thoughts and imagination, wondered, prayed and cried every night while I was here. These walls have seen a lot, I'm sure they'll be glad to see the back of me. I'll certainly be glad to see the back of them.

I take a deep breath as we walk out into the ward. Zayn and I's doctor, Hilda and a few other nurses that we've gotten to know during our time here are standing waiting for us. We give our massively grateful thank you's and we say goodbye.

"You two look after each other." Hilda says as we leave.

I give her a smile before the police escorts arrive to take us home.

I've mastered how to walk with only one crutch, so Zayn takes my free hand in his and we both take a deep breath before we head for the exit of the hospital.

Two police officers walk in front of us and one behind us, and I find myself thinking _is this really necessary?_ Until the automatic doors open and a mob of people rush towards us, lights flashing from every angle. Zayn tightens his grip on my hand and the police officers move closer to us as we walk out into the horde of people.

"Zayn! Kaya!" A voice shouts.

_"Zayn, did you know your uncle was a murderer?"_

_"Kaya, how does it feel to be betrayed by a friend?"_

_"Did staff at Crystal Hills High School know about this?"_

"Step back!" One of the police officers shout and in one hectic blur, we're in the back of the police car with Clara in the front.

As we sit in the back seat my hands won't stop shaking. All of these people knowing my name, knowing what happened to me, it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

"It's okay." Zayn whispers, putting his hand on top of mine to stop me shaking.

We arrive at my house shortly after to my mum and dad standing at the front door waiting for us.

My dad retrieves our bags from the back of the car and takes them into the house.

My mum wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight hug.

"Welcome home sweetheart." She says.

"It's nice to finally meet you Zayn, I've heard a lot about you." She smiles and gives him a hug like the one she just gave me.

"And you, Mrs Greyson. I've heard a lot about you too." He smiles, kissing her on the cheek. _What a charmer._

"All good I hope!" She laughs. "And please, call me Skylar."

"Good to see you again Clara." My mum moves on and hugs Clara next.

"And you dear." Clara smiles, hugging her back.

"Right let's get inside." Mum says, ushering us in.

As we walk through the door I feel something in my stomach - I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's like, comfortable and familiar and just _wow I'm actually in my own home where I thought I'd never be again._ The smell of dinner cooking fills my nostrils and my stomach rumbles, seemingly agreeing with my brain that it smells delightful.

"Welcome home kid." My dad says, pulling me into a hug.

"You must be Zayn." He says with a smile, extending his hand out to shake Zayn's.

"That's me, nice to meet you sir." He says, shaking my dads hand and I have to stop myself from laughing at the fact he just called my dad sir, such a polite bastard.

"Call me Tommy." Dad says.

"Clara, lovely to see you again." He says, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi Tommy, and you." Clara says.

"Hungry?" My mum asks us. "Dinners almost ready." She says.

"Ravished." I say and everyone laughs before heading into the living-room, leaving Zayn and I in the hall.

"Drama queen." Zayn whispers in my ear with a smirk as he stands behind me, arms around my waist.

"Shut up." I say, swatting him on the leg.

"Whatever peg-leg." He says with a laugh.

"Listen, you'll be carrying me about until this heals so I don't know what you're laughing about."

He turns me round to face him and pulls me in for a kiss. "Fine by me." He says.

–

Mum and Dad made a lovely roast chicken with all the trimmings and it was absolutely delicious - the first proper meal I've had in god knows how long. Nobody brought up what happened to us and for that I'm very thankful - we'd rather just forget about it and try to move on.

"We'd better get going." Mum says after all the washing up is done.

"Yep, me too." Clara says with a yawn.

"We'll give you a lift." Dad says and Clara thanks them.

Zayn and I walk them to the door and say our goodbyes and then it's just the two of us.

He takes my crutch from me and holds me up as he sits it at the front door.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

He doesn't answer me, instead he just shrugs his shoulders and gently grips my thighs – picking me up and carrying me bridal style into the living-room.

I burst into laughter and bury my face into his neck and he joins in too.

"My girl needs to rest her peg-leg." He tells me as he sits me down on the couch.

He turns the TV on and sits down beside me. He places a cushion on top of his knees and then lifts my legs on top of it. I just watch on in complete awe and with a ridiculous smile on my face as I wonder _how the hell did I get so lucky?_

"You're alright, you know that?" I tell him, taking one of his hands in mine.

"I quite like you." I say.

"Good thing that, because I quite like you too." He laughs.


	45. Chapter 45

I'm awake but I haven't opened my eyes yet. I just want to bask in the warm covers wrapped around my body for a little while longer. I stretch with content and roll over to pull Zayn closer to me but my arm falls upon emptiness. I open my eyes to find his side of the bed empty.

I glance at the clock on the bedside table, it reads 10:46am.

I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes before reaching for my crutch and pulling myself out of bed.

I stretch my arms and let out a yawn as I walk up the hall.

"Okay, I'll be there sometime today. Right. Thanks, bye." I hear Zayn's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Good morning." I say sleepily as I enter the kitchen. He's leaning against the sink with a mug of coffee in his hand. His hair is slanted to one side - probably from lying on it - and it looks like a squinty Mohican, but he still looks better than anyone should ever look in the morning.

"Morning peg-leg." He smiles, walking over to me and kissing me on the forehead. "Coffee?" He asks.

"Please." I practically groan, I don't function properly in the morning unless I get my coffee.

He pulls the seat from the kitchen table out for me and takes my crutch and helps me to sit down.

"Here." He says, sitting the coffee down in front of me. He puts it in my favourite mug which gives me a happy warmth in my stomach due to the fact I've never actually told him it was my favourite, I always use it and I guess it's just something he picked up on.

"Thank you." I smile, placing my hands around the mug to warm them up.

"The people working on the damage to the mansion called, said I could go pick up my stuff whenever." He says.

"What's going to happen to the house?" I ask.

"They said it's a mess. It's still a crime scene so the place is swarming with police officers and forensic investigators. Plus the fire brigade are there too because of the fire damage." He tells me.

He sits down at the seat across from me and there's a look on his face I can't read, annoyance maybe?

"So, apparently he has a wife. Or _had_ a wife should I say. His will states that all his belongings are now hers." He says and my mouth drops open.

"His _wife_?"

"He was good at keeping secrets, I'll give him that." He shrugs defeatedly.

"My god. You think she knew?" I ask.

"Who knows? She could be as fucked up as him for all we know. Or she could be as in the dark as I was. I don't really care, I'm not sticking around to find out. I just want to get my stuff and never step foot in that house again." He says and I nod.

"I told them I'd be there sometime today to get my stuff. I'm gonna phone gran, see if I can crash there until I sort myself out." He sighs.

"Why don't you stay here?"

"I don't wanna intrude." He says and I laugh and give him a look that says _you for real?_

"First of all," I say, grabbing my crutch and standing up. "You intrude all the time anyway." I walk over to him, "I mean, you drink all of my coffee and eat all of my mini cheddars." I place a soft kiss on his cheek. " _But_ , you also make a kick ass carbonara, so I guess it wouldn't suck to have you around."

"How about it? Roomies?" I ask.

"Roomies, huh?" He smiles. "I like that."

I raise an eyebrow and give him an expectant look.

"Let's do it." He says and pulls me closer for a kiss.

"Look at us being all grown-up and coupley." I say.

"Cute as fuck." He says, holding up a hand for a high-five.

I give him a high-five and try to control the stupid grin on my face but it's useless.

"Since we're roomies now, you better get cracking on breakfast." I say, trying to keep a straight face.

"You're lucky I love you." He says, giving me the middle finger before opening the fridge.

–

We take the turn-in to Zayn's street and I immediately want to turn back and go home.

The street is crawling with news reporters, police officers, firemen and forensic investigators, and the mansion gates are cordoned off with **_crime scene - do not cross_** tape.

I look up at the top floor of the mansion where we were trapped. A shiver runs up my spine as I notice the covered windows are charred black.

Zayn pulls over at the end of the street where nobody can see us.

"We can do this another time if you want?" He asks.

"Or I can go in alone?" He says.

"No, it's fine. I'll come with you." I say and he gives me a soft smile.

"We'll just be in and out." He promises and I nod.

He starts the car again and drives towards the cordoned off gates.

Heads turn as we drive by and I feel sick as people start to recognise us. Reporters faces light up as they notice us and they start running towards the car. Zayn rolls the window down once we reach the gates and a police officer approaches us.

"I spoke to Benny." Zayn says. "I've come to pick up my stuff." He tells the police officer.

"On you go." The police officer says with a nod, opening up the gates.

Zayn takes a deep breath as he drives towards the front door.

"You okay?" I ask him as he stops the car.

He tightens his grip on the steering wheel and releases a long, deep breath before nodding.

We get out of the car and Zayn gets my crutch from the back seat and hands it to me. He takes my other hand and we just stare at the doors in front of us for a few seconds before we walk up the steps towards them.

The doors screech as they open and the sound enters my ears and shoots right through my body like venom.

As soon as we step through the doors my stomach knots. The place is manic. I have to tear my eyes away as the investigators carry evidence past us. Zayn squeezes my hand and pulls me away from it.

"You must be Zayn." A man approaches us.

"Benny?" Zayn asks.

"That's me, nice to meet you." He says, shaking Zayn's hand.

"And you." Zayn says. "This is my girlfriend Kaya." He introduces me and I'm thankful that the butterflies inside of my stomach managed to break through the knots.

"Nice to meet you, Kaya." Benny says, shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you too." I smile.

"You two need any help packing? I can get my boys on it." He says.

"We're good thanks, there isn't much to pack anyway." Zayn tells him.

"Alright, well if you change your mind just let me know. I'll see you later."

We thank him and say our goodbyes before heading to Zayn's bedroom.

As he opens the door it's as though I've stepped back into time.

Zayn sitting on the floor clutching his ribs runs through my mind over and over. I always had a feeling that there was something more to the story that day, if only I would've acted on my instinct - maybe things would be different.

"Hey, you okay?" Zayn's voice breaks my thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I say.

"Let's get this over and done with." He says, and so we do.

–

"What on earth possessed you to buy that lamp?" I laugh as I chop up some vegetables for dinner.

"I won that lamp I'll have you know. I never win shit, so _excuse_ _me_ for being proud of finally winning something in my life." He says.

"And where did you win it? Salt, please." I gesture towards the salt dish next to him.

"Prize bingo." He says, picking up the salt dish and bringing it over to me.

"Okay so you're telling me that you won prize bingo - where you get to choose your own prize - and _that_ is what you chose."

"Damn right." He nods.

"Malik." I tut, tilting my head. "C'mon now, I thought you had taste?"

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. "I do have taste, I'm with you aren't I?" He smiles smugly.

I laugh and lift my hand to where his head is resting on my shoulder and lightly pat his cheek. "Your lines get worse every day you absolute cheeseball."

"You love it." He counters.

"I love _you_." I say, turning round to face him.

"Now who's a cheeseball?" He grins.

"So we're both cheeseballs." I say, rolling my eyes and shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh and by the way, I love you too." He says.

-

_SO MUCH CHEESE I'M PUKING_

_Sorry_ _but I felt like we needed some cheese after all the intense shit they went through ok_ _?_

_–Sx_


	46. Chapter 46

Authors note:   
I really recommend that you listen to **The 1975 - HNSCC** when you see ****** in this chapter, you don't have to but I just feel like it helps set the scene.

–

Funerals are bad enough to begin with, but two funerals in one week is absolutely soul-destroying.

Today is Darryl Breylin's funeral and tomorrow is Jacob Brixton's. The rest of the week is the funerals of the rest of the victims. It's not going to be an easy week for anybody involved that's for sure.

"Made some coffee." Zayn gestures to my mug on the table as I enter the living-room.

"Thanks. Can you zip me up?" I ask, lifting my hair up and turning my back to him. He zips my dress up and takes my crutch from me and we sit down on the couch with our coffees.

"How you feeling?" He asks.

"Ill." I tell him. My stomach has been churning with dread ever since I woke up this morning.

He places a hand on my leg to console me and we sit in a comfortable silence as we finish our coffee, just taking some time before we need to leave.

"Ready?" Zayn asks once we finish, standing up and holding out his hands to pull me up then handing me my crutch.

"I guess so." I sigh.

The drive to the church is silent. We don't bother putting any music on in the car, we don't even bother speaking. I watch out of the window as we drive and a wave of guilt settles in my stomach next to the sadness and nausea. I look at all the people walking about outside - breathing, smiling, _living._

Suddenly all I can focus on is the sound of Zayn and I's breathing - something I never really paid much attention to, something I took advantage of, because it's just an everyday thing isn't it? You take advantage of the little things such as breathing, spending time with the people you love, and just being alive in general. Your life can be taken away from you in an instant, the lives of your friends and family ripped apart in a flash. Life is precious, life is unpredictable - and I've had a harsh reality check to remind me of that.

I feel selfish as I sit here breathing. I feel selfish that Zayn and I survived but those innocent children didn't. I feel saddened that there are people in the world who do these kind of things. It makes you wonder, what happened to them? What possibly could have happened to them that was so awful that they felt they had to commit these horrific crimes? What gave them the right to think that they could take someone's precious life and destroy it and destroy the lives of their families and friends?

I snap out of my thoughts as I realise that we've arrived at the church. I watch as a sea of people dressed in black enter the church and I take a deep breath. Zayn gives me a small nod and grazes his thumb over my hand and we get out of the car.

We stand beside the car door for a moment and Zayn takes my hand and pulls me close to him. I lay my head on his chest and he places a soft kiss onto my hair.

"Let's go." He whispers.

As soon as I step foot in the church I have to swallow down the lump in my throat. The place is absolutely packed. People are lined up at the back and side of the church because there aren't enough seats. It's a harsh reminder of how loved Darryl is and how many people will miss him.

Zayn and I stand at the back of the church with some of my colleagues and shortly after, the service begins. His mum gives a heart-wrenching eulogy and heartbreak hangs over the whole church like a stormy cloud. I don't know how I manage it but I don't let any tears escape. I dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand to focus the pain somewhere other than my heart.

The service ends and everybody piles out of the church and into their cars to head to the cemetery. In my opinion this is the hardest part of a funeral, the final goodbye, and then they're just _gone_.

The hearse and the black limousines leave the church car park first, followed by the buses, and then the people in their own cars follow behind. I glance outside the window as we drive once again. People are staring. People are bowing their heads as a sign of respect.

 ****** We arrive at the cemetery and the dread inside of me seems to multiply. This is it. The finality of it all.

Everything seems to go slowly as people pile off the buses and out of their cars. As though everyone is trying to prolong the inevitable. Trying to hold off because they know that this is the final goodbye and just the thought of it is heartbreaking.

A silence hangs over the cemetery - all that can be heard is the sound of stones crunching underfoot as people make their way towards the grave. Birds quietly tweet as we walk. The sun shines offensively bright and cheerful and it just doesn't seem fitting. The clear blue sky above us is a complete contrast to the metaphorical grey cloud hanging over us.

I glance at where Darryl's coffin is about to be lowered to and thats when I notice the marble headstone above it. My heart aches as I read:

_Darryl Breylin_

_26th January 1995 - 16th July 2014_

_Beloved son, grandson, brother and friend._

_Always in our hearts._

His family stands at the front, followed by rows and rows of people, and then crowds because there's no more space for people to stand in a row.

The priest steps forward and begins speaking. I tune out what he's saying as I stare at Darryl's headstone. His date of death flashes over and over in my mind. His final day. The day he left this earth. The day that not only his life changed, but the day everyone's else's did too. That day will forever be a painful memory in our minds.

Six men stand up and walk towards his coffin, three at either side.

I've tried my absolute best to hold in my emotions but as the men take hold of the cords attached to his coffin, my eyes well up and the ache in my heart intensifies. People start to break down around me as his coffin is slowly lowered into the ground. Tears stream down my face as I watch on, I don't make a sound as they escape me. Zayn laces his fingers through mine and squeezes my hand.

Sounds of cries fill the grief filled air as people begin to drop handfuls of dirt on top of the coffin, while his family drop white roses, and then that's it. He's gone.

People start to make their way back to the cars and the buses to head to the funeral reception. Zayn and I decided before the funeral that we wouldn't go to the reception - that we would just go pay our respects and then leave again.

The crowd dissolves and Zayn and I walk back to the car. We stand beside the drivers door and he looks at me and pulls me close to him because he knows what's about to come. The minute my head hits his chest I break down. I cry and cry for the poor, innocent boy who's life was viciously stolen from him. I cry for his loved ones left behind with a hole in their hearts and an emptiness in their lives. And I cry for Zayn and I. I cry because we somehow made it but Darryl and the rest of the kids didn't, and that causes a heavy pain to weigh down my heart.

We stand in silence - Zayn holding me as I cry. We don't need any words. Today doesn't even deserve any words. At this moment I'm thankful that Zayn is here to face the silence with me.

-

_:((((_

_Let me know if you listened to the song while reading...just makes it all that sadder doesn't it? :(_

_-S x_


	47. Chapter 47

Last week was hard. It was physically draining to say the least. I've been to far too many funerals than I'd like in my life and they never get any easier.

Today I'm full of frustration. This cast and these crutches are driving me absolutely nuts. I feel so restricted and just plain annoyed. I've gotten used to using my crutch now and I'm just getting on with the fact I'm a leg down, but sometimes I just have these days where I want to jump about just for the sake of it, and then I remember I can't.

"We're not staying in today having you mull about how frustrated you are." Zayn says.

"What?" I ask.

"We're going out." He says and I let out a groan and close my eyes, shaking my head.

Zayn imitates my groan and takes my hands and pulls me up so I'm looking at him.

"We're going. Move your ass and get ready." He says, giving me one of his _I know you can't resist this_ smiles and I kind of want to slap him in the face for having that effect on me.

"You're an asshole." I say.

"But you love me." He smiles smugly before grabbing my crutch for me and helping me off the couch.

–

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Told you, it's a surprise." He smirks.

I roll my eyes at him and stare out the window as we drive. I'm being a total moody bitch today and he still hasn't lost patience with me and I honestly do not know how. If I was him I would've stopped the car and dropped me off in a field and left me there.

"What you thinking about?" He asks.

He quickly glances at me before turning his attention back to the road and that quick glance was really all I needed. Even if it was just for a second, the look in his eyes dissolved any frustration inside of me.

"How amazing you are." I smile.

"Someone's mood has lifted." He laughs.

"Guess that's the effect you have on me." I shrug.

"Glad to hear it." He takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

We continue driving for about fifteen minutes and I find myself feeling like I've been here before but I can't really put my finger on it.

We stop in a small car park with only a few cars in it and he comes round to the passenger side to help me out.

He opens the boot of the car and pulls out a picnic basket and I narrow my eyes at him. I didn't even see him put that in there.

"C'mon." He says, linking his arm in mine and leading the way.

We walk for a minute or so until a park comes into view. The park is full of people sitting, relaxing, eating and just playing around. A lot of people are enjoying the weather before autumn rolls in. The leaves on the trees are already starting to brown and crisp but there's still a warmth in the air.

"Picnic in the park? Sounds good." I smile.

"Actually, no." Zayn says with a smirk.

"No?" I ask, confused.

"Nope." He confirms.

"Then what are we doing here?"

"You'll see."

He leads me up a path through the park, and we walk past all of the crowds until we reach a little secluded spot away from everyone.

My heart swells as I notice a little stream next to the grass, similar to the one Zayn and I had our first date.

"Didn't want to go back to the stream at the mansion, you know, obvious reasons." He says.

"How did you even find this spot?" I ask, watching as Zayn pulls a blanket out of the picnic basket and lays it down on the grass.

"My gran lives not too far from here, she told me about it." He tells me. I knew this area looked familiar.

"You really know how to pull out all of the stops don't you?" I say as Zayn takes my crutch and helps me sit down on the blanket.

"It's a learning curve, never really met anyone worth pulling all the stops out for until now." He says and if I could just take this feeling inside of me right now and bottle it up, I would.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says, taking my hands.

"I really, _really_ love you Kaya. I didn't think I'd ever be one of those guys who constantly says it y'know? But what we went through...we don't know what tomorrow will bring. So I just want to make sure that you know exactly how I feel about you, and if that means constantly telling you that I love you then so be it."

I find myself frequently wondering how on earth I managed to find someone like Zayn. Like somebody up there knew that I'd never really been lucky with relationships so they thought _you know what? Today's the day this girl is going to meet the love of her life. Her hearts been through enough shit, let's show her what she's been missing._

And I genuinely feel like he's exactly what was missing. Have you ever had that feeling? Where there was something or someone missing from your life but you never even knew you needed it? Until that thing came into your life and it was like everything clicked into place. You finally found that place where you belong, where your safe haven is, where you're happiest. And now that you're there, you can't ever imagine being without it.

"You're everything." I tell him. "And I love you." I say, earning one of those smiles from him that make my heart go absolutely apeshit. He leans forward and kisses me and I know that's a feeling I'll never, ever get sick of. It's exciting and full of heat and love and electricity and it's not even a fraction of how he makes me feel.

–

_Just a heads up guys...the story is nearly over :(_

_There's still chapters to come but I just thought I'd let you all know that we're nearing the end so you could be prepared y'know?_

_It would mean the world if you guys could keep voting and commenting!_

_-Sx_


	48. Chapter 48

Autumn is now with us in full force. Carpets of leaves are scattered on the ground, crisping underfoot in their golden-brown glory. An autumn chill hangs in the air. The kind of chill that you can physically _feel_ enter your body as you breathe it in. There's a certain buzz outside, it's hard to explain. It's like halloween and bonfire night are nearing and everybody knows it, like it's just hanging in the air reminding everybody. Shops are stocking up on halloween costumes and treats and fireworks, and halloween films are beginning to air on TV.

My cast is off now and I could not be happier. I have one of those bandage casts on for extra protection but get this, _I can walk_. No crutch, no help. Kaya Greyson has two fully functioning legs once again.

I've spent my morning walking from the kitchen to the living-room and then back again. What else is there to do on a Saturday morning? I've to take it easy but I'm trying to build up my strength again so here I am, walking like a champ.

"Relax, will you?" Zayn says, walking into the living-room with two mugs of coffee.

"Talking about?" I ask.

"That leg of yours. You _just_ got the cast off, you're going to end up with it back on in no time." He sits the coffees down on the table and walks back over to me.

"I'm only walking." I say.

"No no, you're pacing." He says, taking my hands and leading me over to the couch.

"Same difference." I tell him.

"Not at all, but whatever. Here." He sits a cushion on top of his legs and then stretches my legs out on top of it.

I flick through the channels on the TV but there's absolutely nothing on. As usual.

"You know what we should do?" Zayn says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Celebrate." He says.

"Celebrate what?"

"Celebrate that your cast is off and you're not a total peg-leg anymore, just a half a peg-leg now." He smiles.

"You loved my peg-leg, don't deny it. My cast was full of your drawings."

"Ah, but you loved my drawings." He counters.

"True." I nod.

"So, celebration?" He says again.

"I like your way of thinking." I tell him and he winks at me.

–

"Help me asshole." I laugh, picking up the empty box from the pizza we demolished earlier.

"Is someone a little bit too tipsy to do it herself?" Zayn teases, his words slightly slurred.

"Listen, you're just as pissed as I am. Don't you be acting all sober Samaritan now." I say and he stands up from the couch with a smile on his face and takes the pizza box from me.

He leans in and just stands there looking me right in the eye for a few seconds, and I have to withhold the urge to laugh as I'm wondering what the fuck he's doing. He finally kisses me on the forehead and then smiles at me once again.

"You grab the empty bottles." He says, before disappearing out of the living-room.

I pick up the two empty bottles of wine from the table and I'm about to walk out of the living-room when Zayn shouts, "stick some music on!"

I take a few steps backwards and then I walk over to the CD Player in the corner of the room and switch it on, I haven't used this in years and I have no idea which CD is in it. The music starts to play and I realise it's a Chris Brown album that's in. I turn the volume up and walk up the hall and into the kitchen where Zayn is pouring us more drinks.

"This is my jam." Zayn says.

"Oh is it now?" I say with a huge grin on my face, watching on as he shows me his best dance moves.

" _We can be two rebels, breaking the rules, me and you, you and I_." He sings, serenading me with his cheesy dancing.

" _All you gotta do is watch me, look what I can do with my feet_." He sings and my heart flutters as this adorable, slightly drunk man that I am madly in love with is putting his heart and soul into his footwork.

" _What a beautiful lady, no ifs ands or maybes._ " He sings, taking my hand and spinning me round. " _I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing. There's no one else that matters you love me, and I won't let you fall girl, let you fall girl ohhhh_."

"So cheesy." I whisper, just as his lips connect with mine.

The spark he ignites inside of me is something I've never had the pleasure of experiencing before and it feels absolutely amazing. It's crazy how someone can have the power to make another person feel like this. I feel his lips on mine and I just _know_ that I don't ever want to feel anyone's except his on mine ever again.

He slides his hands down my thighs and by the grip on them I know he's about to lift me up. I jump up as he catches a hold of me and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to the kitchen counter and sits me down.

Hands are roaming over skin as we become a hot mess of tongue and teeth and heat.

I reach down under the bottom of his t-shirt and I slowly slide my hands up his toned torso, taking off his t-shirt as I go. He raises his arms in the air and I pull the t-shirt over his head and drop it on the floor.

His lips move from my jaw to my neck and then on to my collarbone, lightly nipping with his teeth as he goes.

His soft hands slide up my back, sending a jolt of electricity through me at every touch. I lift my arms and he pulls my t-shirt over my head and drops it to the floor.

His hands grip my thighs again and I shuffle forward on the counter until my legs are wrapped tightly around his waist as he lifts me up once more. He carries me up the hall and into the bedroom and closes the door behind us.

The music from the living-room can still be heard as he lowers me down onto the bed. I reach for his hands and pull him down beside me. I smile as he looks down at me and brushes a strand of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. It's like something straight out of a cheesy romcom but I can't even deny that my heart does flips at the gesture.

Within seconds our bodies are in a tangled mess. Hot, wet kisses are being placed on every available spot of skin and the feeling of his lips on my neck is driving me crazy.

The song changes on the CD player and I suddenly can't help but burst into laughter.

"What?" Zayn asks, looking at me with amused eyes.

"Listen." I say. He stops what he's doing and listens to the song playing before breaking into a huge grin.

"Cliché." He says, looking at me with a smirk on his face.

"Cliché sex song." I say with a raised eyebrow.

"You know what would be better?" He says, placing a hot kiss on the spot on my neck he knows I love.

"What's that?" I ask, biting my lip.

"If I sang it to you." He says and I can feel him smile against my neck.

"You're such a loser." I say with a stupid grin on my face.

" _Let me take you down, I really wanna take you down_." He sings with laughter in his voice. He imitates the dance Chris Brown does in the 'Take You Down' video and I know he's only taking the piss but he looks so fucking good doing it.

I pull his face to mine and connect our lips once more, I tilt my head to deepen the kiss. His hands go to the waistband of my shorts and underwear and he slowly pulls them down.

He takes off his shorts and boxers and moves closer to me. He pulls me up and wraps his arms around me, his hands sliding up my back until he reaches my bra. He unclips it and throws it to the floor. The feeling of our warm skin touching is indescribable. It sends the butterflies inside my stomach absolutely wild and causes goosebumps to appear on my skin.

He lays me down on the bed and then the spark inside of me ignites once again. Everything after that seems to go in a blur as I experience something I've never experienced before. There's something about being madly in love with the person you're having sex with that makes you think, I wish I would have waited for this person. Because nobody else even compares to this. Nobody can possibly make me feel this way except this person.

And that's exactly how I feel about Zayn. He's the one person I want to experience absolutely everything with. I want to cuddle up next to him in bed in the winter when the snow is falling outside. I want to be there to nurse him back to health if he's ever feeling under the weather. And most of all, as horribly cliché as it sounds, I want to grow old with him.


	49. Chapter 49

Zayn has gone out to get us some breakfast, neither of us could be bothered cooking this morning.

I laze on the couch for a few minutes in my dressing gown, before deciding that I should go for a quick shower before breakfast.

It's still quite early, not long after 9:30. I have an interview later today for a ward assistant position at Langbridge Institute. Not long after what we went through, Zayn and I handed in our notices at the school. There was no way I could step back into that place. Even the thought makes me shudder, the whole place will forever be tainted with betrayal and lies.

We'd been laying low for a while, months have passed and it's just recently that we're starting to properly get our lives back on track.

We've been thinking about moving, Crystal Hills just doesn't seem like home to me anymore. I feel myself constantly glancing over my shoulder anytime I'm out, even though I've no reason to do so.

Zayn sold any belongings he had from when he lived in the mansion, including his car. He made a decent amount of money from what he sold, and along with my savings, the possibility of getting our own place is looking greater each day.

I switch the shower on in the bathroom, before walking into my room to get the fresh towels from the laundry basket that I hadn't put away yet. _Oh well, won't need to do that now_.

As I enter the bathroom, the steam from the shower has already filled the room and fogged up the mirror.

I take off my dressing gown and throw it in the hamper in the corner. I take a look at my legs and notice that they could be doing with a shave. It's transitioning into winter now and I don't usually bother shaving in the winter if I'm honest. But for the first time in my life, I actually want to.

I open the bathroom cabinet to get some more soap and I spot Zayns shaving bag at the back of the cabinet. I'd prefer to use shaving foam on my legs rather than soap, so I pull the bag out and open it up to retrieve the shaving foam. My eyes fall on the small zip inside the bag, indicating a small pocket inside it. I notice something sticking out of it and my curiosity wants to know what it is.

I open the zip and I see fully now what it is. Two small, clear plastic bags. One is filled with white powder, the other has about 20 pills in it.

It's obvious what the powder is, so I pick up the bag of pills and examine them. Most of them look like ecstasy pills, but I'm unsure what the rest are.

I sit the bags down on the side of the sink and honestly, I'm in shock.

Do these belong to Zayn? Has he been taking drugs and I haven't even noticed? How on earth could I not notice that?

I hear the front door open and I freeze.

"I'm back!" Zayn shouts.

I quickly close the shaving bag and put it back into the cabinet, leaving the bags of drugs on the side of the sink.

"Won't be long, just finishing up in the shower!" I shout back.

"No problem babe!" He replies.

As I stand in the shower my mind is racing with questions. Do they even belong to Zayn? The way they were hidden makes me think yes.

I quickly jump out of the shower and dry myself, wrapping a towel around my body and one around my hair. I pick up the bags and take a deep breath before walking up the hall to meet Zayn in the kitchen.

He's sitting at the table tucking into his breakfast, mines sits across from him waiting to be eaten. I don't really feel particularly hungry anymore.

He smiles at me as I enter the kitchen. I take a seat at the table across from him, not really sure how to start this conversation.

I sit the two bags down in front of me and his face drops as he spots them.

"Are these yours?" I ask.

"What? No, of course not." He replies a little too quickly. I know he's lying.

"Don't lie to me." I tell him.

"I'm not." He says, I look him dead in the eye and I _know_ for a fact he's lying to me.

Since we've been together I've noticed that whenever he's lying his right eyebrow raises just a bit, barely even noticeable unless you know what to look out for. Previous times he's lied haven't been serious one bit, it's been silly things like on Halloween " _yes you look good in that pumpkin outfit_ " and then we both burst into laughter because I definitely did not. But this is serious, and I actually feel a sting of anger and hurt that he's lying to me.

"Fine." I reply with a straight face and irritated tone. I push my chair out with a loud screech and I walk out of the kitchen and up into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I don't mean for it to slam as loud as it does and I cringe as the loud noise seems to echo around me.

I sit for a few minutes, trying to calm down when there's a light knock on the bedroom door. I don't bother saying anything.

The door opens, "Kaya?" Zayn says, almost whispering, as he enters the bedroom.

I look up at him but don't say anything.

"I'm sorry." He says, sighing.

"For?" I reply, tone still clipped. I don't really mean for it to come out so harsh but it leaves my mouth before I even have a chance to think about it.

He takes a deep breath and walks closer to me.

"I haven't been truthful with you." He tells me and I look up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm not the person you think I am."He tells me.

He runs a hand through his hair as he adds: " _at all_." And the way he says it sends a shiver up my spine.

—

 _FYI: this chapter has been completely changed and rewritten. So if you're maybe looking at the comments and wondering what the hell everybody's talking about, they're referring to the old chapter. Thought I'd just mention that_


	50. Chapter 50

"What do you mean you're not the person I think you are?" I ask.

He looks terrified, his hands are shaking and I've never seen him look so nervous.

"Oh, Kaya." He says, putting his face into his trembling hands and shaking his head.

"I should've told you from the beginning. I was scared of how you'd react, I didn't want to lose you. I _can't_ lose you." He says in a rambling manner, as if trying to get the words out as quickly as possible.

"Zayn, you're starting to scare me. Tell me what the fuck you're talking about." I demand.

He exhales a long and shaky breath, looking as though he's about to throw up.

"I'm a drug dealer." He pauses, " _Was_ a drug dealer." He says, looking up at me with such vulnerability in his eyes.

"And user." He adds, casting his head down in shame.

I honestly do not know what to say. I have a million words floating in my head but none of them seem to want to come together to formulate a sentence.

"You're a drug dealer?" I ask, shocked.

"I was. I'm not anymore Kaya, I swear to you." He says, moving closer to me.

"And you take drugs?" I ask.

"Not for a while." He says.

"Tell me everything." I tell him. He stands up and sits beside me on the bed and I turn to face him.

"I don't even know where to start." He shakes his head and I just sit there and wait for him to explain it.

"I know my family is dead. _Now_ I know." He starts and the words make me feel sick and extremely saddened.

"Why did you tell me they were alive? Why did you act like your gran had gone mad when she mentioned it?" I ask.

"I don't even know how to explain any of this Kaya. It's like parts of my memory are missing. I can barely even make sense of it myself." He sighs.

"Try." I urge.

"Gran took it hard when they...when they passed. I didn't feel anything, I was numb. I think I was in shock." He tells me.

"It became unbearable to live with Gran, I should've been there for her. We should've been there for each other. But instead I left, and she didn't stop me."

"That's when _he_ got in touch. He offered me a room at the mansion, he gave me a car, he got me a job at the school. At first it was good, but it soon turned ugly. He started arguing with me a lot, and then one day he went further than that and punched me." He tells me and my heart sinks.

"I fought back, but then he said that if I dare lay a finger on him again I would be out on the street with nothing. I had no choice but to take it. I had nowhere else to go."

I just sit there in silence, because I'm unsure of what to say. My heart aches for him.

"It just kept getting worse. My body was constantly cut and bruised. He would hit me in places that could be easily covered so that people wouldn't become suspicious."

"One day, he told me he needed me to do something for him, and he handed me a bag of coke. He told me to deliver it to some guy and bring the money back to him. I didn't want to do it, I know how stupid it was but I felt like I had no choice. Then it became a regular occurrence." He says.

"I remember there was one night when he'd left to go out of town. Earlier that day he had hurt me bad, I was in so much pain and I had to somehow make it go away. I couldn't bear the pain. So I took some of the pills. And then soon enough I was taking everything going, it was the only thing that seemed to numb the pain." His face flushes red with shame and I need to blink away the tears forming in my eyes.

"There were so many times where I'd take that much that I would hallucinate and I'd have no idea what was going on around me. And then once it wore off, things would start coming back to me but they wouldn't make sense. They'd all come back in random flashes and I couldn't make any sense of them. I didn't know what was real and what was fake. There are certain things that I don't remember, like, my mum and dad and sisters funerals. I don't recall any of them. I don't remember being there. And there were days that I would forget, and I'd still think they were alive."

As he says the words I think back to the numerous times I spoke to him where he just seemed _off_ and it all starts to make sense _._ Like when he said he was speaking to Darryl in the cleaning cupboard, and when I was supposed to make the paninis and then he had no recollection of it at all. I feel sick as I think of that night that he collapsed in front of me, and then spending the night in the hospital waiting room. I think back to the confusion in his eyes as he was adamant that his family were still alive and well and living in America.

"That night you collapsed in here, you didn't collapse of dehydration, did you?" I ask and he lowers his head.

"No. I asked the doctor to keep quiet about it because I couldn't face telling you the truth. It was a reaction, the drugs and alcohol didn't mix well and my body couldn't cope with it. He said I was lucky it didn't kill me." He tells me and my heart drops at the thought.

"Why did you take the drugs that night?" I ask. We were together in the saloon that night and I try to think back to see if I can remember him disappearing at all to take them, and then I recall him being in the toilet while I waited for the taxi.

"My ribs ached. I didn't want to take them when I was in your company Kaya, but I couldn't stop myself. I'm so sorry." He says, looking like he's about to burst into tears.

"And what about when you went to the doctors after we'd been at your grans, when he told you to see a psychiatrist? He never said that there was nothing physically wrong with you, did he?" I ask.

"No." He shakes his head, "he told me if I continued on the road I was going I would wind up killing myself."

I'm lost for words. I don't really know what to say. Everything is starting to make sense to me now.

"And you don't do it anymore? You don't sell them or take them?" I ask, scared of his answer.

"No, Kaya, not for months. You've got to believe me." He leans forward and takes my hands in his.

"Have you been tempted? To take them I mean?" I ask, tightening my hands around his.

"At first. But then, what happened to us, it seemed to snap me out of it somehow. I couldn't think about anything else when we were in there." He tells me.

"Kaya?" He asks me after a few seconds.

"They're really gone, aren't they? My parents and my sisters?" He asks, his voice breaking. And I know that it's right in this moment that it has properly hit him.

"Yes." I whisper, squeezing his hand.

My heart breaks as I see his face fall and I know that all the suppressed grief is now leaving him. Tears start to form in his eyes and before I know it he's full on breaking down. I pull him close to me and rub his back, his arms, his neck, _anything_ , to desperately try to console him but it doesn't work.

I don't say a thing. I know there are no words to help him right now, so we just sit there. He cries and cries in my arms, and I cry with him.

I don't care about his past. I understand what he did and why he did it. I love this man with every single part of me and if it's possible, I love him even more now.

—

_Guys....we only have a couple (1 or maybe 2) chapters left :((((_

_I'm now #16 in mystery/thriller what?!? It's all thanks to you beautiful people for voting and commenting! So thank you so much!_

_–Sx_


	51. Epilogue

It's been six months and I still don't think I'm quite used to my surroundings. In a way, not that much has changed. Just where we live and where we work, mostly. Instead of waking up in Crystal Hills - a place that didn't feel like home anymore - we're waking up in a beautiful little cottage in a beautiful little village surrounded by glorious scenery and dare I say it, _happiness_.

Instead of walking through the doors of Crystal Hills High School and having all of these awful memories hang over me like a dark cloud, I'm walking through the doors of Langbridge Institution. It's different and it's interesting and challenging and I love the fact that every day is different.

I also couldn't be more proud of Zayn right now. Six months ago was a terrible time for him. He was grieving for his family, and having to watch him every day not even having the will to get out of bed in the morning absolutely broke my heart. It was hard on both of us, but I had to be strong for him. It was the least I could do after all of the times he was strong for me.

I remember the turning point for him so clearly. It was a Wednesday morning, around 9am. I woke up to the sound of clattering in the kitchen, scared half to death because I thought someone had broken in. Then I turned around and noticed Zayns side of the bed was empty. Honestly, I was still in a bit of a panic. I stood up from the bed and put my dressing gown on and grabbed one of my old crutches, y'know just incase it wasn't Zayn and there were in fact intruders in the kitchen.

You should have seen his face when I crept into the kitchen with this crutch held out in front of me. At first he looked terrified, then he realised it was me and he burst into laughter. And oh god, I remember how happy I felt in that moment. It had been so long since I'd heard his beautiful laugh and I wasn't sure when I'd get to hear it again. I dropped the crutch without a word and rushed over to him and threw my arms around him, tears forming in my eyes. It may sound dramatic, and I guess it was a little, but honestly the pride and happiness I felt in that moment was so intense that I couldn't help it.

A few days later, Zayn started to see a therapist. At first he'd see him twice a week, but here we are six months down the line and he doesn't feel the need to go anymore.

One thing that has really helped Zayn with all of this is music. _His_ music. He's been writing his own music and lyrics, recording covers and posting videos of them. He's gained quite a fanbase online and he's bagged a few local gigs, things are looking great for him and I know with his talent it's only going to get better.

I feel a whole range of emotions when I think back on this past year. It's still a bit surreal when I think about.

You know when something happens in your life - something big - and you just don't know how you'll ever get over it? And then six months, a year, five years down the line and there you are. Over it.

Maybe you're not completely over it, but you're definitely getting there. And you realise that this _thing_ , this bad thing that happened to you, isn't your life. It's just exactly that. A _thing_. It's a bad thing that happened to you.

**It is not you.**

Do not let this thing define you, because you're so much more than that. I know it's easier said than done, but I can vouch for it. As I sit here, happy, with that pain inside of me down to a minuscule almost nothing. I know that I'll be fine, and you will too. Please believe that. Whatever you're going through, whatever happened to you, it's not YOU. It's just a _thing_ that happened to you. And it will get better.

—

_Guys. Oh my god. That was it. The very last chapter of Entangled!!! I'm so sad_ _:((((_


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